Retrospective…

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~

My eyes can see clearly now…
Through the pain we amassed…

To understand it for what it was…
Enough time has now passed…

And penetrate those defences…
The walls that we both built…

Constructed with our anger…
As we allowed our love to wilt…

A love that was once so beautiful…
But became toxic and decayed…

And the cast iron trust we held…
Gave way to feelings so betrayed…

Whilst in the heat of the moment…
Those vicious words wounded…

Becoming arrows of destruction…
Before we both finally concluded…

The only way to move forward…
Was six degrees of separation…

Some space and time to think…
Without any fear of vilification…

But now I’m able to look back…
Even though it’s all very raw…

And see we never stood a chance…
In that cold degenerating war…

As those cracks are now so vivid…
I see where it began to fall apart…

Yet we never saw it coming…
As we fumbled along in the dark…

Living in a disconnected world…
Dominated by our selfish actions…

Never seeing the bigger picture…
And burdened by slow reactions…

Which allowed those demons in…
Those sinful thoughts to grow…

So when our greatest test came…
Those weaknesses were shown…

And I can see it clearly now…
But at the time I was consumed…

Eyes filled with rage and jealousy…
That destroyed and left us doomed…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Jealous Guy” By John Lennon

 

Clarity…

fIHDG

~

The deafening silence…
Those futile gestures…
 
They trample feelings…
While bitterness festers…
 
As it’s happened before…
Now it’s started again…
 
And the instant replay…
Brings instant pain…
 
Whilst descending clouds…
Of opposite thoughts…
 
Bring feelings of anger…
Pointing out all the faults…
 
But with tension mounting…
And each anxiety attack…
 
Those beautiful memories…
Now fade into black…
 
As the cigarette burns…
It’s spinning out of control…
 
With a broken spirit…
And a battered soul…
 
Leaving nothing behind…
All senses are numb…
 
It feels never ending…
But it’s only just begun…
 
And stood in isolation…
Trying to hide away…
 
The teardrop won’t fall…
But the heart’s in decay…
 
Always battling demons…
Blocking out those voices…
 
Forever finger pointing…
And criticising choices…
 
Yet the distant thunder…
Leads to clearer thinking…
 
The sudden realisation…
That our sun is slowly sinking…
 
With no time to look beyond…
No need to delve deeper…
 
Because in this very moment…
You know it’s time to leave her…

~
©Eyewillnotcry1973
Inspired by song “Oh my love” by John Lennon

“And the eyes in his head, see the world spinning round”…

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~

You think I don’t know…

Think my eyes can’t see…

But this EYE sees it all…

When you play hide and seek…

I know when you’re looking…

My eyes are not blind…

This EYE can see you…

You’re so easy to find…

You must think I am stupid…

And take me for a fool…

I listen as you protest…

But just keep my cool…

Finding it hard to trust you…

Whilst you easily deceive…

Making it harder and harder…

To keep going or believe…

So I read between the lines…

Watch the signs as you lie…

Reading the hidden secrets…

Your body language supplies…

The things you won’t admit…

The words your lips don’t say…

It wasn’t always like this…

I remember those simple days…

When things felt less complicated…

Within a complex web of deceit…

And walls had not been constructed…

Out of cement and solid concreate…

But life is seldom straightforward…

It loves to fuck, twist and turn…

And now you sit there watching…

As my candle melts and burns…

Thinking I don’t notice you…

And that you are never seen…

Believing you are invisible…

But things are not as they seem…

So don’t think I don’t know…

Don’t think my eyes can’t see…

Because this EYE sees it all…

When you play hide and seek…

~

“And these memories lose their meaning”…

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~

There are moments in life…
You can never live again…

Moments of pure joy…
Moments of searing pain…

Moments of distraction…
Moments of sinful pleasure…

And moments of deep regret…
That haunt you at your leisure…

There are moments of hurt…
That rip out your heart…

Moments of pure insanity…
Never planned for at the start…

There are moments you create…
And moments that just happen…

The ones you didn’t foresee…
But they left you totally flattened…

There are moments you captured…
Now embedded in your brain…

The ones that you dream about…
Watch again, frame by frame…

And moments that backfired…
That became your nightmares…

They haunt you in your sleep…
Pushing you into deep despair…

There are moments you cherish…
Ones that make you smile…

Moments when life had meaning…
And it all felt so worthwhile…

Those moments you rewind…
The ones you try to replay…

Not the moments of regret…
That must be locked away…

And there was a moment of clarity…
When it all came together…

When you realised your path…
Was the route to stormy weather…

And you came to a crossroads…
Where you finally had to choose…

Was this the life you wanted…
Time to stick or twist, bust and lose…

~

Photo by @michalhustaty on instagram

“You were only waiting for this moment to be free”…

Please welcome Alethea as tonight’s guest poet!  You can read more of her work here:

http://www.theheronspath.com

If you would like to be featured – please send me your words to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk
Cheers
J

3-23_red_wing_black_bird_singing
Threshold

I murmur the I,
I cannot open the door to emptiness, I fill with expectations,
I do not know the way deer recess into dappled light,
I do not know the way deer become forest,
someday when I am not upon the earth
water will still recede from rice fields,
redwing blackbirds will rise from tules,
mustard will sprout yellow buds,
someday my ashes will rain over the stubborn chaparral
and the carbon of my bones blend with the basalt outcrops,
and fill with expectation,
the way deer recess into dappled light,
the way deer become forest,
the way fault lines lift the land and hills of red rock
are scraped away, how slopes slump and rivulets
erode mountains, leaving space for the sky to fill,
and the deer disappear into forest
and the light filters down the branches of trees
erasing the I, and light is murmuring,
and doors open to emptiness, and ashes rain
a million years, and then the earth splits open
creating lake, murmuring the blackbird
and the mustard seeds spreading across hillocks,
islands rimming with tules, with sedge weed
and berry vine, still the I, still the forest,
still the deer disappearing into light

“He didn’t notice that the lights had changed”…

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~

He opens his eyes,
to Red sky in the morning…

Understanding the message,
he recognises the warning…

Wrapped in natures beauty,
but steeped in superstition…

His heart fills with fear,
at what may come to fruition…

And floods his weak body,
with a nauseating stress…

Such a paralysing power,
that leaves him so helpless…

And open to an attack,
from dark forces within…

The voices in his head and
the Sirens who sing…

As he tries to block them out,
tries so hard to function…

Amidst all the wreckage,
praying for an injunction…

So he can sit on a swing,
as the day slowly passes…

Watching the gliding birds,
through Zen like glasses…

Listening to the sound,
of the creaking, unoiled chain…

Lost in that moment,
with peace in his brain…

A million miles away,
from all that he knows…

The pain in his heart,
like a cancer, it grows…

As the scars he carries,
amongst the mental stresses…

Colour his daily view and
very slowly depresses…

And as that blood Red sky,
brings its visible warning…

He prays he’ll make it through,
to face another morning…

~

“No one you can save, that can’t be saved”…

heart

~

Her name is Gabriella and
she serves with a smile…

All the passing travellers,
who sit and rest a while…

Hundreds of different eyes,
each and every day…

A thousand false smiles,
as she wishes time away…

Waiting for the one,
to walk into the room…

Sweep her off her feet and
free her from this tomb…

End the mind numbing,
switch on the electricity…

That will light up her soul,
not heat up Black coffee…

Her eyes mask her history,
the path that led her here…

The men that she encountered,
who filled her life with fear…

They pushed her to the limit,
tried to break her spirited soul…

In a world of drugs and vice,
they were in full control…

But she somehow made it,
found the escape route…

Yet now she pines for more,
as she dishes out the soup…

Looking for kindness,
in each and every interaction…

Searching for a White knight,
not just sinful distraction…

Someone to make sense,
of this cold, cruel Earth…

Someone who will hold her and
value her worth…

Her name is Gabriella and
love is all she needs…

Searching all the travellers,
that she hosts and feeds…

~