Louder…

Please welcome Aaron Murdoch as tonight’s Guest Poet.

Aaron is a contributor to the Pink Floyd forum found here: http://www.neptunepinkfloyd.co.uk/forum/

If you would like to be a Guest Poet, please email your words to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk

Cheers

fins

The Endless River…

What toiling of rain-clouds
Pretty deservedly perfectly makes sense now
The universe is telling me I missed bedtime
The party of sitting down wants to carry on

And as long as there’s music this won’t stop
An interpretation more than reaction
To my brain’s stimulus
The moments of doing nothing to remember how to listen

Be the smartest detective and flick correct switch
That opens every single trapdoor within
Five mile radius
The greatest detective light years from Holmes
Would still never work out if presented all the clues

Kept too busy to follow own threads
Accumulate information but never forgetting
To drink
Until it goes weird

Then wake up cold shower breakfast
Continue duty of amassing information
Do you think the rain has stopped?
Or better to sit inside and carry on

Mark this my final all night goodbye
For getting myself into routine of jobs
And if I always have this music it will all make sense
It was correct inspiring achievement
To accompany whatever victory has this background

Rain-clouds defeated in making me stop
Also the clicking wheel turning
Loses the credit charge
Walks off with footsteps

Being lost by the violent wind
To consequence through my fibres
Resonating in clarity and truth

One that would leave the stage
Drive away further from the arena
To stare at the moonlight outside venue

Trying to make sense of what just happened?
Highlights of recordings business acumen
Still myself and there just right to take
It must have stirred emotions

Of people once known who never heard this
After contentment the story had been completed
No camera tricks made of sounds
Rumble of thunder

Instead processed clouds
With here I can see their door closing
But slowly
A full scan from the front door wide open
And standing in doorway head scanning everything passing by.

“Can’t keep my mind from the circling skies”…

angels

~

Flying high…
10,000 feet…

Tired mind…
Slow heartbeat…

Needing sleep…
And recharge…

Numbing senses…
Headache large…

Always pulsing…
Stabbing pain…

Sweating forehead…
Sweeping rain…

Hitting eyes…
High altitude…

Blurring vision…
Darkened mood…

Sickening nausea…
Claustrophobic brain…

Incessant paranoia…
Clinically insane…

Violent thoughts…
Softly spoken…

Constant demons…
Spirit broken…

Forever speaking…
Multi voices…

Never happy…
Criticising choices…

Turning left…
Staying right…

Playing out…
Sinful night…

Never listening…
Didn’t understand…

Never helping…
Withdrawing hand…

Everything fading…
Turning black…

Another wave…
Relentless attacks…

~

“I have become, comfortably numb”…

ang

~

Here he lies sleeping…
Deep underground…

The grass has grown over…
No trace can be found…

Just a simple plot…
With memories and flowers…

So peaceful and so quiet…
I could sit here for hours…

A place that’s so detached…
In a field full of pain…

My mind floods with memories…
Under a sky filled with rain…

Refusing to let emotions show…
Keeping tears locked away inside…

It’s the way he brought me up…
Even now I can’t cry…

It’s all floating around in there…
Yet I keep it all closed…

If I open the box…
I’ll feel so vulnerable, so exposed…

That’s just not an option…
So it’s a choice I have made…

And along with all the others…
Grieving will be forever delayed…

Perhaps this is my weakness…
A sign that I’m not strong…

But don’t lay there and judge me…
Don’t tell me this is wrong…

It doesn’t mean I don’t think about you…
Or what you mean to me…

Maybe one day I’ll resolve this…
Perhaps then I’ll be set free…

Until then you can sleep…
Your body covered in dirt…

Becoming at one with the Earth…
And at peace from all your hurt…

~

“All you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be”…

hyy

~

Are you reading him…

Loud, true and clear…

Can you feel him…

All of his fears…

All of his thoughts…

Once hidden away…

Can you hear them…

Now clear as day…

Through holes in time…

Between stars in space…

Projecting it out…

His total disgrace…

He’s opening up…

And letting you in…

It’s what you wanted…

Take it, you win…

Just have it all…

All of his thoughts…

His deep dark secrets…

The battles he’s fought…

And the scars he carries…

Feel them with your fingers…

In between the cracks…

Where his pain still lingers…

And now you have it…

What the fuck can you do…

You still can’t help him…

That much is true…

You’ve cracked the nut…

Gained your satisfaction…

But his life won’t change…

There’s no chain reaction…

He carries on as normal…

You never really could help…

The mental wounds are his…

The memories are Hell…

But you got what you wanted…

Now please, just leave…

It’s time for you to go…

He needs space to breathe…

~

“There’s someone in my head, but it’s not me”…

dark

~

It’s cold and it’s dark…

No sunlight in there…

Alone with his thoughts…

All alone with his fears…

Just those four walls…

And his mental cell…

An inescapable prison…

The never-ending Hell…

With voices that echo…

Deep inside his head…

Sending him crazy…

Torture, drip-fed…

Around and around…

Around the fuckers go…

Will they ever stop…

He really doesn’t know…

Laughing one minute…

Then they’re screaming…

Is he really awake…

Or is he just dreaming…

And all this is fake…

Just one big illusion…

That fucks with his mind…

Leading to much confusion…

Punching his stomach…

Leaving such dull ache…

While the sickness and nausea….

Prevent any hope of escape…

Leaving him feeling helpless…

And spinning his wheels…

A life that’s never lived…

And one that’s unable to feel…

As there is no way out…

Not now, not ever…

The darkness has engulfed…

The blackness is forever…

Because it’s so very dark…

No hope exists in there…

And every fibre of his soul…

Is crippled by the fear…

~

“How I wish, how I wish you were here…”

In honour of post number 600 (yes, it astounded me too!) it feels fitting to revisit where it all began. This was my first poem, not the first I showed the world, but the first I scribbled when I started…

Hope you enjoy and thank you all for continuing to read and enjoy my rambles…

Cheers
J

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~

It is as it is…
Perhaps it never was…
Staring into the abyss…
On the brink of utter chaos…

They sit there and judge me…
But have no idea who I am…
Can not see what I see…
Or read my cosmic plan…

They don’t really know me…
Or begin to truly understand…
Life won’t ever set us free…
Fate’s not in our command…

They find it hard to trust me…
Garden where confusion grew…
Mirror where my heart should be…
Distorts their point of view…

They won’t ever forgive me…
Sick of playing silly games…
Drowning in a spiteful sea…
Trapped in Hell’s Black flames…

They won’t ever release me…
A prisoner of their hateful war…
Even when on bended knee…
Emotional cage remains mine to explore…

They know the one who held me…
The one that I let go…
Please don’t tell nobody…
And never let it show…

It is as it is…
Perhaps it never was…
The edge of the abyss…
The brink of utter chaos…

~

“Life going nowhere, somebody help me”…

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~

He’s caught within a moment,
that’s been frozen in time…

Burned into his soul,
it arrived with no warning sign…

A vivid vision in his mind,
it’s like he’s under some spell…

And he can’t break free,
this is his living Hell…

As when he closes his eyes,
he sees her staring back…

Her pale and lifeless face,
just staring into Black…

Because a single moment changed him,
the wrong place and wrong time…

Lost his sense of right and wrong,
as he carried out this crime…

As fate conspired against him,
leading him down a path…

And once at the crossroads,.
there was no turning back…

But he didn’t mean to hurt her,
just saw a golden opportunity…

To get to know her better and
try to make her see…

That he was the one for her,
him alone and no one else…

But when she laughed into his face,
he felt the anger rise within himself…

Pushed her to the ground,
snapping her neck just like a twig…

And before he could save her,
she had danced her final jig…

Now he sits here crying,
driven insane by what he’s done…

Not knowing how to fix this mess,
or kill the monster he’s become…

As he’s caught in that one moment,
that’s been frozen in time…

His life is going nowhere and
his Sun no longer shines…

~