“I can’t stand to see, you look at me in that way”…

girld

~

I know all is lost…
I know you are gone…

I know what I did…
I know I was wrong…

I made a mistake…
I abused all your trust…

I destroyed what we had…
I feel only disgust…

I have no excuses…
I just can’t explain…

I can’t make this right…
I can’t ease your pain…

I can’t change the past…
I can’t press reset…

I play it over and over…
I’m filled with regret…

I can no longer sleep…
I can’t seem to cope…

I’ve no way forward…
I’m lost in the smoke…

I’m not asking for pity…
I don’t want sympathy…

I just need you to know…
I wasn’t the real me…

I projected my anger…
I’m responsible for the act…

I wish I could rewind…
I wish I could go back…

I never meant to hurt you…
I never meant to cause harm…

I just wanted you to listen…
I needed to raise the alarm…

I couldn’t find the words…
I couldn’t articulate…

I didn’t think about it…
I acted in such haste…

I let my fists speak…
I broke all the rules…

Eye made you cry…
I’m such a fool…

I am sorry…

~

 

“I was snug as fuck”…

fuck1

~

The days are warm…
But the nights are cold…

And that summer feeling…
Feels so very old…

A long time ago…
A dim, distant memory…

Of us fooling around…
Just you and me…

Experimenting…
Fearless and naked…

Not looking out…
For anything sacred…

Young and naive…
And just having fun…

Our eyes being opened…
To what could be done…

Dark, sinful pleasures…
And sexual desires…

Touching each other…
Lighting our fires…

Lost in the moment…
The kiss and the tease…

Satisfying our hunger…
Both eager to please…

But as your eyes…
Were drawn to another…

I spat out my anger…
And jealousy smothered…

Everything we’d built…
All I thought I knew…

I couldn’t handle my feelings…
And took them out on you…

I pushed you away…
And isolated myself…

Watching you bloom…
As I sat sadly on the shelf…

I lost the warmth…
As you turned colder…

And I regret my actions…
Now that I’m older…

~

“It was only one moment like any other, but I still remember her face”…

spin-the-bottle-marilyn-monroe

~

It’s raining again…
The clouds have covered the night sky…

It’s so cold, so dark…
No sign of the stars through eyes that want to cry…

Under naked street lights…
As his mind conflicts and his memories fight…

A heavy feeling filling his feet…
Still walking to the sound of her beat…

Remembering that time and place…
He last saw her pretty face…

When life was easy and so fine…
Drinking glasses of cheap Red wine…

Spinning the bottle…
Adrenaline full throttle…

The games of truth…
Under someone else’s roof…

And all the dares…
Her matching underwear…
His longing stares…

The unspoken feelings…
On the floor kneeling…
Talking in code was so easy, so appealing…

In the bloom of his youth…
Dancing around the truth…

If only, if only, if only…

If only he wasn’t a nobody…
If only he and she could be…
If only she’d look closer and see…

His utter desire…
The never ending fire…

She was so out of reach…
And a lesson it tried to teach…

But the warning was not heeded…
Further lessons in life, would be needed…

As he would fall for others…
But his dreams would be smothered…
Leaving his loving soul undiscovered…

But forever; this one remains…
In his mind, playing games…
That will always end the same…
As he wanders through the rain…

His eyes ready to burst…
At the thought of his first…

~

Photo credit the amazing Stacey Wells http://www.artistwells.net/#!__spin-the-bottle

“Well I’m a nice guy, drawing back my arrow”…

304687_263149110472366_1137748590_n

~

Go and tell the world…

Tell them everything…

Each selected detail…

Play the helpless victim…

Tell them how he hurt you…

That he’s wicked to the core…

How he made you feel so sad…

And your crying eyes so sore…

Tell them about your scars…

That will never ever heal…

Tell them how he broke your heart…

And you can no longer feel…

Tell them how he fooled you…

Tell them about all his games…

That he’s such a bad person…

And never again speak his name…

Tell them tales to satisfy…

Your drama queen desire…

To be the centre of attention…

The Red flame in the fire…

The one that bends the truth…

To satisfy inner needs…

And remaining in control…

The one who always leads…

Go and tell them anything…

Except a version of reality…

The one you can’t admit to…

Or want the world to see…

Of how you deceived him…

Wearing your clever disguise…

Had him hung on every word…

When every word was a lie…

But now you have your victory…

Which is what you really want…

To have your feelings validated…

Whilst he remains so nonchalant…

So please, go tell the world…

Tell them every fucking thing…

As it no longer matters…

The puppet has cut the string…

~

“Like a dream to have you on my arm”…

images

~

He’s stuck in a moment,
his eyes on the past…

His brain full of nostalgia,
with memories that last…

And haunt his present,
whilst struggling to get through…

As the life he’s living,
is filled with images of you…

The one he craved for,
Twenty years ago…

He knew from the first moment,
but he had to let go…

As the timing was wrong and
the stars weren’t aligned…

Yet he always loved you and
at one stage, tried to find…

Tracking you down,
to tell you his thoughts…

But when he saw you,
cold feet forced him to abort…

So he stood in the shadows,
gazed upon your face…

Saw your contented smile,
then left without a trace…

But with a shattered heart,
that refused to mend…

And told him over and over,
to bin the love letters, not send…

Now Twenty years later,
he has not moved on…

And still lives in the past,
even if it’s so wrong…

Filled with such regret,
at not taking his chance…

That moment in his life,
when he wanted to dance…

But now sits in the window,
that lonely table for one…

His heart aching for her,
as his mind comes undone…

~

Photo credit to Wolf_Pictures

“I was snug as fuck”…

fuck1

~

The days are warm…
But the nights are cold…
And that summer feeling…
Now feels so very old…
Such a long time ago…
A dim, distant memory…
Of us fooling around…
Just you and me…

Experimenting…
Fearless and naked…
Not looking out…
For anything sacred…
Young and naive…
And just having fun…
Our eyes being opened…
To what could be done…

Dark, sinful pleasures…
And sexual desires…
Touching each other…
Lighting our fires…
Lost in the moment…
The kiss and the tease…
Satisfying our hunger…
Both eager to please…

But as your eyes…
Were drawn to another…
I spat out my anger…
And jealousy smothered…
Everything we’d built…
All I thought I knew…
I couldn’t handle my feelings…
And took them out on you…

I pushed you away…
And isolated myself…
Watching you bloom…
As I sat sadly on the shelf…
I lost the warmth…
As you turned colder…
And I regret my actions…
Now that I am older…

~

“It was only one moment like any other, but I still remember her face”…

spin-the-bottle-marilyn-monroe

It’s raining again…

The clouds have covered
the night sky…

It’s so cold, so dark…

No sign of the stars…

Just naked street lights…
As his mind conflicts
and his memories fight…

A heavy feeling fills his feet…
Still walking to her beat…

Remembering the time and place…
That he last saw her pretty face…

When life was easy
and fine…
Drinking cheap Red wine…

Spinning the bottle…
Adrenaline full throttle…

The games of truth…
Under someone else’s
roof…

And all the dares…
Her matching underwear…
His longing stares…

The unspoken feelings…
On the floor kneeling…
Talking in code was so
easy, so appealing…

In the bloom of his youth…
Dancing around the truth…

If only, if only, if only…

If only he wasn’t a nobody…
If only he and she could be…
If only she could
look closer and see…

His utter desire…
The never ending fire…

She was so out of reach…
And a lesson it tried to teach…

But the warning was
not heeded…
Further lessons in life
would be needed…

As he would fall
for others…
But his dreams would
be smothered…
Leaving his loving soul
undiscovered…

But forever this one remains…
In his mind, playing games…
That will always end the same…
As he wanders through
the rain…

His eyes ready to burst…
At the thought of
his first…

~

Photo credit the amazing Stacey Wells http://www.artistwells.net/#!__spin-the-bottle