Lost…

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She searches the darkness…
For some kind of sign…

Looking for something…
To forgive all her crimes…

Always missing the point…
And still crossing the line…

Never really expressing…
What’s hidden deep inside…

Or ever letting them see…
The times she has cried…

The mistakes she’s made…
All the times she’s lied…

And one of these days…
She may well understand…

As the minutes pass by…
And the hourglasses sand…

Slowly ebbs away…
Merging into years…

Stealing her youth…
And increasing her fears…

As she loses her sanity…
Strand by fucking strand…

Always yearning to leave…
That no man’s land…

A life that’s in limbo…
With no light at the end…

Never trusting any other…
No one to call a friend…

Walking in circles…
And living in shadows…

Stood on the edges…
Where no one else goes…

And no one else sees…
Or really takes the time…

To scratch the surface…
So she tells them she’s FINE…

But the truth is hidden…
And always kept that way…

Because the simple fact is…
She’s not really OK…

~

Poem inspired by the song: Electro Shock Blues

Song by The Eels

“Write down “I am OK”, a hundred times the doctors say”…

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I search in the darkness, for a sign…
At the same time, I pretend I’m fine…
Missing the point, then crossing the line…
Never expressing, what’s deep inside…
Or letting them see, when Eye cried…
The mistakes I make and the times I lied…
One day, I may finally understand…
Keeping an eye, on the hourglasses sand…
As I lose my sanity, strand by strand…
Yearning to leave, this no man’s land…

~

“Girl, before I met you I was F.I.N.E. fine”…

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FINE …

One word …

Four letters …

Let’s pretend …

That nothing matters …

Nothing is wrong …

No words spoken …

When deep inside …

Everything is broken …

Won’t tell a soul …

Can’t let them see …

So all is FINE …

And good with me …

Say the word …

And nobody asks …

Not scratching the surface …

Just walking on past …

Moving on to the next …

Leaving me alone …

They dodge a bullet …

Whilst I stifle my moan …

Covering the truth …

There’s no other way …

What if I told you …

What would you say …

If I opened up …

What could you do …

It’s not your problem …

These are my issues …

Seen through my eyes …

And my perspective …

What do you care …

It’s all so subjective …

My mountain ranges …

Are your mole hills …

My fears, my doubts …

You’d handle with skill …

So it’s not important …

No need to vent …

I’ll keep it inside …

And that will prevent …

You needing to invest …

Any more of your time …

Because it doesn’t matter …

Honestly, I’m F.I.N.E …
 
Fucked up…
Insecure…
Neurotic…
Emotional…

~