Twisted Game…

~

We walk hand in hand…
Strolling side by side…

Repressing all our emotions…
Hid behind our thin disguise…

Never articulating feelings…
No matter what we may think…

Engaged in a war of attrition…
Where only the weakest will blink…

Our aura burnt with blackness…
Beneath a dark depressive cloud…

Anxiety wrapped around our souls…
Like a heavy, cast iron shroud…

It’s become some twisted game…
Where only broken people can win…

We need to ask ourselves a question…
Where did all the heartache begin…

Just how and where and why…
Did our lives end up like this…

Because back when we were young…
We’d never stare into the abyss…

Our lives were simply innocent…
With a sense of right and wrong…

No complicated shades of grey…
The energy of youth pulled us along…

But somewhere down life’s highway…
We turned left instead of right…

We missed a vital signpost…
Ignited an internal gunfight…

And the emotional war raged on…
Becoming a battleground for years…

We were powerless to stop the fighting…
We were too weak to stem the tears…

Now we fight our fucking demons…
And we struggle through each long day…

We pretend that we’re all perfect…
We make believe everything is OK…

But we’re repressing all our emotions…
We’re hid behind our clever disguise…

We’ll never articulate our true feelings…
In the hope “THEY” never realise…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song :”When We Were Young” by Passenger – for Lorana http://www.loranamusic.com/

 

 

 

Mask Slip…

~

What do you see…
When you’re staring at me…
Are the cracks beginning to show…

Can you see through and behind…
When I’m acting cruel and unkind…
What do you really want to know…

Where my minds at…
With whom I’ve been sat…
How I’ve spent my dough…

Who I’ve been with…
In the world where I live…
Whose cheeks I’ve given afterglow…

What I’ve been saying…
Those games I’ve been playing…
What feelings are beginning to grow…

Could you handle the words…
If I sang like the birds…
Mask to slip; truth to flow…

If I twisted the knife…
If I ruined your life…
Told you all about Moscow…

The things that we did…
The pleasure I’ve hid…
Basking in Lust’s dark shadow…

How different it feels…
How much it appeals…
Chains, whips and pussy willow…

Yet it’s not what you seek…
Not this time; not this week…
But one day my guilt will show…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song :”Where Did I Go” by Justin Currie

 

Vanished…

hojqg

~

When I close my eyes…
And I give into sleep…

The dreams have gone…
It’s black and it’s bleak…

The visions that haunted…
Are no longer there…

The curve of her body…
Her temptress stare…

The way that she moved…
Waltzing round my head…

Have been extracted…
It’s like I am dead…

With my body floating…
On a huge silent ocean…

Alone in the darkness…
Devoid of all emotion…

Pondering the wherefore…
Questioning the why…

Calling out her name…
Into a black starless sky…

Unable to recall her…
The features of her face…

What was once so vivid…
Vanished without a trace…

The feelings she ignited…
The electricity she sparked…

Are dim distant memories…
Held in a grave unmarked…

Leaving a hole in the void…
A lingering sense of loss…

And a stark realisation…
That behind her lip-gloss…

Was a chance to feel alive…
And dance with the Devil…

Live life on the wild side…
Descend to a different level…

But she came and she went…
Like a freak lightning bolt…

Engulfing me in blackness…
Lacing my wounds with salt…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “On The Level” by Leonard Cohen

Eye Will Not Cry – Update…

Dear Friends

Please note that this blog address has changed to http://www.eyewillnotcry.com

Could I please ask regular readers to update any links you mave have to reflect this (though I am told old ones will be redirected)

Having upgraded with WordPress, this will also mean you can read content in these pages Ad free

Well, with the exception of a quick plug for the book!

ANY profit from this or any other book I self publish will be donated at the end of each year to:

  Doctors Without Borders

hf

Eye Will Not Cry – Volume One is available from this link: BUY THE BOOK AND SUPPORT THE PROJECT HERE

If you can share this with your blog and on social media, that would be appreciated.

Cheers

J

Breaking Ties…

Please welcome Jessie as my latest Guest Poet!

You can read more of Jessie’s work here: https://redstringpapercuts.com/

If you would like to be a Guest Poet, please email your words to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk

Cheers

hrw[

One Last Too Much

Say your farewells, your good lucks, and goodbyes
A chime of glasses kissing, arms wrapped in tight embrace
One last public gesture in the race against inevitabilities.
Going through the expected motions, a strong facade
Of ‘I’m happy for you’ and “we’ll keep in touch”.

No we won’t.

You’ll be busy. I’ll be distant.
You’ll be moving on. I’ll be standing still.
Too much history to erase, but that doesn’t mean
The story must go on.
Maybe the curtain has fallen,
After the wooden hook took me away.
I never did quite fit in,
Where you cast me in your life’s play.

Say your good intentions, your practiced lines, and rehearsed promises.
A caricature of friendship and clean slates.
One last time in the scene we always act out.
A dance we have memorized, a tattered pretence
Of ‘acceptable closeness’ and “good friends”.

No we weren’t.

You’ll be my never. I’ll be your what if.
You’ll be settled. I’ll be restless.
Too much secrecy to reveal, but that doesn’t mean
I want to keep lying.
Maybe these are our end credits,
And the screen is fading to black.
I never did quite manage
To mask how I felt anyway.

Charity Book Project: Eye Will Not Cry – Volume One

Dear Friends

It is with great pleasure, but a sense of trepidation that I am able to offer you some of my writings in book form!

This is the end of a very long road to get to this point, but the beginning a charity project that will benefit:

hgoihf

ALL profit from this or any other book I self publish will be donated at the end of each year to this cause.

You can read more about them here:  Doctors Without Borders

hf

Eye Will Not Cry – Volume One is available from this link: BUY THE BOOK AND SUPPORT THE PROJECT HERE

You can also access the book from the icon in the sidebar and eventually it will be available from Amazon and other online retailers – however the maximum amount of profit / donation will come via the LULU.COM link. Due to printing costs, 5 GBP of each book sold will go direct to the charity.

The next 2 volumes of Eye Will Not Cry will be available soon and these will be followed by a volume dedicated to all the amazing Guest Poets that I have had – so if you have submitted to me over the last few years, a form will be with you shortly to seek permission and participation!

I really hope that you can support this project, but regardless if you can / can’t, I would like to take this  opportunity to thank you for reading and for your kind words of support over the years I have been part of the WordPress family!

If you can share this with your blog and on social media, that would be appreciated.

Cheers

“I’ve looked at life, from both sides now”…

double_life_by_siudajSTEJ

~

She’s been to dark places…
Where the sun never shines…

And the sky is covered over…
By the blackness in her mind…

She’s enjoyed evil thoughts…
Matched by her actions…

She’s hurt those around…
Whilst seeking some distraction…

She’s a version of another…
The person no one else sees…

Like a stealthy secret agent…
A double life she leads…

Taking risks with her life…
Gently loving, yet deceiving…

In the search of something…
To keep her believing…

That there is more to life…
That a truth will be found…

To assist her find the peace…
So she can sleep sound…

And switch off the visions…
That race through her head…

And mute all the voices…
Wishing she’d not said…

Words of bitter cruelty…
The words of pure hate…

Words she can’t take back…
And that didn’t translate…

Into how she’s feeling…
Because she can’t articulate…

The pain that surrounds her…
She fears it’s much too late…

To resolve this situation…
Or ever reclaim her soul…

That’s inked with her crimes…
Now out of all control…

As she sits in dark places…
Where the sun never shines…

And the sky is covered over…
By the black clouds in her mind…

~

“And I’m feeling my way through the dark”…

Please welcome Annie for tonight’s Guest Poet slot.

You can read more of Annie’s fantastic work here: http://gentlementalannie.com/

If you want a guest poet slot, please email eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk

Cheers

woman

Walking Alone Through the Darkness

Walking alone through the darkened streets
No hand to hold mine for company
In the past my hand did not swing freely
It was always grasped by another

There have been many hands that I have held
At the time they made me feel less alone
But when they suddenly let go…
I felt more alone than before

I wished I had never touched them, caressed them
Allowed them to guide me into darker streets
But my hand swings freely tonight
In the dim illumination of a distant street light

I am walking on this particular street because
One of the hands guided me here
Into the darkened alley with no lamp posts
Promising they would not leave me

But I walk on my own with less fear
Than when the last hand was here
It seems like a backwards tale to tell
Of loving another who put you in Hell

Now I can touch and hold what I choose
My hand is not owned by any other
I can guide my own feet by the light in the distance
It gets a little brighter as I follow its guide

“Hello darkness my old friend”…

Please welcome Mary for tonight’s guest poet slot – you can read more of Mary’s “epic” work here:

https://theheartofsassylassie.wordpress.com/about/

If you want a guest poet slot, you know what to do! Drop me a line to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk
Cheers
J

dark f

Yeah, I remember you and all your lies
You’re the one who put that crazy ass look in my eyes
You filled me full of ‘I’m the one they all want to love’
I believed you, too, I think everyone does

So you’re back and banging at my door
Why? Think I’m still gonna want to be your whore?
You do look tempting, I gotta say
You seduce so easily and I so want to play

What will you do to entice me this time?
Fill my head full of ‘c’mon let’s just dance one more time?’
Cop some drugs and party from dusk til dawn?
To find my tarnished tiara and you with it gone?

You’re such a con, a master manipulator
A sorcerer, spell caster, an evil articulator
You’re so arrogant thinking you can come around when you want
I’m strong now, I’m whole now, but damn your eyes taunt

What spell have you cast to so easily tempt me?
You know there’s a part of me desolate and empty
That I would take anything over nothing, even you
Fuck, get away, wait let me just grab my shoes

One more you say? Just one more dance, right?
Where, oh I know, that culty club we so liked
Only the best dressed and best drugged allowed
You know to take me, I stand out in that crowd

While the other peasants strain just to get a glimpse
Into where the stars go, the whores and their pimps
Oh, wait, that’s not us, those days are long gone
Of course, you assure, pick a pill, grab the bong

Let’s dance like we said, raise the roof, snort a line
You tell me they all want me, I should know I’m damn fine
You watch me seduce them with this body so sweet
They writhe in a lather and gather at my feet

Oh, how I’ve missed you, why did you leave me for so long
I’m never myself unless you come along
More shots, more smoke, more lines, more dancing
They’re all where I want them, drooling and panting

God, they’re so pitiful, pathetic, lost like a kitten
I’m a Goddess, you told me, so bow and be smitten
Let me walk on your backs on my way up the ladder
To the sky, to the clouds, where emotions don’t matter

God, we used to have so much fun you and I
But there were those three times that I did almost die
What’s that you say, it was just a big misunderstanding?
You had to leave, someone else needed you and hey, I’m still standing

You hated my crying and churning up all those issues
You had your hands full handing me ultimatums and tissues
I’d put on my armor, my make-up and lashes
You wink and it melts me, my sanity crashes

We’d fuck up and wake up and snort up and repeat
Count every lifetime with our dead-end heartbeats
We were all the right places at just the right times
All eyes were upon us, tripping the light sublime

And then you were gone and left no forwarding address
I tossed my heart in the wash and hit Permanent Press
There’s been some mistake, you wouldn’t leave me behind
But you did with no money, no drugs, just your stench of stale wine

I went back to those places you and I once haunted
I’m a Queen, can’t you see that, I’m adored and so wanted
The sting of the doors slamming shut in my face
Made me realize without you I had fallen from Grace

I picked up my tutu, my fairy dust and wings
They were broken as I was and fuck that fall stings
Someone must have scraped me up off the ground
I was trapped in a psych ward when I finally came around

Yeah, you know those stories of restraints and white coats
You have to choke your way through the truth caught in your throat
Yes doctor, no doctor, yes I’m confident I’m ready
Thank God he can’t see you there with cocaine and confetti

Yes, I assure you it will never happen, I’ve seen the bright light
Yes, I’ll take all those pills you prescribed me at night
No, I won’t see those people, I know they’re all “plastic”
That term, doc, I love it, you truly are fantastic!!

I’m out now, I can’t see you, have I finally won?
My wings can expand now I’ll take flight toward the sun
Fuck you, you bastard, don’t ever darken my door
You may still be a pimp but I’m nobody’s whore

I’m straight now, I’m happy, it takes just a few meds
To keep me from putting a gun to my head
I’m fine on my own, I don’t need those hiding places
But I still carry your collection of my secret faces

I even found love and got married once or twice
But you took the best of me with you when you left me that night
No one compares, no one can pulse fast through my veins
You’re the only one brave enough to let me off of my reins

Funny, I haven’t really thought of you in years
The first few spirals were hard even worse than I feared
Family? Friends? No, no way, I’m too “flighty”
They say I can only be saved by that dude, the Almighty

Well fuck them, fuck me, fuck you and your seduction
I’ve learned how to fake it, keep it together, no disruption
It’s boring, it’s drab, like those peasants we laughed at
So “normal” and “she seems fine now” no more “crazy chit chat”

So I’m telling you, feel it, this time I really mean it
I’m so done with you, I’ve had you, we’ve been there and seen it
What more could you want, you took the very light from my eyes
My soul, my heart, you unveiled my disguise

What’s that you’re whispering, come closer you say?
Which hand is it in? I don’t fucking care, go away
Right or left? It’s a simple question, aww come on take a guess
Nope! I’m not playing, not again…….

Wait, the left???

“Maybe the day will come, when you never have to feel no pain”…

ess7635b1

~

He stares at the sky…
On a dark starry night

A simple reminder…
Of his insignificant plight…

That he is so small…
This tiny little dot…

And in the bigger picture…
His life matters not…

Just a piece of dust…
A miniscule speck…

Wandering this planet…
His mind a total wreck…

Driven to insanity…
Within the madness of it all…

As the heights he once scaled…
Became the distance he’d fall…

His life unravelling around him…
With Karma taking its grip…

Tearing apart his reality…
Lashing him with a whip…

Dragging him into Hell…
Submerging him in darkness…

Where everything he loved…
Became tainted with a sadness…

And forced him to face…
The things he had done…

Replaying every action…
Rewinding each sinful one…

Opening up his eyes…
To all of his selfish actions…

The hurt he had caused…
By chasing cheap distractions…

And submerging himself…
In the feeling they gave…

But he wasn’t invincible…
And now he tries to save…

His soul and his mind…
From being ripped apart…

Wishing he could simply…
Just return to the start…

~

Fantastic art work by Tabitha Mix over at http://tabithamixblog.wordpress.com/