If you would like to be a Guest Poet, please email your words to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk
Cheers
One Last Too Much
Say your farewells, your good lucks, and goodbyes
A chime of glasses kissing, arms wrapped in tight embrace
One last public gesture in the race against inevitabilities.
Going through the expected motions, a strong facade
Of ‘I’m happy for you’ and “we’ll keep in touch”.
No we won’t.
You’ll be busy. I’ll be distant.
You’ll be moving on. I’ll be standing still.
Too much history to erase, but that doesn’t mean
The story must go on.
Maybe the curtain has fallen,
After the wooden hook took me away.
I never did quite fit in,
Where you cast me in your life’s play.
Say your good intentions, your practiced lines, and rehearsed promises.
A caricature of friendship and clean slates.
One last time in the scene we always act out.
A dance we have memorized, a tattered pretence
Of ‘acceptable closeness’ and “good friends”.
No we weren’t.
You’ll be my never. I’ll be your what if.
You’ll be settled. I’ll be restless.
Too much secrecy to reveal, but that doesn’t mean
I want to keep lying.
Maybe these are our end credits,
And the screen is fading to black.
I never did quite manage
To mask how I felt anyway.
You can also access the book from the icon in the sidebar and eventually it will be available from Amazon and other online retailers – however the maximum amount of profit / donation will come via the LULU.COM link. Due to printing costs, 5 GBP of each book sold will go direct to the charity.
The next 2 volumes of Eye Will Not Cry will be available soon and these will be followed by a volume dedicated to all the amazing Guest Poets that I have had – so if you have submitted to me over the last few years, a form will be with you shortly to seek permission and participation!
I really hope that you can support this project, but regardless if you can / can’t, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you for reading and for your kind words of support over the years I have been part of the WordPress family!
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If you want a guest poet slot, please email eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk
Cheers
Walking Alone Through the Darkness
Walking alone through the darkened streets
No hand to hold mine for company
In the past my hand did not swing freely
It was always grasped by another
There have been many hands that I have held
At the time they made me feel less alone
But when they suddenly let go…
I felt more alone than before
I wished I had never touched them, caressed them
Allowed them to guide me into darker streets
But my hand swings freely tonight
In the dim illumination of a distant street light
I am walking on this particular street because
One of the hands guided me here
Into the darkened alley with no lamp posts
Promising they would not leave me
But I walk on my own with less fear
Than when the last hand was here
It seems like a backwards tale to tell
Of loving another who put you in Hell
Now I can touch and hold what I choose
My hand is not owned by any other
I can guide my own feet by the light in the distance
It gets a little brighter as I follow its guide
If you want a guest poet slot, you know what to do! Drop me a line to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk
Cheers
J
Yeah, I remember you and all your lies
You’re the one who put that crazy ass look in my eyes
You filled me full of ‘I’m the one they all want to love’
I believed you, too, I think everyone does
So you’re back and banging at my door
Why? Think I’m still gonna want to be your whore?
You do look tempting, I gotta say
You seduce so easily and I so want to play
What will you do to entice me this time?
Fill my head full of ‘c’mon let’s just dance one more time?’
Cop some drugs and party from dusk til dawn?
To find my tarnished tiara and you with it gone?
You’re such a con, a master manipulator
A sorcerer, spell caster, an evil articulator
You’re so arrogant thinking you can come around when you want
I’m strong now, I’m whole now, but damn your eyes taunt
What spell have you cast to so easily tempt me?
You know there’s a part of me desolate and empty
That I would take anything over nothing, even you
Fuck, get away, wait let me just grab my shoes
One more you say? Just one more dance, right?
Where, oh I know, that culty club we so liked
Only the best dressed and best drugged allowed
You know to take me, I stand out in that crowd
While the other peasants strain just to get a glimpse
Into where the stars go, the whores and their pimps
Oh, wait, that’s not us, those days are long gone
Of course, you assure, pick a pill, grab the bong
Let’s dance like we said, raise the roof, snort a line
You tell me they all want me, I should know I’m damn fine
You watch me seduce them with this body so sweet
They writhe in a lather and gather at my feet
Oh, how I’ve missed you, why did you leave me for so long
I’m never myself unless you come along
More shots, more smoke, more lines, more dancing
They’re all where I want them, drooling and panting
God, they’re so pitiful, pathetic, lost like a kitten
I’m a Goddess, you told me, so bow and be smitten
Let me walk on your backs on my way up the ladder
To the sky, to the clouds, where emotions don’t matter
God, we used to have so much fun you and I
But there were those three times that I did almost die
What’s that you say, it was just a big misunderstanding?
You had to leave, someone else needed you and hey, I’m still standing
You hated my crying and churning up all those issues
You had your hands full handing me ultimatums and tissues
I’d put on my armor, my make-up and lashes
You wink and it melts me, my sanity crashes
We’d fuck up and wake up and snort up and repeat
Count every lifetime with our dead-end heartbeats
We were all the right places at just the right times
All eyes were upon us, tripping the light sublime
And then you were gone and left no forwarding address
I tossed my heart in the wash and hit Permanent Press
There’s been some mistake, you wouldn’t leave me behind
But you did with no money, no drugs, just your stench of stale wine
I went back to those places you and I once haunted
I’m a Queen, can’t you see that, I’m adored and so wanted
The sting of the doors slamming shut in my face
Made me realize without you I had fallen from Grace
I picked up my tutu, my fairy dust and wings
They were broken as I was and fuck that fall stings
Someone must have scraped me up off the ground
I was trapped in a psych ward when I finally came around
Yeah, you know those stories of restraints and white coats
You have to choke your way through the truth caught in your throat
Yes doctor, no doctor, yes I’m confident I’m ready
Thank God he can’t see you there with cocaine and confetti
Yes, I assure you it will never happen, I’ve seen the bright light
Yes, I’ll take all those pills you prescribed me at night
No, I won’t see those people, I know they’re all “plastic”
That term, doc, I love it, you truly are fantastic!!
I’m out now, I can’t see you, have I finally won?
My wings can expand now I’ll take flight toward the sun
Fuck you, you bastard, don’t ever darken my door
You may still be a pimp but I’m nobody’s whore
I’m straight now, I’m happy, it takes just a few meds
To keep me from putting a gun to my head
I’m fine on my own, I don’t need those hiding places
But I still carry your collection of my secret faces
I even found love and got married once or twice
But you took the best of me with you when you left me that night
No one compares, no one can pulse fast through my veins
You’re the only one brave enough to let me off of my reins
Funny, I haven’t really thought of you in years
The first few spirals were hard even worse than I feared
Family? Friends? No, no way, I’m too “flighty”
They say I can only be saved by that dude, the Almighty
Well fuck them, fuck me, fuck you and your seduction
I’ve learned how to fake it, keep it together, no disruption
It’s boring, it’s drab, like those peasants we laughed at
So “normal” and “she seems fine now” no more “crazy chit chat”
So I’m telling you, feel it, this time I really mean it
I’m so done with you, I’ve had you, we’ve been there and seen it
What more could you want, you took the very light from my eyes
My soul, my heart, you unveiled my disguise
What’s that you’re whispering, come closer you say?
Which hand is it in? I don’t fucking care, go away
Right or left? It’s a simple question, aww come on take a guess
Nope! I’m not playing, not again…….
