The Darkness…

jafsda

~

There’s a darkness that runs…
Through each memory…

A numbness that blunts…
All the pictures she sees…

Moments carefully captured…
Times that were shared…

But the sadness behind them…
No one could be aware…

As the version presented…
Hides the true horror story…

The day to day reality…
Hides in her untold history…

As nobody really knew…
And no one really saw…

The monster he became…
The viciousness in his claw…

As he hid it so well…
He turned on the charm…

Dazzled those around him…
Whilst he inflicted the harm…

Behind closed, locked doors…
There was agony and pain…

He left unseen bruises…
And scars just the same…

He reigned in pure terror…
Silenced any form of dissent…

With a violence erupting…
From that mild mannered gent…

He was both Jekyll and Hyde…
She could never escape…

And she paid so dearly…
For each and every mistake…

When she spoke out of line…
When she acted out of turn…

A low punch was punishment…
Or a well hidden cigarette burn…

And when he finally passed…
His ghost still remained…

Now any photo she sees…
Brings back all her pain

~

 

“I can’t stand to see, you look at me in that way”…

girld

~

I know all is lost…
I know you are gone…

I know what I did…
I know I was wrong…

I made a mistake…
I abused all your trust…

I destroyed what we had…
I feel only disgust…

I have no excuses…
I just can’t explain…

I can’t make this right…
I can’t ease your pain…

I can’t change the past…
I can’t press reset…

I play it over and over…
I’m filled with regret…

I can no longer sleep…
I can’t seem to cope…

I’ve no way forward…
I’m lost in the smoke…

I’m not asking for pity…
I don’t want sympathy…

I just need you to know…
I wasn’t the real me…

I projected my anger…
I’m responsible for the act…

I wish I could rewind…
I wish I could go back…

I never meant to hurt you…
I never meant to cause harm…

I just wanted you to listen…
I needed to raise the alarm…

I couldn’t find the words…
I couldn’t articulate…

I didn’t think about it…
I acted in such haste…

I let my fists speak…
I broke all the rules…

Eye made you cry…
I’m such a fool…

I am sorry…

~

 

“If a child, a child cries would you not forgive them”…

girl

~

Tuesday’s child…
Was mild and meek…

Had a sweet voice…
But dare not speak…

In fear of being…
Pushed away…

Or being punished…
Fading to grey…

Trying to avoid…
That cruel back hand…

Which demanded obedience…
And burned like a brand…

To be seen not heard…
Were words to live by…

Survival of the fittest…
“Eye Will Not Cry”

Dodging verbal bullets…
Living with the abuse…

Never getting it right…
Covering each bruise…

Counting down the hours…
Waiting for the day…

That escape to freedom…
Would finally pave the way…

To a new existence…
One without any fear…

One without the pain…
One without the sneers…

That kept on coming…
No matter right or wrong…

As each furious beating…
Dispelled the need to belong…

Until the day it happened…
The abuse became too much…

A desire for self-preservation…
Led to a retaliatory punch…

The abuser losing footing…
Falling down the stairs…

And the key to freedom…
Was contained in a lifeless stare…

~

“They say I’m mental, but I’ve been abused”…

door

~

He walked up the steps…
And stumbled inside…

Into the room at the top…
Where the memory resides…

Of his pure innocence…
Cruelly ripped away…

On a dark summer night…
After a long hot day…

It’d started so brightly…
Filled with endless love…

No hint of the evil…
Descending from above…

In that room as he slept…
And was quietly woken…

Subjected to such horrors…
That left him just broken…

Unable to speak…
And unable to smile…

It scarred him forever…
His soul in exile…

Never spoken about since…
Kept in secret & silence…

In fear that speaking out…
May lead to violence…

So it was locked away…
In a box labelled shame…

Forgetting the horror…
Never speaking its name…

Moving on with his life…
Smoothing out its creases…

Trying to live with it…
And pick up the pieces…

But now he is back…
After all those years…

Stood in that room…
Holding back the tears…

With a knife in his hand…
It’s time to submit…

Switch off his pain…
And finally end it…

~