“She’ll come slowly rising, on the air”…

fr

~

She found the letter…
And read the words…

She fell to the ground…
Her cry scattered the birds…

She laid there in shock…
Just couldn’t take it all in…

She didn’t know what to do…
Didn’t know where to begin…

She was enveloped in sadness…
Became shrouded in black…

She couldn’t ever accept…
He was never coming back…

She became so isolated…
Felt so goddamned trapped…

She was blinded by the pain…
Knew she would never adapt…

She loved him so much…
But felt so empty inside…

She craved his smell…
Needed his hand to guide…

She felt so alone…
Like life had no meaning…

She became a shadow…
Only seen in the evening…

She could not see…
Knew the silence would last…

She couldn’t move on…
Was entombed in the past…

She had believed in forever…
And dreamt of growing old…

She could not cope…
As depression took hold…

She lost the will to live…
And decided to get out…

She swallowed the pills…
Without hesitation or doubt…

Then she found him again…
As he sat waiting for her…

The couple finally reunited…
In Death’s cold, hazy blur…

~

“At nights I’ve heard him screaming, through the candle flame”…

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~

There’s no one he can trust…
With his darkest desires…

His deepest black secrets…
And most intimate fires…

Nobody in his circle…
Not his friends or family…

Or acquaintances he’s met…
They’ll never be allowed to see…

The secret that he’s hiding…
The one he’s locked away…

A shameful side of his life…
He can’t bring himself to say…

Or tell the ones who know him…
Who love him for what he is…

Trouble would only follow…
If they knew this monster exists…

So he keeps it in the shadow…
Carries it wherever he goes…

Covers up his wicked sins…
Knows no one must ever know…

That his life is tainted…
By the death of innocent souls…

As a compelling thirst for blood…
Is needed to make his life whole…

A craving that’s stranger than fiction…
An obsession that’s out of control…

He finds it all much too easy…
He breathes in each departing soul…

A serial killer, this repeat offender…
Knows how to keep out of sight…

Perfected the art of misdirection…
Constantly staying out of the light…

Who could he ever confess to…
And who would ever believe…

That this elegant man is a killer…
Who spends his life trying to deceive…

And charm all who meet him…
Into believing he’s a trustful man…

But nothing’s further from the truth…
He’d strangle them with bare hands…

The only person he tried to tell…
Simply laughed into his face…

Told him not to be so stupid…
Before disappearing without a trace…

There’s no one he’d ever trust…
So he tends to simply mislead…

Commit his crimes in secret…
And smile as they scream and bleed…

~

“Like a stormy sky, it’s a sad song”…

5

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

~

Maybe she just didn’t love you…

Maybe it was never meant to be…

Maybe she gave you every chance…

Maybe you just couldn’t see…

Maybe on some deep level…

Maybe she just didn’t connect…

Maybe you were both at fault…

Maybe now’s the time to forget…

Maybe you’ll learn from this lesson…

Maybe, but then again, maybe not…

Maybe that’s the way it goes…

Maybe you simply deserved all you got…

Maybe you can live with the regret…

Maybe you will accept this price…

Maybe someday you’ll ask forgiveness…

Maybe next time, you’ll think twice…

Maybe there was a reason…

Maybe you should try to find…

Maybe it’s right before you…

Maybe that’s why she was unkind…

Maybe she had every right…

Maybe it was all your fault…

Maybe she just retaliated…

Maybe in your wound, she rubbed salt…

Maybe that will make you think…

Maybe you should do all you can…

Maybe you will live life differently…

Maybe try to be a better man…

Maybe in another life…

Maybe you’ll meet her again…

Maybe then you’ll be better placed…

Maybe you will avoid further pain…

~

“Trusting in the fire while the cruel flame burns”…

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~

Please, please persuade me…
Gently twist my arm…
Go on make me do it…
Can’t do any harm…

Softly say it to me…
Get inside my head…
Distort my blurred reality…
I’m just so easily led…

Am open to the thrill of it…
Just need a subtle push…
Down the dark garden path…
Behind that leafy bush…

Where no one else can see…
Or will ever know…
The secrets and the lies…
Within the sinful shadow…

Order me to do it…
Be so fucking forceful…
Make me trust and obey you…
You push, I promise I’ll pull…

Bind my slender wrists…
Blind my deceitful eyes…
Use your sharpened nails…
Take me by utter surprise…

Leave a lasting imprint…
Tattoo it on my soul…
Be the twisted lightning…
In life’s fucked up Black hole…

Be my forbidden distraction…
An oasis in the dark…
A secret only we can trust…
The place my guilt can park…

Fuel my very destruction…
So intense and so reckless…
It’s absorbing my very soul…
Hung on your entangled necklace…

Please will you persuade me…
You alone own the key…
I know you want to do it…
Just force me to my knees…

~

“Dust to dust and fire to ashes”…

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~

Is he asleep…
Or is he awake…
Is this a dream…
And his reality fake…

Nothing makes sense…
His thoughts conflict…
Everything he’s touched…
Has just fallen to bits…

A mental disaster…
All of his making…
His head of confusion…
Leaves him stood shaking…

Afraid of his memories…
Regretting sinful desires…
He knows he’ll end up…
In Hell’s emotional fires…

On a one way ticket…
There will be no return…
He will be consumed…
Aware his soul will burn…

He doesn’t know when…
And he doesn’t know where…
So he stumbles through life…
Blinded by his despair…

As he’s stuck in a moment…
One fragment of time…
Replayed over and over…
But he can never rewind…

He can’t repair the damage…
Or pretend it’s not real…
All that’s been done…
Time just refuses to heal…

The hand that grabbed her…
By her slender throat…
Till her lifeless body…
Began to silently float…

Now she’s asleep…
And will never awake…
Her never ending dream…
His one big mistake…

~

“Like a stormy sky, it’s a sad song”…

5

~

Maybe she just didn’t love you…

Maybe it was never meant to be…

Maybe she gave you every chance…

Maybe you just couldn’t see…

Maybe on some deep level…

Maybe she just didn’t connect…

Maybe that was both your fault…

Maybe now’s the time to forget…

Maybe you will learn from this lesson…

Maybe, but then again, maybe not…

Maybe that’s the way it goes…

Maybe you simply deserved all you got…

Maybe you can live with this regret…

Maybe you will accept this price…

Maybe someday you’ll ask forgiveness…

Maybe next time, you’ll think twice…

Maybe in another life…

Maybe you’ll meet her again…

Maybe you’d be better placed…

Maybe she’d avoid causing you pain…

Maybe there is a reason…

Maybe you should try to find…

Maybe it’s right before you…

Maybe that’s why she was so unkind…

Maybe she had every right…

Maybe it was all your fault…

Maybe she just retaliated…

Maybe in your wound, she rubbed salt…

Maybe that will make you think…

Maybe you should do all you can…

Maybe you will live life differently…

Maybe try to be a better man…

~

“Like a stormy sky, it’s a sad song”…

5

~

Maybe I just didn’t love you…

Maybe it was never meant to be…

Maybe I gave you every chance…

Maybe you just weren’t for me…

Maybe on some deep level…

Maybe we just didn’t connect…

Maybe that was both our fault…

Maybe now’s the time to forget…

Maybe I will learn from this lesson…

Maybe, but then again, maybe not…

Maybe that’s the way it goes…

Maybe I simply deserved all I got…

Maybe I can live with this regret…

Maybe I will accept this price…

Maybe someday I’ll ask forgiveness…

Maybe next time, I’ll think twice…

Maybe in another life…

Maybe we’ll meet again…

Maybe I’d be better placed…

Maybe we’d avoid any pain…

Maybe there is a reason…

Maybe I should try to find…

Maybe it’s right before me…

Maybe that’s why you were so unkind…

Maybe you had every reason…

Maybe it was all my fault…

Maybe you just retaliated…

Maybe in my wound, you put salt…

Maybe that will make me think…

Maybe I should do all I can…

Maybe I could live life differently…

Maybe I should try to be, a better man…

~

“A message in the evening sky”…

heic0506a-web

~

If he told her the truth…
About how he felt…
Ripped open his heart…
Explained the hand he’d been dealt…
If he gave her the feelings…
That flowed through his veins…
And tried to show her…
The visions inside his brain…

If he just opened up…
Told her everything…
Unlocked all his boxes…
And offered to do anything…
Perhaps found the words…
That she needed to hear…
Maybe showed her a future…
Without any fear…

If he tried his best…
To understand what she wants…
And if he spoke honestly…
About how she haunts…
His days and his nights…
His real feelings for her…
That he has to hide…
Because realities twist and blur…
 
If he told her that…
His head spins so fast…
Whenever she is near…
And he wants that to last…
If he told her that…
He shakes sometimes…
As she holds his cold hand…
Even though it’s a crime…
 
If he told her that…
She is maybe warming his heart…
That he thinks of her…
Whilst they are so far apart…
And if he said he was sorry…
For being so weak…
For being a coward…
For being unable to speak…
 
In the midst of her beauty…
Simply in awe of her brains…
Because stood next to her…
He feels so very plain…
And if he took the time…
To tell her all this…
Then told her straight…
That he longs for her kiss…
 
Would she listen…
Find it in her heart…
To forgive all his faults…
Begin again from the start…
And understand that fate…
Is out of his tied hands…
And if things could be different…
He’d undo time and its sands…
 
Would she then be willing…
To give him a chance…
Remember the good times…
Perhaps have one last dance…
Because that poor boy…
Is no longer sure what to do…
But is sure of one thing…
He’ll never mean to hurt you…

~

“I found myself in Silver dreams”…

I am humbled to have been nominated for The Blog of the Year Award 2013*

by my friend: http://emma1951.wordpress.com/

~

Over at Forever After…

She sits and she writes…

And expresses so much…

She illuminates the night…

With vivid poems…

And creative thinking…

She lights up your dark…

Prevents your heart from sinking…

She writes the Letters…

Each line making you wonder…

Laced with pure emotion…

And fuses honesty with thunder…

So many twists, so many turns…

This writer keeps you guessing…

Within the High Five…

Each sentence a blessing…

It’s her world and you are welcome…

She’s minimalist and economical…

So go find your own connection…

As I think she’s wonderful…

~

* Sorry – never was good with rules…



“Smoke drifting up to the Dizzy Heights”…

Subjective, Seductive and Emotional…

One of the great things about having a blog, is to be able to share my thoughts, words and passion with people. Cyber people, strangers and people I have never met but still give me a sense of welcoming and community.

In this place, people accept me, with no questions asked. I can write from wherever the muse guides me and I can subject and project you to infinite versions of myself that you are never going to meet – even if I knew you in real life.

It’s a life with no judgement and a reality that requires no explanation.  I write, you like, you comment, or you don’t – it is as simple as that. On a good day, I hope I make people feel as I do, thrilled to be here – on a bad day, I just throw shit out there and see what sticks.

However, my bad days are always turned around by a kind comment or two, which strokes my ego or validates what I do. Like most who write, there are no amount of good comments that will make me view my words as anything other than just OK rambles.

I write for distraction. I write because at some point in my life, I realised just how much an effect words have had on my life journey thus far. Not just words, but music as well. That Devilish combination of killer lyrics and a haunting melody – I am jealous of anyone who can do it. Singer songwriter is really where it’s at.

Well, that and a hot looking guitar playing chick as per yesterday’s clip. But anyway, I digress. Where was I – yes, music. Subjective, seductive and emotional. Heals the soul they say. I agree. Not all music, but good music. Definition of “good” music – simply anything you find a connection with in my humble opinion.

It took me a long time in my life to realise the significance of those connections we make to songs. It took me a long time to appreciate that we could all listen to a song and not all connect in the same way. It took me a long time to realise that some people didn’t connect with a song I liked at all.

So I arrived late at the “growing up” party and I am not sure I can even claim to have got through the door yet. I now realise that not everyone shares my tastes, but I can still share my music tastes – only now with no expectations.

Over the course of these – wow – 278 posts, I have shared music with strangers. Some of the songs on here are deeply personal. Some so personal, even the connection to the words has had to be blurred or constructed in some way to not let even you, dear strangers see.

However, you will have noted that there is a central theme to the music choices and that is a singer songwriter from New Zealand called Neil Finn. Through Split Enz, Crowded House, The Finn Brothers, Pajama Club and solo work and for most of my life, he has been with me.

His words have soothed, comforted, inspired, and healed. Neil Finn has given me more in this world than many people I know. His music infected me at a young age and when the choice of the day was so much cooler, Finn and his band mates were taking residence in my soul.

Over the years and through my life’s challenges, his music has been the one constant I turn to. There has been a song for all occasions and there have been times when I unashamedly admit I clung onto his words as if they were a life raft. This last 18 month period that saw my father pass and some spectacular karma rain down upon me especially.

His live shows have the canny knack of making me feel alive. His mixture of charm, wit and kindness keep me coming back for more. Too many, today I was challenged to admit how many times I have seen him and I uttered a number in public – it was worth the shock value to see their faces alone.

Within the heady mix of live shows, come the Frenz community. The familiar faces that once were strangers. The people who it takes a while to get to know, starting with a nod and a recognition and then moving on to sharing stories, before becoming acquaintances and ending up a Frenz.

People who – a bit like here – just take you for what you are, no questions asked, no answers sought, but brought together by a common bond of love for artist and music. It’s not religion and it’s not a cult, but it has the feeling of something magical and one that elevates the soul.

Next week in London, I am drawn again. Neil Finn has a new CD out in February called “Dizzy Heights” and you have already heard two tracks on this blog. A third is below. If you so wish, you can consider to pre-order Neil Finn’s CD here – http://neilfinn.com/

Neil is bringing the string section to London led by Victoria Kelly – this is her blog  – http://victoriakellymusic.com/ and Victoria features on the below clip from a webcast the other week. It will now be my last gig of the year after I had to drop my December trip. But what a way to end the year and surrounded by good Frenz.

So, thanks for sticking by this ramble – I am perhaps still a little jetlagged, feeling in a bit of a reflective mood, but make no apologies other than this bloody youtube clip is out of sync – so please take 5 mins to close your eyes and let this wash over you. Normal service will resume tomorrow! This is “Dizzy Heights” – I hope you enjoy – I hope you find a connection – but the world is still a great place if you don’t and you are welcome here anytime!

Enjoy