“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”…

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~

It’s been over ten years…
She looked almost the same…
He didn’t have the courage…
To even speak her name…
What could he say…
Where would he begin…
So much time has passed…
Since their encounter with sin…
 
Her eyes hadn’t changed…
But the fire had gone…
She was a pale shadow of…
That temptress of wrong…
So he stood and he watched…
Like the coward he is…
Remembering how it ended…
The hurt that still exists…
 
How she lured him in…
And he fell into the trap…
Of no strings liaisons…
How she began to attack…
When he backed away…
Realised it was not right…
She demanded much more…
But he slipped out of sight…
 
And went back to reality…
Leaving her all alone…
But she couldn’t accept it…
Tormented him by phone…
Attacked him for days…
And months through a year…
Before she finally gave in…
And then just disappeared…
 
It’s now ten years later…
They share the same room…
His feelings returned instantly…
Still it felt much too soon…
So he hid in the shadows…
And just watched from afar…
Hoping she didn’t notice…
Or prise open his scars…
 
Because they took so long…
To even begin to heal…
Such was his shame…
He didn’t know how to feel…
So he locked it away…
And moved on with his life…
Swearing never again…
To dance with lust’s knife…

~

“It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this”…

~

It’s been over ten years…
She looked almost the same…
He didn’t have the courage…
To even speak her name…
What could he say…
Where would he begin…
So much time has passed…
Since their encounter with sin…
 
Her eyes hadn’t changed…
But the fire had gone…
She was a pale shadow of…
That temptress of wrong…
So he stood and he watched…
Like the coward he is…
Remembering how it ended…
The hurt that still exists…
 
How she lured him in…
And he fell into the trap…
Of no strings liaisons…
How she began to attack…
When he backed away…
Realised it was not right…
She demanded much more…
But he slipped out of sight…
 
And went back to reality…
Leaving her all alone…
But she couldn’t accept it…
Tormented him by phone…
Attacked him for days…
And months through a year…
Before she finally gave in…
And then just disappeared…
 
It’s now ten years later…
They share the same room…
His feelings returned instantly…
Still it felt much too soon…
So he hid in the shadows…
And just watched from afar…
Hoping she didn’t notice…
Or prise open his scars…
 
Because they took so long…
To even begin to heal…
Such was his shame…
He didn’t know how to feel…
So he locked it away…
And moved on with his life…
Swearing never again…
To dance with lust’s knife…

~

“His woman threw him out in the ice and snow”…

Glastonbury.

* This ramble begins with a heads up – we are all big boys and girls I know, but the youtube link today contains explicit lyrics – please be aware before you click play!

So, there I was, laptop ready and earphones plugged in on a Sunday night and I was transported to Glastonbury thanks to the BBC online facility. Yet I felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness wash over me. Let me try explain, for those who don’t know, Glastonbury is one of the UK’s leading music festivals, but honestly, it is so much more. You can’t really go for the day, for this festival, you have to invest time, money and emotion to really get the best out of it – I have had the good fortune to attend twice, both times arriving on the Thursday morning and leaving on the following Monday afternoon.

My first time was 2004 with friends. I twisted arms and begged them to go and they gave in. Sadly, I got more from the experience than they did, which led to me going solo on the second occasion. Both times were very similar in one respect, in that I arrived to great sunshine, I didn’t take wellies (waterproof boots) and both times, the heavens opened and it just became a total mud bath. Not too much fun when you are wearing a pair of ADIDAS Sambas – schoolboy error on my part, but it didn’t overly detract from the experience, but at the same time, lessons were finally and belatedly learned.

I will never forget the first sight of the “tent city” that lay before me when I entered that first Thursday morning. It really was just awe inspiring. We were lucky to get a great place to pitch tent and from then, it was a vodka fuelled journey into the total unknown. I had heard all the stories, but experiencing it myself for the first time was like an awakening. For the first night, we hung round as a group, but Glastonbury is so big and diverse that we soon parted; only meeting up at certain points to compare notes about what we had seen and what bands we had heard.

So many stalls, events, smells, sights, sounds, it can be quite overwhelming. But it’s at night fall that the place takes on a mystical cloak. The areas within the camp light up and begin to both enchant and entrance you. Nowhere more so than Shangri-La – though I am sure it was called “GlasVegas” back then. For those of you that want to find out more- click here .From a music perspective, I think that first one I went to saw Oasis, Muse, Paul McCartney, Snow Patrol, Franz Ferdinand and The Killers amongst a host of others. I remember being so afraid at first to be within such huge crowds, especially for the headline acts, but soon became accustomed to it.

On my second visit in 2005, I was alone. I couldn’t get anyone to come with me and I did try, but was secretly pleased at the end result. It gave me freedom and wings. It let me do what I wanted, when I wanted and that is really the best way to see Glastonbury. There is a story to tell from my second adventure that included Pete Docherty, Kate Moss, Glenn Tilbrook and a missing mobile phone, but I will save that to some other point in time. It was daft at the time, but looking back, possibly one of those “you had to be there” tales. Again, the rain came, though this time I did queue for boots, only to find they had none in my size once I reached the front! So it was another soggy and muddy trip.

Musically this was much better; The White Stripes were on top form. The Killers had really grown from the last time I saw them and Coldplay – the parts of them I saw – were really good. But it was the other aspects that made the trip better second time. I was more comfortable walking around. I was more daring as to where I went and who I spoke to. I found peace surrounded by all manner of people at midnight in a field overlooking the whole thing and I learned much more about myself in 4 days than I could in a longer time frame anywhere else.

I keep committing to go back, but I keep failing. Money issues, time off work issues, child care issues, all seem to spring up at the wrong time – let alone the hoops you have to jump through to get hold of tickets and then the cost. So now, I watch on TV or online. It’s comfortable, but it’s not the same and the same sadness I felt watching my beloved Crowded House light up Glastonbury in 2008, I felt watching Nick Cave tear up the Pyramid Stage on Sunday night.

However, it has strengthened my resolve, so look out Glastonbury 2014 – One way or another, I’m coming back for visit number 3! Thanks for sticking by another ramble and you are rewarded with the explicit “Stagger Lee” which is spellbinding. It also contains the most surreal moment I think I have seen at a gig, see for yourself and let me know your thoughts on the mystical “Girl in White” near the end – a lucky lass or an amazingly executed plant!

Enjoy

“It is as it is” – For Cancer Research…

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Well…

Not quite sure what to say, but the paperback version of this book of poems is ready to buy earlier than planned! If you click the picture it should take you through to the lulu webpage.

It’s taken a while from concept to delivery, some road humps along the way, but it is not too bad for a first attempt.

All profit from this project will be collated over the next 12 months and donated to Cancer Research.

For your information, the cost to make each book is £4.10, so each purchase will mean a donation of £5.89. I will keep a running total on a fixed page somewhere so you can keep track if you are interested.

A hardback version will follow, but the cost price on that is huge, so I am not sure if there will be much in the way of selling / donations. Time will tell.

When I started this blog, I did it in secret and for the most part, I still do. I wrote and continue to write for therapy under servere pressure, trying to hold my head and my sanity together whilst the world around me fell apart. Watching my Father slip away crowned an amazing 15 month period in my life that couldn’t have been written by the best script writers.

But I am still here, still trying to get through life like we all do – It’s fair to say I have been on the ropes, but not knocked out…

I appreciate that many of you have read my words and have been subjected to my torrid last few months – for that I apologise and thank you in equal measure. Most of you are faceless to me, but you all have a talent in writing and reading others work inspires me to do better and look at my own work through a different lens.

I have had help and encouragement from offline too and they know who they are – so thank you!!

I hope that you are able to donate to this cause, but if not, the poems remain on the site and who knows, a volume 2 may evolve– so thanks again for reading and enjoy.

Cheers

J

“While everyone’s lost, the battle is won”…

It’s the politics of power…
Where pride comes before a fall…
By the day and by the hour…
They daren’t take their eye off the ball…

Their words aim to inspire…
But lead to sheer frustration…
They are building up an empire…
All eyes on world domination…

They decide upon the vision…
Which route you will follow…
No unity, just division…
It’s a bitter pill to swallow…

They’ve failed to communicate…
Whilst trying to be the special one…
They seem to underestimate…
The damage that’s being done…

They are ripping things apart…
And tearing out the soul…
They are stabbing the very heart…
Whilst losing all control…

But the people must now rise…
And begin set themselves free…
It will come as no surprise…
That you need to fight for liberty…

Fight to preserve your right…
Rise up against the machine…
But never ever lose sight…
Of the soldiers standing inbetween…