“Am I being a good boy, am I your pride and joy”…

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~

She’s been dead eight years…
But walks with him each day…

And as he closes his eyes…
He remembers her little ways…

The look she would give…
When she wasn’t impressed…

The things she would do…
To keep his soul oppressed…

Never providing any support…
Or praise when things went right…

Not showing an ounce of love…
It felt like a constant fight…

To gain any of her approval…
That would make him feel secure…

She was always so damn negative…
And it seemed she would ensure…

That he never felt positive…
By projecting her own misery…

Taking the fun out of his life…
If she wasn’t happy, neither was he…

And in her last few days…
She could be so scathing…

So when she finally passed…
He felt so free, so amazing…

Like a weight had been lifted…
Given the chance to escape…

But it didn’t last for long…
As his feelings turned to hate…

When she kept on appearing…
Her bitter voice in his head…

Haunting from the grave…
The ongoing legacy of the dead…

As she’s been dead eight years…
But when he closes his eyes…

She is stood there before him…
Using words to abuse and criticise…

Casting a constant shadow…
On all that he achieves…

And this ongoing mental battle…
Is slowly forcing him to his knees…

~

“I can’t smile without you”…

d-2974

~

She sits all alone…

Remembering the days…

When she felt so safe…

Under his watchful gaze…

Locked in his arms…

Her knight and protector…

He was the only one…

Who made her life better…

And helped her make sense…

Of the world she lived in…

When she wanted to give up…

His words were “keep fighting“…

But since he left her…

It’s been hard to carry on…

Life feels so worthless…

And everything feels so wrong…

With eyes clouded by tears…

That leave their daily mark…

They flow down her face…

Extinguishing any spark…

Of the woman she remembers…

A long time ago…

When her life had a purpose…

And his love set her aglow…

Giving her the courage…

To be free within herself…

To lose all her inhibitions…

Leave her fears on the shelf…

But she sat and she watched…

As his life ebbed away…

Feeling so damn helpless…

Each and every cruel day…

Nothing she could do…

Could stop his cancerous pain…

It was out of her hands…

She was not to blame…

But now she sits all alone…

Not knowing how to move on…

She’s caught in his shadow…

He was her “Sine Qua Non”

~

“No one plans to take the path, that brings you lower”…

woman-shadow-angry1

~

She made a decision…
A long time ago…
The repercussions…
She could not know…
Walking away…
Handing over her child…
Because they claimed…
She was too wild…

Couldn’t care for another…
And look after herself…
So she gave him up…
Despite how she felt…
Leaving him broken…
Both lost and alone…
To start his new life…
In a different home…

And she never called…
Or tried to visit…
She tried to build a life…
Without him in it…
But she carried his face…
Every single day…
And felt the shame…
Knew she’d one day pay…

Either on this Earth…
Or burning in Hell…
For her horrid crimes…
And lies she did tell…
But the day came around…
Where he wanted to know…
Everything about her…
Why she had to go…

Demanded to see her…
And speak face to face…
He began to search…
And slowly did trace…
Finally finding her…
Lost, lonely and alone…
Sat by the open fire…
In a mental home…

With eyes full of anger…
And hate in his heart…
He looked at this woman…
Before slowly falling apart…
Holding her so tight…
In his big strong arms…
He quietly promised…
She’d come to no harm…

Making a decision…
He’d never regret…
All that had passed…
He would never forget…
But try to move forward…
As mother and son…
In spite of the fact…
That her mind had gone…

~

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