“All you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be”…

hyy

~

Are you reading him…

Loud, true and clear…

Can you feel him…

All of his fears…

All of his thoughts…

Once hidden away…

Can you hear them…

Now clear as day…

Through holes in time…

Between stars in space…

Projecting it out…

His total disgrace…

He’s opening up…

And letting you in…

It’s what you wanted…

Take it, you win…

Just have it all…

All of his thoughts…

His deep dark secrets…

The battles he’s fought…

And the scars he carries…

Feel them with your fingers…

In between the cracks…

Where his pain still lingers…

And now you have it…

What the fuck can you do…

You still can’t help him…

That much is true…

You’ve cracked the nut…

Gained your satisfaction…

But his life won’t change…

There’s no chain reaction…

He carries on as normal…

You never really could help…

The mental wounds are his…

The memories are Hell…

But you got what you wanted…

Now please, just leave…

It’s time for you to go…

He needs space to breathe…

~

“Some of us we hide away, some of us, we don’t”…

depre

~

The dark storm rages

In the blackness outside…

As the battle for control

Continues on the inside

Two war torn factions

Fighting in his brain…

Perpetually ongoing…

Driving him insane

The good and the bad…

The Angels and Demons…

That rip him in two

But no one can see them

Invisible to the eye

At a glance you can’t see…

He keeps it all covered

Tries to keep it unseen

Projecting another version…

So weakness can not scream...

Yet he’s broken inside

Falling apart at the seams

In need of some help

In need of urgent therapy…

Desparate for distraction…

Trying to find “happy”

He doesn’t know who to ask…

Or know what to do…

Hampered by his foolish pride…

And his distorted view

On everything around him

Of everything he sees…

All that he holds dear…

And all that he believes

Feeling so very weak

And so very insecure

Depression spreads like cancer…

He can’t find the cure

Leaving him clinging

On to life by a thread

Aware of the easy option

Pills. Alcohol. Dead...

~

“Girl, before I met you I was F.I.N.E. fine”…

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~

FINE …

One word …

Four letters …

Let’s pretend …

That nothing matters …

Nothing is wrong …

No words spoken …

When deep inside …

Everything is broken …

Won’t tell a soul …

Can’t let them see …

So all is FINE …

And good with me …

Say the word …

And nobody asks …

Not scratching the surface …

Just walking on past …

Moving on to the next …

Leaving me alone …

They dodge a bullet …

Whilst I stifle my moan …

Covering the truth …

There’s no other way …

What if I told you …

What would you say …

If I opened up …

What could you do …

It’s not your problem …

These are my issues …

Seen through my eyes …

And my perspective …

What do you care …

It’s all so subjective …

My mountain ranges …

Are your mole hills …

My fears, my doubts …

You’d handle with skill …

So it’s not important …

No need to vent …

I’ll keep it inside …

And that will prevent …

You needing to invest …

Any more of your time …

Because it doesn’t matter …

Honestly, I’m F.I.N.E …
 
Fucked up…
Insecure…
Neurotic…
Emotional…

~

“The only truth is that everything is a lie”…

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~

There’s something broken about her…

And something not quite right…

Something just doesn’t make sense…

Something that keeps her up at night…

It’s something about her past…

And it’s something dark and cold…

Something so unspeakable…

Something that haunts as she grows old…

It’s something she will never escape…

Something she can’t breakthrough…

It’s something out of her control…

And something she can’t tell you…

Something that’s so overpowering…

And something so very emotional…

Something she just can’t explain…

It’s something hiding in her soul…

And something downright nasty…

Something that makes her weep…

Something chills her to the bone…

It’s something secret she must keep…

It’s something that can’t be healed…

Like something inside has died…

Something evil has left a scar…

And something makeup cannot hide…

Something that infects her thoughts…

Something makes her look away…

And something you can see in her eyes…

That something caused this decay…

There’s nothing you can do about it…

Nothing more but pray…

Nothing in this world can mend her…

There’s nothing more to say…

~

“When all are one and one is all”…

stock-footage-hd-looking-into-the-blackness-of-an-above-ground-outdoor-drain-pipe-at-the-beautiful-tranquil

~

There was nothing to see…
When he fell fast asleep…
No light and no tunnel…
No angels that weep…
When he closed his eyes…
And his heart stopped beating…
There was just darkness…
No one there to greet him…

No sign of St Peter…
No big pearly gates…
Was he really dead…
Was this all that lie in wait…
No Heaven to enter…
Just this Black Hell…
He wanted to scream…
He wanted to yell…

And return to the living…
Regain his ordinary life…
On the cold cruel Earth…
Back to his faithful wife…
Who grieved down below…
Hoping to see him again…
When it was her time…
To gracefully ascend…

But now he realised…
Never again would they meet…
They were parted for good…
His love now obsolete…
And as he floated in darkness…
His mind in total torment…
What was left of his soul…
Began to quietly lament…

As for time immemorial…
He was now alone…
Just his mental ability…
To wander this Twilight Zone…
For there was nothing to see…
When he fell fast asleep…
No light and no tunnel…
And no angels that weep…

~

Neil Finn – “Dizzy Heights” – A (distorted) review…

images

So, I was asked recently about my affection for Neil Finn and his music. “Why? What is it about him?” – I shrugged my shoulders and said I wasn’t overly sure.

Truth is though, I lied. I do know exactly what it is about Neil Finn and it’s kept me with him for over 20 years.

It is multi-faceted and not something easily explainable, but deep down, I know.

His voice, his melody’s, his lyrics, his energy, his banter on stage, his wit (Which can be seen in the next 2 brilliant clips), his sincerity, I could go on.

His songs give me comfort, they bring me joy.

At live gigs, time stands still and I lose myself there. Immersed. I connect. I have a connection.

It’s all I ask from any artist, but with Neil Finn, solo or other, I connect deep.

Now, the thing is… Neil Finn’s songs just do not lend themselves for instant reviews. They never have and I doubt they ever will.

Even the more immediate tunes that grab you have a subtle tendency to reveal something new and fresh after more than a few listens – sometimes after more than a few years. I am aware of that, but I wanted to say something about “Dizzy Heights”, his new solo offering.

So, I figured I would leave it a while and then get my thoughts down – but however I tried, what I wrote was neither objective nor really a review.

And as a self-confessed diehard fan, my view of “Dizzy Heights” is already distorted because I love the man and accept that for every song I love, there will be a few that miss the target and you know what, I even find things I like in those.

With that in mind, I stopped writing a review and decided to see where the songs would take my mind. I have been using a lot of Finn’s music as soundtracks and inspiration to my words for a long time now, so between poetry, a gig review and a late night emotional rant, I have managed to use all bar one song on “Dizzy Heights”. The links to these are below.

Now, as an aside and before you click the links,  there are only a few people I speak to that even know who he is, let alone his music that has endured for the best part of 30 years.

Neil Finn is a singer / songwriter from New Zealand and via Split Enz, Crowded House, Finn Brothers and Pajama Club – alongside other projects such as the collaborative Seven worlds collide – you will know a lot of his songs, you may just not realise it was him.

Never did a tag line “You know more Crowded House songs that you think you do” really and truly describe a best of CD. It was spot on and Recurring Dream (The original best of CD) was pretty much catapulted to the top of the UK charts on the back of that piece of clever marketing. Crowded House was / is Neil’s main musical vehicle, but despite recording a few tracks for the next CD, the band are on hold for a while.

In the meantime, Finn has been active working on “Dizzy Heights”, his 3rd solo offering behind “Try Whistling This” and “One Nil” (not including One All for this)

However, Neil’s last release was neither solo nor Crowded House, it was a collaboration with his wife Sharon and a guy called Sean Donnelly on the LO-FI project “Pajama Club”.

It was a fusion of drum and bass with electronica added on top. The songs were not the classic sound fans were used to, from either the song writing, to the texture or to the sound.

Hooks and melody were replaced by a driving, thumping soundtrack that did it’s best to be everything Crowded House wasn’t.

Yet, that wasn’t a bad thing and it spawned a few tracks that were pretty damn good by any standards. “From a Friend to a Friend”, “Deadleg”, “Diamonds in her Eyes” and “Golden Child” may have had a different “Finn” sound that split the fans, but were more than worthy additions to the Finn back catalogue.

And it’s clear that “Dizzy Heights” is a continuation of sorts from this CD – more evolution than revolution – where the songs on Pajama Club had the feel that they really were contrived in the Finn living room over a few bottles of wine – “Dizzy Heights” goes that next step.

With the rest of the family on the CD, Wife Sharon and sons Liam and Elroy, Neil has managed to put together a remarkable CD with the help of producer David Fridmann. Lush string arrangements and weird electronic twists compliment the vocals all the way through the CD and my word, they certainly add an amazing dimension to the sound.

The songs themselves feel more in the mould that the fan base is used to. Sparse lyrics on Pajama Club replaced by something more substantial, whichever way Neil has constructed and found them.

Now, fans have already been treated to stripped back versions of a few songs on this CD. Webcasts and showcases with Victoria Kelly and a string section have featured just Neil on piano and some percussion joining in to create some stunning, heartfelt and wonderful versions of the songs.

However, Neil had warned people that the final songs would be different and he is of course correct – from my listening perspective, it’s on a win most, lose a couple basis, but it continues to unfold with each listen.

So, in running order, please click the link to hear the songs and read my words. Some of the poetry is dark, as is my natural way – check out this link –  and if you are interested, there is plenty more Split Enz, Crowded House, Pajama Club and solo songs within the blog, so feel free to have a look around.

Impressions: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/this-disguise-fooling-no-one/

Dizzy Heights: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/smoke-drifting-up-to-the-dizzy-heights/

Flying in the face of Love: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2013/11/16/flying-in-the-face-of-love/

Divebomber: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2013/11/15/and-theres-only-one-way-down/

Better than TV: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2014/04/06/at-the-end-of-the-world-its-just-you-and-me/

Pony Ride: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2014/03/25/he-only-wants-to-get-you-out-of-your-mind/

White Lies and Alibies: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2014/03/18/holding-on-to-nothing-sacred/

Recluse: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2014/02/26/i-just-want-to-be-alone/

Strangest Friends: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2014/03/22/and-they-take-your-souls-away/

In my Blood: https://eyewillnotcry.wordpress.com/2013/12/01/how-i-wish-that-i-could-do-this-again/

Finally, the only song that I didn’t touch was “Lights of New York” and it can be found below.

I hope you enjoy!

Cheers