“Can’t keep my mind from the circling skies”…

angels

~

Flying high…
10,000 feet…

Tired mind…
Slow heartbeat…

Needing sleep…
And recharge…

Numbing senses…
Headache large…

Always pulsing…
Stabbing pain…

Sweating forehead…
Sweeping rain…

Hitting eyes…
High altitude…

Blurring vision…
Darkened mood…

Sickening nausea…
Claustrophobic brain…

Incessant paranoia…
Clinically insane…

Violent thoughts…
Softly spoken…

Constant demons…
Spirit broken…

Forever speaking…
Multi voices…

Never happy…
Criticising choices…

Turning left…
Staying right…

Playing out…
Sinful night…

Never listening…
Didn’t understand…

Never helping…
Withdrawing hand…

Everything fading…
Turning black…

Another wave…
Relentless attacks…

~

“I have become, comfortably numb”…

ang

~

Here he lies sleeping…
Deep underground…

The grass has grown over…
No trace can be found…

Just a simple plot…
With memories and flowers…

So peaceful and so quiet…
I could sit here for hours…

A place that’s so detached…
In a field full of pain…

My mind floods with memories…
Under a sky filled with rain…

Refusing to let emotions show…
Keeping tears locked away inside…

It’s the way he brought me up…
Even now I can’t cry…

It’s all floating around in there…
Yet I keep it all closed…

If I open the box…
I’ll feel so vulnerable, so exposed…

That’s just not an option…
So it’s a choice I have made…

And along with all the others…
Grieving will be forever delayed…

Perhaps this is my weakness…
A sign that I’m not strong…

But don’t lay there and judge me…
Don’t tell me this is wrong…

It doesn’t mean I don’t think about you…
Or what you mean to me…

Maybe one day I’ll resolve this…
Perhaps then I’ll be set free…

Until then you can sleep…
Your body covered in dirt…

Becoming at one with the Earth…
And at peace from all your hurt…

~

“All you touch and all you see, is all your life will ever be”…

hyy

~

Are you reading him…

Loud, true and clear…

Can you feel him…

All of his fears…

All of his thoughts…

Once hidden away…

Can you hear them…

Now clear as day…

Through holes in time…

Between stars in space…

Projecting it out…

His total disgrace…

He’s opening up…

And letting you in…

It’s what you wanted…

Take it, you win…

Just have it all…

All of his thoughts…

His deep dark secrets…

The battles he’s fought…

And the scars he carries…

Feel them with your fingers…

In between the cracks…

Where his pain still lingers…

And now you have it…

What the fuck can you do…

You still can’t help him…

That much is true…

You’ve cracked the nut…

Gained your satisfaction…

But his life won’t change…

There’s no chain reaction…

He carries on as normal…

You never really could help…

The mental wounds are his…

The memories are Hell…

But you got what you wanted…

Now please, just leave…

It’s time for you to go…

He needs space to breathe…

~

“There’s someone in my head, but it’s not me”…

dark

~

It’s cold and it’s dark…

No sunlight in there…

Alone with his thoughts…

All alone with his fears…

Just those four walls…

And his mental cell…

An inescapable prison…

The never-ending Hell…

With voices that echo…

Deep inside his head…

Sending him crazy…

Torture, drip-fed…

Around and around…

Around the fuckers go…

Will they ever stop…

He really doesn’t know…

Laughing one minute…

Then they’re screaming…

Is he really awake…

Or is he just dreaming…

And all this is fake…

Just one big illusion…

That fucks with his mind…

Leading to much confusion…

Punching his stomach…

Leaving such dull ache…

While the sickness and nausea….

Prevent any hope of escape…

Leaving him feeling helpless…

And spinning his wheels…

A life that’s never lived…

And one that’s unable to feel…

As there is no way out…

Not now, not ever…

The darkness has engulfed…

The blackness is forever…

Because it’s so very dark…

No hope exists in there…

And every fibre of his soul…

Is crippled by the fear…

~

“How I wish, how I wish you were here…”

In honour of post number 600 (yes, it astounded me too!) it feels fitting to revisit where it all began. This was my first poem, not the first I showed the world, but the first I scribbled when I started…

Hope you enjoy and thank you all for continuing to read and enjoy my rambles…

Cheers
J

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~

It is as it is…
Perhaps it never was…
Staring into the abyss…
On the brink of utter chaos…

They sit there and judge me…
But have no idea who I am…
Can not see what I see…
Or read my cosmic plan…

They don’t really know me…
Or begin to truly understand…
Life won’t ever set us free…
Fate’s not in our command…

They find it hard to trust me…
Garden where confusion grew…
Mirror where my heart should be…
Distorts their point of view…

They won’t ever forgive me…
Sick of playing silly games…
Drowning in a spiteful sea…
Trapped in Hell’s Black flames…

They won’t ever release me…
A prisoner of their hateful war…
Even when on bended knee…
Emotional cage remains mine to explore…

They know the one who held me…
The one that I let go…
Please don’t tell nobody…
And never let it show…

It is as it is…
Perhaps it never was…
The edge of the abyss…
The brink of utter chaos…

~

“Life going nowhere, somebody help me”…

125527e5b6ad253ef7740d18d2383ec4

~

He’s caught within a moment,
that’s been frozen in time…

Burned into his soul,
it arrived with no warning sign…

A vivid vision in his mind,
it’s like he’s under some spell…

And he can’t break free,
this is his living Hell…

As when he closes his eyes,
he sees her staring back…

Her pale and lifeless face,
just staring into Black…

Because a single moment changed him,
the wrong place and wrong time…

Lost his sense of right and wrong,
as he carried out this crime…

As fate conspired against him,
leading him down a path…

And once at the crossroads,.
there was no turning back…

But he didn’t mean to hurt her,
just saw a golden opportunity…

To get to know her better and
try to make her see…

That he was the one for her,
him alone and no one else…

But when she laughed into his face,
he felt the anger rise within himself…

Pushed her to the ground,
snapping her neck just like a twig…

And before he could save her,
she had danced her final jig…

Now he sits here crying,
driven insane by what he’s done…

Not knowing how to fix this mess,
or kill the monster he’s become…

As he’s caught in that one moment,
that’s been frozen in time…

His life is going nowhere and
his Sun no longer shines…

~

“Shorter of breath and one day closer to death”…

Thief-LOGO

~
The thief called time…
Steals from us all…
Man, woman and child…
From dusk until dawn…

The silent stranger…
Who’s part of our life…
Always walking with us…
And carrying a knife…

Cutting our timelines…
This thief is so bold…
We try to avoid him…
Yet still we grow old…

Stealing youth’s beauty…
Ageing no matter what…
No price tag can stop it…
Immortality can’t be bought…

Takes sanity from the old…
As well as their agility…
They lived life to the full…
Now they struggle to see…

This father to no one…
Just shows no remorse…
Treats all with disdain…
Whilst holding his course…

Eating precious hours…
Eroding all our thoughts…
Always working against us…
Keeping feelings fraught…

As this world revolves…
From day into night…
He’s a stealthy opponent…
Always hiding from sight…

Refusing to show our future…
As we avoid our past…
Never living in the moment…
Our days go so very fast…

He stands in shadows…
Laughs at all we do…
Knowing where our end is…
Whatever path we choose…

The thief called time…
Makes servants of us all…
Man, woman and child…
Till deaths final call…
~