“Keep on, chasing down that rainbow”…

Please welcome Ansaa as tonight’s guest poet – you can read more of Ansaa’s work here: https://webranter.wordpress.com/about/

Guest poet slots are always available,  just email your words to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk

Cheers

J

hoj

~

Eye will not cry!
My optimism clouds all bad grey thoughts.

Eye will not cry
As I look forward
Though dark shadows cast their evil lots.

Eye will not cry
Because my mind
Looks forward to the best.

Eye will not cry
Because life tries to put me to the test.

~

“There’s something in the way, she moves me to distraction”…

Pandora__s_Box_by_chibimoth

~

Caught out again…
By a trick of the light…

Pulled down by gravity…
Impossible to fight…

Fooled by the look…
Flashed from her eyes…

Trapped by the Devil…
Removing his disguise…

Revealing a truth…
That shook his world…

Unmuting the voices…
As the saga unfurled…

Joining all the dots…
And making a story…

Of his hidden feelings…
That once were history…

But now they are back…
The flood gates are open…

Despite all his efforts…
He’s unable to close them…

And put back Pandora…
Inside her ornamental box…

An impossible mission…
When it refuses to lock…

Keeping it out there…
Lurking in shadows…

Where the beast feasts…
And the darkness knows…

All of his secrets…
And every white lie…

That gets spoken…
As EYE FLY HIGH…

Bringing back memories…
That once were forgotten…

And buried deep down…
In a box that was rotten…

Now his world is viewed…
Through different eyes…

Making sense of distraction…
And lighting up the night sky…

~

“Take me, back from the darkness where they sent me”…

paradise-lost

~

In a dream within a dream…

Where nothing’s as it seems…

The angels watch and scream…

Then turn their back…

On what plays out before them…

The drama that unfolds…

In a way that blinds their eyes…

And leaves scorch marks on their souls…

A dream where no one can know…

Where cruel realities collide…

Where danger and demons hide…

And only the toughest survive…

An all out attack…

From out of the Black…

And from within the abyss…

Where a blink would miss…

And the winged queen may dismiss…

A plea from the heart…

That was doomed from the very start…

And begin where she ends…

Where lightning strikes and bends…

The strands of time…

And one by one, in a line…

The crawling sinner’s fucked up crime…

Is judged and condemned…

By a system that controls…

Owns all of the souls…

That weep and fly around…

Screaming, yet not making a sound…

Deep underneath the ground…

In this version of Hell…

Where voiceless demons tell…

And hopeless victims sell…

Themselves…

And all that they own…

In the hope that forgiveness is shown…

Within this dream that’s grown…

Into the next…

Leaving your head so vexed…

It’s all so fucking complex…

And so complicated…

The Devil should have waited…

Instead he fucking created…

The lost…

Left counting the cost…

In a winter field of frost…

With wires severely crossed…

In this dream within a dream…

Where nothing was what it seemed…

~

Image – Gustav Dore: Lucifer Falling (Paradise Lost)

“Take me, back from the darkness where they sent me”…

shamanic-dream-angel

~

A dream within a dream…
Where nothing’s what it seems…
And angels watch and scream…

Then turn their back…

On what plays out before
them…

The drama that unfolds…

In a way that blinds their
eyes…

And leaves scorch marks
on their souls…
A dream where no one can
know…

Where realities collide…
And danger and demons
hide…
Where only the toughest
survive…

An all out attack…
From out of the black…

And within the abyss…
Where a blink would miss…
And the winged queen
may dismiss…

A plea from the heart…
That was doomed from
the start…

And begin where she ends…
Where lightning strikes and
bends…

The strands of time…
And one by one, in a line…
The crawling sinner’s fucked up
crime…

Is judged and condemned…

By a system that controls…
Owns all of the souls…

That weep and fly around…
Screaming, yet not making
a sound…
Deep underneath the ground…

In a version of Hell…
Where voiceless demons tell…
And hopeless victims sell…

Themselves…

And all that they own…
In the hope that
forgiveness is shown…
Within this dream that’s
grown…

Into the next…
Leaving your head so
vexed…
It’s all so fucking
complex…

And so complicated…
The Devil should have
waited…
Instead he fucking
created…

The lost…
Left counting the cost…
In a winter field of frost…
With wires severely
crossed…

In a dream within
a dream…
Where nothing is
what it seems…

~

“You’ll never change what’s been and gone”…

~

Nothing is a problem…
Everything is fine…
In this world of darkness…
She stands tall and shines…

Takes on this cruel world…
Stands up for her rights…
She’s the type of girl who’ll…
Begin and end the fight…

So tough on the outside…
As the bark protects a tree…
Projecting so much strength…
So no one can ever see…

 It’s all smoke and mirrors…
In order to distract…
Inside she is so lonely…
  She’s broken and she’s cracked…

Behind the mask is heartache…
Never revealed to the world…
Her mind is always turning…
Leaves her feeling so cold…

She can’t find the answers…
To questions on her mind…
Who is she, how did she get here…
Her world seems so unkind…

She hides her life in shadows…
Walks where nobody can see…
Carrying such a dark secret…
It would be hard to believe…

Lost from the very moment…
That she first drew breath…
Trying to understand the truth…
Before she encounters death…

Abandoned by her parents…
And brought up in a home…
Subjected to such abuse…
For reasons still unknown…

She is totally blameless …
Yet carries so much guilt…
The hatred burns so strong…
Blood will one day be spilt…

But she’ll never let you see
And never let you passed…
The wall built around her…
Hiding her shameful past…

Because nothing is a problem…
And everything is fine…
In her world of darkness…
She stands tall and shines…

~

“We may lose and we may win”…

~

So, in the midst of a busy week that has thrown up more questions than answers on a personal matter, this blog was nominated for an award. Nominated twice actually, which really made me smile and was quite humbling.

It is not the first time; you may remember that previously, the lovely Nina from http://wordsthatflowlikewater.wordpress.com/2013/06/06/inspiring-the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/  Nominated this blog for the “Very Inspiring Blog” award – which was really nice of her.

very-inspiring-blogger-award

This achievement has now been followed up by both Richard from http://richardankerswrites.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/the-versatile-blogger-award/ and Christine from http://crissyb315.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/the-versatile-blogger-award/ nominating this blog for the “Versatile blogger award”.  Which again, is really nice and I am truly humbled.

20130802-003321

Both these awards come with things that need to be done and I have to admit, I am pretty poor at these – however, the fact that these awards come from wordpress peers does mean a lot and whilst I have little of interest about myself to do any sort of list, I do feel the need to spread the word of others blogs.

The below are 10 blogs that I read and follow – and I would encourage you to try them out for size – these are just a snapshot as I follow a huge amount – so if your blog isn’t below, it is not reflection on you – more an opportunity.

Please leave a comment and let people know where they can find you – this could be an opportunity for all of us to build up our wordpress base? Not sure if this will even work, but don’t be shy – we all want to be read – even if we do not think what we produce is worth reading!

So, here is a snapshot in addition to the 3 above and in no order:

http://stevehi312.wordpress.com/

http://helenvalentina.com/

http://shakeyourtailfeathers.wordpress.com/

http://busymindthinking.com/

http://kwicksand.wordpress.com/

http://apurvakj.wordpress.com/

http://sagedoyle.wordpress.com/

http://thedrugstorenotebook.co/

http://randomblurting.wordpress.com

https://morganlefaysblog.wordpress.com/

So, a song to leave this ramble – I watched an Eagles documentary last night and really enjoyed it, so have a few tunes floating round in my head – this one is a message for the weekend – “Take it easy” – no more words needed – well, unless you wish to comment!

Enjoy

“My hands are shaking, don’t let my heart keep breaking”…

~

Her love’s so overwhelming…
Sometimes he just can’t breathe…
It’s like he’s suffocating…
So he really needs to leave…

And find a quiet place…
Somewhere to be alone…
Far away from her company…
Switching off his phone…

It’s not that he doesn’t love her…
Or mean he doesn’t care…
But like a deep sea diver…
He needs to come up for air…

It’s a constant fight for freedom…
A battle to find some space…
And because there is no balance…
He needs to escape from this place…

Her words are quite abusive…
And getting out of control…
He can’t tolerate her mood swings…
  Her depression drains his soul…

It drags him beneath the surface…
Chains and anchors him down…
This weight is too much for him…
He just can’t bear to be around…

So he looks for distraction…
A detachment from reality…
The only way he finds peace…
And keeps in touch with sanity…

He wishes he could change things…
And that her eyes could see…
The damage all around her…
But her ears ignore his plea…

So he keeps on going…
Doing all he possibly can…
Trying so hard to explain…
But he’s just a simple man…

He loves her without question…
Though it’s hard to breathe…
And even when he’s suffocating…
She knows he’ll never leave…

~

“Take me to the place where you go”…

~

Step outside your mind…

Following the moth as it flies…

With Black and Red wings…

This Devil refuses to die…

Amidst Green eyed reflection…

Strip bars and bright lights…

Cold reality burning…

Common sense took flight…

Saying what you mean…

Did you mean what you say…

Alarm bells started ringing…

Such a dangerous game to play…

Seducing me so softly…

Getting underneath my skin…

Pouring me another…

Danced whilst drunk on sin…

You blurred the suggestion…

I laid it all out bare…

I told you my truth…

Wanted to see if you’d dare…

To join in and play…

But it’s no longer hide and seek…

It all used to be a game…

But I was so fucking weak…

Guess…

Can…

You…
~

“It is as it is” – For Cancer Research…

product_thumbnail.php

Well…

Not quite sure what to say, but the paperback version of this book of poems is ready to buy earlier than planned! If you click the picture it should take you through to the lulu webpage.

It’s taken a while from concept to delivery, some road humps along the way, but it is not too bad for a first attempt.

All profit from this project will be collated over the next 12 months and donated to Cancer Research.

For your information, the cost to make each book is £4.10, so each purchase will mean a donation of £5.89. I will keep a running total on a fixed page somewhere so you can keep track if you are interested.

A hardback version will follow, but the cost price on that is huge, so I am not sure if there will be much in the way of selling / donations. Time will tell.

When I started this blog, I did it in secret and for the most part, I still do. I wrote and continue to write for therapy under servere pressure, trying to hold my head and my sanity together whilst the world around me fell apart. Watching my Father slip away crowned an amazing 15 month period in my life that couldn’t have been written by the best script writers.

But I am still here, still trying to get through life like we all do – It’s fair to say I have been on the ropes, but not knocked out…

I appreciate that many of you have read my words and have been subjected to my torrid last few months – for that I apologise and thank you in equal measure. Most of you are faceless to me, but you all have a talent in writing and reading others work inspires me to do better and look at my own work through a different lens.

I have had help and encouragement from offline too and they know who they are – so thank you!!

I hope that you are able to donate to this cause, but if not, the poems remain on the site and who knows, a volume 2 may evolve– so thanks again for reading and enjoy.

Cheers

J

“Lock the box and leave it all behind”…

~

She’s taken all her memories…
And placed them in a box…
Then hidden it out of view…
Making sure it’s closed and locked…

Each one is tinged with pain…
Like a dagger through her heart…
They fuel her whole neurosis…
It’s causing her to fall apart…

She can’t control the flashbacks…
Or the emotions that they bring…
And like a mournful recurring dream…
She’s forever trapped within…

She’s racked with so much guilt…
And filled with so much shame…
Her ravaged mind tormented…
She’s convinced she is to blame…

The hands of time aren’t healing…
Passing seconds feel like hours…
She could end it any moment…
But they’d brand her a gutless coward…

So she keeps living every day…
In her mental prison cell…
Convinced she could’ve saved him…
Or caught him as he fell…

She looked away for a second…
Distracted by a noise…
In that time he lost his footing…
Two lives forever destroyed…

He fell into the water…
Hit his head on a hidden rock…
Poseidon took his victim…
She just froze in shock…

They never found his body…
Just his floating favourite toy…
Dragged into a cold watery grave…
She lost her one and only boy…

Now she just has memories…
And she locks them in that box…
Sits on the same bench hoping…
To see him, out there on the rocks…

~