Maybe…

pain

~

This pain will one day pass…
And your eyes will begin to see…

The world spinning around you…
Is still full of wonder & fantasy…

And the hurt you are now feeling…
Will heal in the fullness of time…

Becoming your heart’s scar tissue…
A lump that will always remind…

Of the time when you flew so high…
Stretched your wings amongst the birds…

Danced between thunder & lightning…
Allowed electricity to ignite your world…

Taking you to some places…
You never thought you’d go…

Tasting such experiences…
You never thought you’d know…

And emotions never felt before…
Due to a version of yourself unseen…

Someone who sat deep within you…
Yet you never had the chance to be…

But now she walks alongside you…
The two of you have become one…

Now you face the challenge…
Of keeping her out of the sun…

Making sure she’s quietly hidden…
Forcing her out of plain sight…

Because if reality ever sees her…
Your mind will lose this fight…

And then life won’t be worth living…
Because it won’t be worth the cost…

As everything you know & love…
Will be shattered & will be lost…

So don’t let her colour your world…
Prevent her from taking control…

Be strong try to fight her…
Because the prize is your very soul…

As I promise this pain will pass…
And your eyes will slowly see…

That what maybe seemed so exciting…
Was always just a vivid fantasy…

~

“And I’m feeling my way through the dark”…

Please welcome Annie for tonight’s Guest Poet slot.

You can read more of Annie’s fantastic work here: http://gentlementalannie.com/

If you want a guest poet slot, please email eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk

Cheers

woman

Walking Alone Through the Darkness

Walking alone through the darkened streets
No hand to hold mine for company
In the past my hand did not swing freely
It was always grasped by another

There have been many hands that I have held
At the time they made me feel less alone
But when they suddenly let go…
I felt more alone than before

I wished I had never touched them, caressed them
Allowed them to guide me into darker streets
But my hand swings freely tonight
In the dim illumination of a distant street light

I am walking on this particular street because
One of the hands guided me here
Into the darkened alley with no lamp posts
Promising they would not leave me

But I walk on my own with less fear
Than when the last hand was here
It seems like a backwards tale to tell
Of loving another who put you in Hell

Now I can touch and hold what I choose
My hand is not owned by any other
I can guide my own feet by the light in the distance
It gets a little brighter as I follow its guide

“Barely holding it all together”…

queen_bee-6490.png

~

Fallen mixed messages…

From a perfect Queen Bee bitch…

His deaf ears refuse to listen…

To her blind sales pitch…

Working her out in circles…

Shaking her out of his mind…

As he basks in Yellow sunshine…

The cold Black snowflake kind…

Her words are dark and chilling…

But he doesn’t listen to what she says…

Simply remembering the innocent times…

It’s always easier that way…

Because her sword has a double edge…

With a blade that slides through skin…

And when she plays with cruel desire…

It’s impossible for him to win…

So as her world begins an ending…

He peers through broken glass…

Listening to her breathing…

Then searching through her trash…

But the beast with wings approaches…

And soon it will be time…

He will have no place for hiding…

She will destroy his state of mind…

Sanity…

At…

Risk…

“Maybe I can’t see, maybe it’s just me”…

 

pain

~

This pain will one day pass and
your eyes will begin to see…

The world spinning around you is still,
full of wonder and fantasy…

The hurt that you are feeling,
will heal in the fullness of time…

Becoming your heart’s scar tissue and
a lump that will always remind…

Of the time when you flew high,
with wings amongst the birds…

Danced between thunder and lightning,
as electricity ignited your world…

Taking you to some places that,
you never thought you’d go…

Providing you with such experiences,
you never thought you’d know…

And emotions seldom felt before,
thanks to a version of yourself unseen…

Someone who sat deep within you,
but you never had the chance to be…

But now she walks alongside you and
the two of you have become one…

Now you face the challenge of,
keeping this version out of the sun…

Making sure she’s quietly hidden and
forcing her out of plain sight…

Because if reality ever sees her,
your mind will lose this fight…

And then life won’t be worth living,
because it will not be worth the cost…

As everything you know and love,
will be shattered and be lost…

So don’t let her colour your world and
prevent her from taking control…

Be strong and fucking fight her,
because the prize is your very soul…

As I promise this pain will pass and
your eyes will slowly begin to see…

That what was so very exciting,
was always just a vivid fantasy…

~

 

“We may lose and we may win”…

~

So, in the midst of a busy week that has thrown up more questions than answers on a personal matter, this blog was nominated for an award. Nominated twice actually, which really made me smile and was quite humbling.

It is not the first time; you may remember that previously, the lovely Nina from http://wordsthatflowlikewater.wordpress.com/2013/06/06/inspiring-the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/  Nominated this blog for the “Very Inspiring Blog” award – which was really nice of her.

very-inspiring-blogger-award

This achievement has now been followed up by both Richard from http://richardankerswrites.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/the-versatile-blogger-award/ and Christine from http://crissyb315.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/the-versatile-blogger-award/ nominating this blog for the “Versatile blogger award”.  Which again, is really nice and I am truly humbled.

20130802-003321

Both these awards come with things that need to be done and I have to admit, I am pretty poor at these – however, the fact that these awards come from wordpress peers does mean a lot and whilst I have little of interest about myself to do any sort of list, I do feel the need to spread the word of others blogs.

The below are 10 blogs that I read and follow – and I would encourage you to try them out for size – these are just a snapshot as I follow a huge amount – so if your blog isn’t below, it is not reflection on you – more an opportunity.

Please leave a comment and let people know where they can find you – this could be an opportunity for all of us to build up our wordpress base? Not sure if this will even work, but don’t be shy – we all want to be read – even if we do not think what we produce is worth reading!

So, here is a snapshot in addition to the 3 above and in no order:

http://stevehi312.wordpress.com/

http://helenvalentina.com/

http://shakeyourtailfeathers.wordpress.com/

http://busymindthinking.com/

http://kwicksand.wordpress.com/

http://apurvakj.wordpress.com/

http://sagedoyle.wordpress.com/

http://thedrugstorenotebook.co/

http://randomblurting.wordpress.com

https://morganlefaysblog.wordpress.com/

So, a song to leave this ramble – I watched an Eagles documentary last night and really enjoyed it, so have a few tunes floating round in my head – this one is a message for the weekend – “Take it easy” – no more words needed – well, unless you wish to comment!

Enjoy

“Barely holding it all together”…

~

Fallen mixed messages…

From a perfect queen bee bitch…

My deaf ears stop to listen…

To her blind sales pitch…

Working her out in circles…

Shaking her out of my mind…

Bring me Yellow sunshine…

The cold Black snowflake kind…

Water refreshing and chilling…

Will rain save this day…

Or that memory of disco dancing…

She looked fucking cool that day…

But her sword has a double edge…

With a blade that slides through skin…

And when she plays with cruel desire…

It’s impossible for me to win…

So as her world begins an ending…

I see through broken glass…

Listening to her breathing…

Searching through her trash…

But the beast with wings approaches…

And soon it will be time…

No place left for hiding…

It will destroy my state of mind…

Sanity…

At…

Risk…

“Why didn’t I ask her, where she came from”…

KT Tunstall – Leeds
So my Forty for Forty quest quickly brought me back to my spiritual home, Leeds. I was looking forward to this gig for a few reasons, not least that I do like some of KT’s stuff, but if I am honest, I would not and could not claim to be her biggest fan.

However, there are a few elements that add to the whole picture about this singer for me that I am going to mention – So a few years ago, I scored a VIP pass at Cornbury festival – terribly rainy day, but the VIP tent was warm and dry. Around half way through the event, I was lucky enough to hang backstage with the headlining band, a certain Crowded House, led by a certain Mr Neil Finn.

It was an awesome day – but a memory of that day (aside my Finn worship) was blindly walking into a young lass backstage. Anyway, I had no idea who she was until I saw her on stage later that evening – yes, it was KT – I doubt she will even have the merest recollection, but I do!

Perhaps stemming from that day (sharing a bill with CH not walking into me), KT was invited by Neil Finn to join his 7 worlds collide part 2 session. The result of that was a 2 cd set called “The sun came out” and all proceeds went to charity. Others, including Wilco, Johnny Marr and people from Radiohead were also featured. So KT’s Finn connection may have influenced me wanting to see her too. However, that wasn’t all.

The venue was the City Varieties in Leeds. An amazing old theatre that I hadn’t been to since 1995 for, yes, you guessed it, Neil Finn and his brother Tim. It was quite an amazing night that saw a relaxed and near perfect show, followed by getting stuff signed and meeting the Finns – bliss.

So, onto the show – Row G, to the left of stage it was a pretty perfect view. The support was a fella who had been working with KT – now – he ticked most boxes for me, but sadly didn’t grab me with his music. Which was a shame, because he was a very skilled musician and he at least tried to make contact with the crowd.

KT saunted on stage around 9 to blistering applause. The stage was sparse with a cloth backdrop that I guess is her CD cover and she opened up her set with the first song from her new CD. Now there must be a stage in a singers career that they just know that they are good. More than good, they know they are flipping excellent.

Some may let it go to their head, but KT seems grounded and real. And KT is at that level of excellence – musically amazing. On most of her songs she used the loop / recording equipment to stunning effect. But more importantly for me, was how comfortable she was at engaging the crowd. So at ease in-between songs, no awkward moments, some really funny stories and it really added to the night.

As an aside, I didn’t grasp the fact that her personal life has turned to shit before I went to the gig. Why would I , she never texts me – but regardless, I wasn’t aware and the remarks throughout the night, all light hearted made me go connect the dots on the internet after the gig – Clearly, it’s been a tough time for her and hopefully, the music and the clear love of the crowd she enjoys will aide her healing process.

As ever, I didn’t keep a set list, but KT played “Black horse and the cherry tree” – which cleverly diverged into “Seven Nation Army” by the White Strypes – KT also did a stunning cover of “Boys of Summer” by Don Henley. However, it was the last track that she sung which had the most profound effect – using the loop equipment to layer her voice, it was like a chorus of angels by the end and I have to admit, I fell a bit in love with her by the end of the song.

If I had to complain about anything, it was the length of the set – just an hour and 15. Which I suppose is par for the course for a warm up, but when some of her diehard fans – such as one I met after and hopefully she got to meet KT at the stage door – had flown in from other countries to see the show, I couldn’t help but be disappointed for them.

So another show is ticked off the list. I move on to London in a couple of weeks for Viva Forever and Hard Rock calling (Kasabian and Paul Weller) thanks to free tickets from the Sun! Happy days. I will leave you with KT and “Hazel Black” from the aforementioned 7 worlds project

Enjoy