“I began to lose control”…

angtr

~

It whispers through the trees…
Bringing the storm behind it…

It’s in the corner of your eye…
Hoping that you’ll submit…

Its voice is always talking…
On a mission to distract…

It takes pleasure in your pain…
And the way that you react…

You’ve tried to out run it…
But it’s always been there…

Hidden in the Moon’s soft glow…
And the Sun’s harsh glare…

It’s watching and it’s waiting…
But never letting you breathe…

As it twists and it distorts…
Begging you to receive…

And give in to its darkness…
Be consumed by it all…

It wants to enter inside you…
And bear witness as you fall…

With a morbid curiosity…
As it assumes full control…

No matter how hard you fight…
It will take over your soul…

You won’t be the first…
And you will not be the last…

It’s had so many victims…
From the present and the past…

You will become one of many…
Who’ve had their soul removed…

Don’t allow it to enter…
You don’t have anything to prove…

It will knock at your window…
And taunt you from afar…

It will tempt and persuade…
Till the door is open ajar…

Allowing it to attack…
Allowing it to consume…

Because it will begin your ending…
And it will bring your doom…

~

 

“He didn’t notice that the lights had changed”…

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~

He opens his eyes,
to Red sky in the morning…

Understanding the message,
he recognises the warning…

Wrapped in natures beauty,
but steeped in superstition…

His heart fills with fear,
at what may come to fruition…

And floods his weak body,
with a nauseating stress…

Such a paralysing power,
that leaves him so helpless…

And open to an attack,
from dark forces within…

The voices in his head and
the Sirens who sing…

As he tries to block them out,
tries so hard to function…

Amidst all the wreckage,
praying for an injunction…

So he can sit on a swing,
as the day slowly passes…

Watching the gliding birds,
through Zen like glasses…

Listening to the sound,
of the creaking, unoiled chain…

Lost in that moment,
with peace in his brain…

A million miles away,
from all that he knows…

The pain in his heart,
like a cancer, it grows…

As the scars he carries,
amongst the mental stresses…

Colour his daily view and
very slowly depresses…

And as that blood Red sky,
brings its visible warning…

He prays he’ll make it through,
to face another morning…

~

“And the world will live as one”…

imagine

~

There has to be
another way…
To make it through
another day…

There has to be
another view…
On all this madness
we’re subjected to…

Another way to live…
Another way to give…

Another way to make
the most of life…
Away from all the stress,
strains and strife…

A way to live in
perfect harmony…
With our minds open
and allowed to see…

With empty hearts,
filled with love…
Delivered to us
on the wings of a
million doves…

Where peace in
our lifetime
is matched in
our souls…
Lennon imagined it
but was it
too big a goal…
How could one
simple song
begin to
fill the many holes…

And where the
hell do we start…
When we see
yet another loved
one depart…

And leave this godforsaken Earth…
Ashes scattered,
no chance of rebirth…

Floating up
towards the sky…
As we’re left here to simply ask
WHY…

Or watching
world wars and all the
fighting…
The soldiers who
kill, are killed
and dying…

And the innocent
victims slaughtered…
Most of us don’t care,
but we really ought to…

Yet we’re too
busy finding ways…
Just to make it
through another day…
Ignoring and blocking
whatever our
conscience says…

Some cheat and
lie and continue
sinning…
The way it’s
been from the
world’s beginning…

Adam and Eve,
Cain and Abel…
The Human race,
is so fucking unstable…

But there has
to be another way…
Can’t we all rise up
and begin to say…
Or take a stand
and do it
today…

Right here, right now…
All we need is
showing how…

There’s always a chance,
to stop the decay…
So let John’s words
light our darkend pathway…

~

“I was feeling insecure, you might not love me anymore”…

~

My first thought in the morning…
And last thought late at night…
I think of her in everything I do…
Even though it’s just not right…

She made a decision long ago…
To follow a different path…
She needed to walk it alone…
I struggled with the aftermath…

I couldn’t bear to think of her…
In the arms of another man…
Holding hands and kissing him…
This was not part of the plan…

She meant everything to me…
And was everything I had…
The greatest love of my life…
I needed her so very bad…

Her eyes contained the universe…
The Sun, the Moon and stars…
Letting her slip through fingers…
Was the root cause of my scars…

Which became a bad depression…
That consumed my broken soul…
Nothing on Earth could mend me…
No other could make me whole…

Then one fateful day I saw her…
Though she didn’t recognise me…
I followed her round for hours…
Would she hear a poor boy’s plea…

But courage was sadly lacking…
Fearing the moment was gone…
I panicked and came up behind her…
And did something so very wrong…

The car park was dark and empty…
Her body was down on the floor…
Gently picking her up in my arms…
It felt just like it was before…

I took her back to my place…
And tied her up on the bed…
Wiped the tears from her eyes…
And gently stroked her head…

I told her “Please don’t panic”
That she belonged with me…
She was forgiven for leaving…
Over time that she would see…

For a few days life was perfect…
And everything just went to plan…
Till I came home to find her escaping…
And that’s when I became THE MAN

Pushing her down the stairwell…
Her neck snapped in the fall…
Not the way it was meant to end…
And I was not very happy at all…

Now she lives in the freezer…
Her body divided into bags…
She’s going to be with me forever…
Despite this unfortunate snag…

My first thought in the morning…
And last thought late at night…
I think of her in everything I do…
Even though it’s just not right…

~

“We may lose and we may win”…

~

So, in the midst of a busy week that has thrown up more questions than answers on a personal matter, this blog was nominated for an award. Nominated twice actually, which really made me smile and was quite humbling.

It is not the first time; you may remember that previously, the lovely Nina from http://wordsthatflowlikewater.wordpress.com/2013/06/06/inspiring-the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/  Nominated this blog for the “Very Inspiring Blog” award – which was really nice of her.

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This achievement has now been followed up by both Richard from http://richardankerswrites.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/the-versatile-blogger-award/ and Christine from http://crissyb315.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/the-versatile-blogger-award/ nominating this blog for the “Versatile blogger award”.  Which again, is really nice and I am truly humbled.

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Both these awards come with things that need to be done and I have to admit, I am pretty poor at these – however, the fact that these awards come from wordpress peers does mean a lot and whilst I have little of interest about myself to do any sort of list, I do feel the need to spread the word of others blogs.

The below are 10 blogs that I read and follow – and I would encourage you to try them out for size – these are just a snapshot as I follow a huge amount – so if your blog isn’t below, it is not reflection on you – more an opportunity.

Please leave a comment and let people know where they can find you – this could be an opportunity for all of us to build up our wordpress base? Not sure if this will even work, but don’t be shy – we all want to be read – even if we do not think what we produce is worth reading!

So, here is a snapshot in addition to the 3 above and in no order:

http://stevehi312.wordpress.com/

http://helenvalentina.com/

http://shakeyourtailfeathers.wordpress.com/

http://busymindthinking.com/

http://kwicksand.wordpress.com/

http://apurvakj.wordpress.com/

http://sagedoyle.wordpress.com/

http://thedrugstorenotebook.co/

http://randomblurting.wordpress.com

https://morganlefaysblog.wordpress.com/

So, a song to leave this ramble – I watched an Eagles documentary last night and really enjoyed it, so have a few tunes floating round in my head – this one is a message for the weekend – “Take it easy” – no more words needed – well, unless you wish to comment!

Enjoy

“The girl that’s driving me mad, is going away”…

~

She’s ringing friends from the airport…
And telling them all the news…
This man gave her a gift of some sort…
And an offer she cannot refuse…

She knows that all this is crazy…
They all think she is a fool…
But she likes making money this lazy…
Even if it means becoming a drug mule…

It’s got to be worth the gamble…
It must be worth the price…
All she has to do is amble…
And try not to even think twice…

They are all hidden in her backpack…
She only has to get through the gate…
And as long as she stays on track…
She’ll be coming home to celebrate…

So she sets off walking…
Smug, feeling clever and great…
Hands her bag in whilst talking…
She’ll charm them like they are her mate…

She possesses a dazzling smile…
It’s worked for her in the past…
An inch taken for every mile…
She’s sure this time won’t be the last…

But the security men are not smiling…
They ask her to follow them in…
A lawyer she soon will be dialling…
She’s no longer smug, lost her grin…

She’s ringing home from the airport…
And telling her family the news…
She cries as she’s put under escort…
And the police begin their interviews…

~

The Music of my Life (ish)…

As with most people, music has always played a big part of my life. From walking round my parents house listening to my mum playing records as a kid, to finding and refining my own tastes as I have gone along. I was asked recently what songs would be included if a movie of my life was to be made and why would I include these tracks in the soundtrack? It’s an interesting one but not a unique premise – in some respects its quite clichéd…

We have seen host of people take this concept on and done very well with it – thinking of the likes of Nick Hornby – and am sure there are plenty more, plus a hundred thousand that no one reads about. Still, I didn’t dismiss the idea as I thought it may have been good fun to try. Yet the thought of it opens ones self up to many pitfalls and that’s before the music snobbery that people tend to have begins to kick in…

Besides, as someone who can’t sing or play any musical instrument, for me it has always been a case of appreciating others talent rather than pursuing anything musical myself. With that in mind, I do not claim to be an expert in song construction, in the BPM or the compression of tune. I do not claim to know what makes a hit single, what lyrics work or don’t work for the masses and frankly, sometimes I just can’t explain why a song appeals to me – it just does – it may just be a rift that catches my attention or a line that sticks. I can’t be the only one who works in this way…

Upon further reflection, I decided to cheat. I mean, where does one even begin to start – so many moments in life – so many songs to choose – surely it would be easier to simply make a list I said to myself! yeah right! – Even that was easier said than done! So after watering down the initial concept to the most weakest form, I decided to write a short list of a few songs that have both appealed and meant something to me during my life and a small synopsis.

There are many more and you have already seen a few in my previous blogs, so I have not added them – It’s also worth pointing out at this junction that these are in no particular order and some of the reasons may not be strictly true, but if you read between the lines and all that. If you click the song title, then you should be taken to a youtube link – provided that has worked – enjoy…

ELO – Mr Blue Sky:  

“Hey you with the pretty face, Welcome to the human race…”

Perhaps this is a surprise choice of mine, simply because I do not normally gravitate towards upbeat and “happy” tunes. However, the reason for this choice is two fold. Firstly, for years and years, there was a small orchestral piece of music that I had heard at some point in time, but could never place it. Hard to explain, but it kicks in right at the end of this song and is quite possibly the best snippet of orchestral music I know – sad to admit that I am a total ignorant twerp when it comes to this music genre – but the string section is just heartbreaking…

I only tied up the fact that it belonged to this song after I downloaded said song from Itunes. In my excitement of actually working out where the snippet of music actually belonged, I made young Ollie listen to the whole song and that’s the second reason why its in here – Ollie loves it. Whenever he is messing around on my phone, you can bet that the song will appear and he will dance across the room – no matter how many times he does that, it’s still a joy to watch…

New Radicals – You get what you give:

“Don’t give up, You’ve got a reason to live…”

If like me, you are a football fan, then you are honour bound to be superstitious when it comes to your team. No matter the reality of the situation, if you don’t put your socks on the right way in a morning, walk the same route to the ground, eat at the same burger van, buy the match day magazine from the same seller, its always YOUR FAULT if the team loses! This song became our “lucky” song on match days. No matter where we were going, or who Leeds United were playing – if this song didn’t get played, the team would lose. Clearly, when we did play it and the team lost, it was due to not playing it at the right time, or the right place – such is life eh?

Elton John – Love Song

“Love is key we must turn, truth is the flame we must burn, freedom the lesson we must learn – Do you know what I mean – Have your eyes really seen…”

Did I mention that I like lyrics??  Stunning, simply stunning piece of writing by Elton. Wrapped up in an elegant melody, it just sits in the middle of the Tumbleweed Connection quietly waiting to be explored. Initially I had it on an old compilation tape given to me by an old friend. At the time, Elton was not “cool” – I mean was he ever? So in youthful naivety it was a tune I skipped a few times and it was much later before it began to catch my attention. Now I can admire if for what it is, a thing of beauty that will out live me…

*Edit – I later found out that Elton didn’t write this – it was Lesley Duncan!

Barry Manilow – Can’t Smile Without you:

“Who would have believed, That you were part of a dream, Now it all seems light years away…”

My mum would be the first to admit, she can’t hold a tune. it’s a gift that she passed on to me! However, her constant killing of this song would never take away from the fact that it just reminds me of younger, happy and I guess naive days. Sure it stinks of cheese and yeah, its chord change heaven, but if you think this song is pure crap, then think again. The arrangement, the lyrics and that voice just combine to make a perfect storm – Its also a double whammy as when Bazza is singing live, he will whisk up some lucky gal on stage and sing it to her – “PICK ME” I screamed from the top tier of the O2 arena in London the other year, but he didn’t hear me! As underrated and belittled as they come, Manilow’s music has a place in my heart and this tune tops the lot…

Del Amitri – Just Like A Man

“And I had something to tell you, but it doesn’t matter now, I’ll stick to small talk and leave the little bits of flattery to him…”

Summer 1992. Leeds United were Champions of England, it should have been the most perfect time – but nothing in life ever runs perfect. If you needed to write a summer break up song, then just pick up the phone and ring Justin Currie for help. The time, the place will remain quietly in a corner and the names will be changed or not mentioned to protect the innocent. However the song tells you all you want to know and perhaps too much more. Its written from the bottom of a deep dark hole and the words just go round and round and round in your head…

Gordon Lightfoot – If You Could Read My Mind:

“I don’t know where we went wrong, But the feelin’s gone, And I just can’t get it back…”

You may have never heard of Gordon – but you will have heard of this song. Its yet another haunting and beautiful tune, yet another example of understated song crafting at its best. Its one of those songs that you might hear on Steve Wrights Sunday Love songs and never hear again for years. It was another given to me on a compilation cd from an old friend, but this one instantly connected and became the track I went back to time and again. It was a strange time in my life when this song connected with me, for a number of different reasons, but the thoughts and memories make me smile…

Beatles – Girl:

“And she promises the earth to me and I believe her…”

I may be wrong and I am not a huge fan, but in amongst the classic tracks spewed out by the machine that was The Beatles appear a couple of tracks that seem to have slipped out of sight. That’s no bad thing and I guess it means that album tracks like this one from Rubber Soul are there for people to discover quietly rather than been rammed down your throat via commercial radio stations or “best of” cds. For me, this one is all about the delivery of the vocals, charged with a melancholy sexual lament and a dark undertone, its just really glorious…

U2 – One:

“Did I disappoint you, leave a bad taste in your mouth…”

Yeah yeah, its been played so many times, its on everyone’s break up cd and its possibly the most over played U2 “Ballard”. The opening rift is on the TV at every “sad or “tragic” opportunity,  so much so that you are bored of it and you think you know it inside out. So f*cking what, listen again, but with fresh ears. This has to be one of the most amazingly heart wrenching songs ever written. I am no Bono fan, infact, I am no U2 fan, but I bet he wished that he could be cemented in the place he must have been in when he wrote this – as nothing since has come close. Of course, my version has a girl and that seems a long time ago, but this tune has the capacity to transport me back in a heartbeat and thats not always a good thing…

Crowded House – Black and White Boy:

“And you put on a wonderful show, Do you really, really think I don’t know…”

Now come on – you didn’t think there would be a list and no Mr Finn in it ? I could honestly write something for just about every song he has ever written, but I am just throwing this one in there. People often complement me for my positive outlook, or they enjoy my company and the misguided comedy genius that sometimes takes over. However there is always another side that most people don’t see and I am sure that’s the same for anyone. I find that there are not many people in life who take the time to scratch the surface of people. Perhaps they are afraid of what lies beneath. Suffice to say, there is balance in life and Neil Finn hit the nail. There are different theories to who or what this song is about and I think Neil likes that. Make you own mind up…