“What I want, is everything to clear”…

angel

~

“Is this what you want?”
she quietly said…

Then searched for a sign,
as her words entered his head…

Where he assessed the situation,
within the darkened room…

Another sinful interaction,
another nail in his tomb…

As he admired her beauty,
her matching underwear…

And under lust’s influence,
he really shouldn’t have cared…

But the voices began talking,
distracting from the moment…

And stood at a crossroads,
he really couldn’t comment…

He wasn’t sure what he wanted,
but she really was all his…

This stunning fucking Goddess,
like a Queen Mermaid fish….

Surrounded by an aura,
like no other he’d met…

From the minute he saw her,
all common sense began to melt…

And in that stolen moment,
his fantasies became real…

But it wasn’t like the movies,
there was more to this deal…

The heavy weight of guilt,
the magnitude of it all…

He was high above the clouds,
it would be a long, long fall…

And pausing for a breath,
he tried to soak it all in…

Burned the vision in his mind,
and then tried to begin…

But his words were futile,
the feeling just overwhelmed him…

And in a moment of weakness,
began a night of pure sin…

~

“I’ll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife”…

eb99dc9e2a0df3471ad86befb48e45d5

~

The hand written confession,
she left by the bed…

Was filled with dark secrets,
from deep within her head…

Revealing her anguish and
stained by her tears…

It was an accumulation,
built up through the years…

She’s now left it behind,
for those close to read…

As her battle scarred soul,
was released and finally freed…

And this detailed explanation,
confessed all her sins…

All the mistakes she made,
whilst encouraged to sing…

By the Devil in her heart,
such a forbidden lover…

Who took full control and
distracted like no other…

She was attracted to him,
like a moth to a flame…

She couldn’t resist him and
she carried that shame…

Along with many secrets,
that she hid from her world…

As she risked everything,
whilst the whirlwind whirled…

And swept her up into,
a deceitful double life…

Rendezvousing with strangers and
sexual encounters in the night…

But the thrill of the moment,
bore the heavy price of guilt…

And the cold morning light,
would waken her demons inbuilt…

Who haunted her days,
till she could take no more…

And when she finished the letter,
she finally ended that war…

~

“I no longer keep my mouth shut”…

bombs-away

~

I can see your lips are moving…

But don’t care what you say…

You use your words like weapons…

Destroying all that you survey…

You make people feel anxious…

Try to make them feel so small…

But your power trip is useless…

And from a dizzy height you’ll fall…

I don’t respect who you are…

And I don’t care what you do…

If you were on fire in front of me…

I wouldn’t begin to try and help you…

Because I see right through your act…

You’re not who you claim to be…

I have witnessed your vicious side…

Perhaps I’m the only one who can see…

That you’re so evil and so vile…

Yet people fall for all your charm…

You cast a spell upon them all…

Somehow they all simply swarm…

And fall right before your feet…

As you stand proud and tall…

Looking down your nose upon them…

Without giving a damn at all…

Your smile is false and painted…

You grin through gritted teeth…

You patronise, they don’t realise…

That you’re a fucking soul thief…

One day, I swear, I’ll reveal you…

One day your empire will collapse…

One day you will feel my fucking wrath…

One day you’ll fall into my trap…

Because I have made it my mission…

You alone are in my sights…

I will bring you to your fucking knees…

And I will haunt your days and nights…

I can see your lips are moving…

But am not listening to what you say…

Because the time has come for me to act…

And avenge everyone you’ve betrayed…

~

“And there’s only one way down”…

photo(1)

~

On top of the world…

Looking out, peering down…

Above the snow white clouds…

Like an eagle flying around…

In the crystal blue skies…

Where the Sun’s rays dance…

He’s hanging by a thread…

And his fate is left to chance…

It’s wrapped inside a whisper…

From so very long ago…

He’s not even sure what happened…

On the Earth spinning far below…

Underneath his tired feet…

As his eyes drift in and out…

His thoughts make little sense…

And his mind is full of doubt…

Should he just forget this…

Or take a leap of faith…

And dive into the clouds…

Falling further into disgrace…

Inside an echo of a memory…

Where the clouds reveal her face…

And eyes that mesmerise his soul…

He yearns for her embrace…

Because words are being repeated…

And he’s heard them all before…

In this world where everything has been…

And everything has gone; It is the law…

The law of this Godforsaken planet…

Where we replay others’ mistakes…

Walking in someone else’s shoes…

Swimming in a dead man’s wake…

They aren’t his, they’re Human…

He’s not the first and won’t be the last…

Simply one of the imperfect sinners…

Who never learned from histories past…

Now he’s on top of the world…

Looking out, falling down…

Flying through the cotton wool clouds…

Until he finally hits the ground…

~

“The only truth is that everything is a lie”…

8807cf3b-bb6d-4d6a-9dfa-2277006d7649-1020x612

~

There’s something broken about her…

And something not quite right…

Something just doesn’t make sense…

Something that keeps her up at night…

It’s something about her past…

And it’s something dark and cold…

Something so unspeakable…

Something that haunts as she grows old…

It’s something she will never escape…

Something she can’t breakthrough…

It’s something out of her control…

And something she can’t tell you…

Something that’s so overpowering…

And something so very emotional…

Something she just can’t explain…

It’s something hiding in her soul…

And something downright nasty…

Something that makes her weep…

Something chills her to the bone…

It’s something secret she must keep…

It’s something that can’t be healed…

Like something inside has died…

Something evil has left a scar…

And something makeup cannot hide…

Something that infects her thoughts…

Something makes her look away…

And something you can see in her eyes…

That something caused this decay…

There’s nothing you can do about it…

Nothing more but pray…

Nothing in this world can mend her…

There’s nothing more to say…

~

“How I wish that I could do this again”…

Neil Finn – London

Neil Finn live at St James' Church Piccadilly

London. Beautiful, enchanting, evocative London. I keep saying it, I keep meaning it. The one place I feel at home. Truly overwhelmed by its majesty, truly enchanted by its spellbinding power. Apt that it was to be my last stop on my Forty for Forty quest. Apt the great Neil Finn awaited my presence.

It had been a tiring week. It was a very tiring day.  A multitude of things conspired, not least a delayed, then broken down train. I found myself in a darkened Kings Cross station, the sky had lost its light and the police were out in force outside, as were an army of Jesus worshippers.

For the first time ever, I chose to spend the night in a hostel. A mixture of adventure and cost cutting. It was easy to find and the receptionist was ultra-polite. My room, number 33, consisted of 2 bunk beds. Minimalistic I think you could call them – Dirty too.

Still, you get what you pay for and after dumping my stuff, it was out into the cold night air. Memories of my previous visit surrounded. Everywhere I looked, there was a reminder of my magical trip to see Nick Cave.

The tube wasn’t as busy as I had feared and with ears full of music, I wandered through the bustling underground until I reached Covent Garden. The gig was in Piccadilly, but I wanted to savour the sights and Christmas lights.

I found the venue and met up with the gathering Frenz. Tradition dictates now that we gather early for Neil Finn gigs. This is as much about community as it is getting a good view at standing or unreserved seat gigs.

This one was the latter as the venue, being a church, had no reserved seats, just pews. The Frenz were in good heart. And as I mentioned here – these people are amazing. And here we were again. Familiar faces, hugs and catching up on what had been going on since we last met.

And the Frenz had come from all over – A gathering of hearts and minds outside a church, But it wasn’t religion or a cult that bound us together in the cold evening air. But a love of music. Not just any music, but a love of Neil Finn. So at this point a reminder, there are gig reviews on the net – this is my experience, not a review.

We were stood outside for what felt like an eternity. Every so often, I would disappear to the venue and try figure out the best way to get my book signed. It was a small place, but 2 entrances. Neil Finn was already inside sound checking, but there was little chance of getting to him.

Even asking some nice church workers for help fell on deaf ears – this was proving to be just as hard as the Nick Cave gig. After hearing a song or two of the sound check, I gave up and decided to wait until after. Which wasn’t a bad thing and by the time my mate arrived with my ticket the queue was suddenly moving.

But it didn’t move far, just from the top gate to the door of the actual church, where we were made to stand around for another 40 minutes before the doors were opened an we entered the venue – all the good folk around me filled the first couple of rows, I was front row – great view other than Neil’s piano cover!

The church was decked out and ready for Christmas. Two huge trees stood proud behind Neil’s grand piano and the lighting made for a warm and welcoming environment. There were chairs for the string section and a smaller piano next to a drum kit. Quite a sparse setting really.

It was around 9pm that Neil finally entered the venue and by then it was packed. There was an eerie feeling in the room and a sense of occasion. This was a showcase for Neil’s upcoming album “Dizzy Heights“. Alongside him were a string section, led by the enchanting Victoria Kelly and a drummer named Chris.

Neil took a bow and sat at the piano, before launching into a song called “Divebomber”. An interesting song that has certainly divided the fans. It feels more like a movie soundtrack and sang all in falsetto, it was certainly a brave opening. Neil carried it off very well indeed.

The song was followed by the title track “Dizzy Heights”, which has had the opposite effect of Divebomber on the fans, indeed, the song has already become a clear favourite amongst many.

Still without really addressing the audience, Neil then went into “In My Blood”, another new song which went down well on the webcast, with such a catchy and soaring chorus about reincarnation. It was well received, as was “White Lies and Alibis”.

Neil was beginning to warm up now and the formal opening began to subside and the usual Finn wit that we have grown to love began to shine through. His next new song was “Lights of New York”, and he had sent out Chris, the drummer to go and get some city sounds to play over the top of the song – he recorded high heels!

Fellow New Zealander Connan Mockasin then joined Neil for a new song called “Gentle Dave”. An interesting one that will need to be listened to a few more times before any verdict is made for sure. The same can’t be said for the instantly catchy “Better Than TV”, which immediately hit home.

“Recluse” was then followed by an older song called “Sinner” – this is one of Neil’s best solo songs from the 1998 album “Try whistling this”. The church lighting went Red and it was played perfectly  – and in such a setting too. “Impressions” was the last of the new songs on the night.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do now” said Finn as the strings and Victoria Kelly left, leaving Neil and drummer Chris. The idea now was a shout out request show and all formality went out of the window.

However, Neil did start with an earlier request. It was our Frenz Val ‘s 100th live show and we had been tweeting Neil to see if he would dedicate a song for her and he did. A supreme piano version of “World Where You Live” leaving Val beaming from ear to ear.

My shout out request for “Faster Than Light” came next, at least, I think it was mine amongst the shouting voices. I claim it regardless!  A faultless rendition of “Message To My Girl” followed, before Neil went “Into Temptation”– once again, a church a rather apt setting for the nature of the song.

It was clear that poor drummer Chris hadn’t quite understood the delicate nature of the song as he thumped along to it. Neil had given him a couple of glances, but at the end of the song, some wag shouted “Taxi For Chris” to which Neil went into a really funny improvisation. Perhaps he realised and spared the drummers blushes.

Someone asked for the obscure “Blue Hotel”, to which Neil couldn’t remeber the words. He asked someone to sing the first line and from the back of the church came a really beautiful and brave voice. Infact, he did it twice as Neil asked him to, but when Neil asked if he could play it on the piano, it was a no – which killed the moment sadly – Neil really has to learn his back catalouge for the tour!

As ever, “Private Universe” was spellbinding, and Victoria Kelly joined the stage for “Anytime” and the final song of the night “Distant Sun”, which had the whole church singing as one. It was over far too soon and the whole audience were on their feet wanting more.

Neil left us hanging and will return next year for a full UK tour. For a showcase, it had a nice balance. I think as a fan, I would have preferred and have been to more looser shows. But todays music business as it is, I think Neil got the balance about right on this one.

And with that, my book signing quest was on. But once again, I have had to leave it with a manager and keep my fingers crossed that the postman will deliver something very soon. By 11 pm, I was heading into central London and enjoying the sights and finding some distraction. The night air of London had a much colder feel tonight.

Sadly, I did not enjoy the hostel and being forced to move rooms at 3am was not fun. Still, another experience to add to my collection! So the Forty for Forty quest is now *paused* till 2014. More on that to come later, but in the meantime, here is the aforementioned “In my Blood” from the night.

Enjoy

“Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane, ain’t got time to take a fast train”…

plane crash independence day

~

They never saw it coming…

At Thirty Five thousand feet…

Jet powered engines humming…

All with connections to meet…

Reclining in the cabin…

Reading books or playing games…

Some listening to music…

Another trip just the same…

Some sleeping like babies…

Some chattering incessantly…

As the cabin crew served drinks…

It all would end prematurely…

When the turbulence first hit…

No one battered an eyelid…

But as the shock waves grew stronger…

The panic was no longer hid…

Like a fairground rollercoaster…

The plane bounced around the sky…

Buckling under the pressure…

Flying into the great storm’s eye…

The captain lit the seat belt sign…

The religious quietly spoke psalms…

As the laughing turned to screaming…

The cabin crew begged for calm…

With nobody to help them…

The plane dropped from altitude…

And was flung around like a child’s toy…

As nature’s forces raged and grew…

The pressures ebbed and flowed…

And the plane began to pitch and creak…

And in one single moment…

The air pressure began to leak…

The storm was unforgiving…

And the captain lost all control…

The damage became substantial…

And the plane tail spun and rolled…

Like a kite without the wind…

It spiralled towards the ground…

And when the fireball exploded…

No survivors would be found…

They never saw it coming…

At Thirty Five thousand feet…

Now desperate souls are rising…

With spiritual connections to meet…

~

“I no longer keep my mouth shut”…

bombs-away

~

I can see your lips are moving…
But don’t care what you say…
You use your words like weapons…
Destroying all that you survey…
You make people feel anxious…
Try to make them feel so small…
But your power trip is useless…
And from a dizzy height you’ll fall…

I don’t respect who you are…
And I don’t care what you do…
If you were on fire in front of me…
I wouldn’t begin to try and help you…
Because I see right through your act…
You’re not who you claim to be…
I have witnessed your vicious side…
Perhaps I’m the only one who can see…

That you’re so evil and so vile…
Yet people fall for all your charm…
You cast a spell upon them all…
Somehow they all simply swarm…
And fall right before your feet…
As you stand proud and tall…
Looking down your nose upon them…
Without giving a damn at all…

Your smile is false and painted…
You grin through gritted teeth…
You patronise, they don’t realise…
That you’re a fucking soul thief…
One day, I swear, I’ll reveal you…
One day your empire will collapse…
One day you will feel my fucking wrath…
One day you’ll fall into my trap…

Because I have made it my mission…
You alone are in my sights…
I will bring you to your fucking knees…
And I will haunt your days and nights…
I can see your lips are moving…
But am not listening to what you say…
Because the time has come for me to act…
And avenge everyone you’ve betrayed…

~

“Smoke drifting up to the Dizzy Heights”…

Subjective, Seductive and Emotional…

One of the great things about having a blog, is to be able to share my thoughts, words and passion with people. Cyber people, strangers and people I have never met but still give me a sense of welcoming and community.

In this place, people accept me, with no questions asked. I can write from wherever the muse guides me and I can subject and project you to infinite versions of myself that you are never going to meet – even if I knew you in real life.

It’s a life with no judgement and a reality that requires no explanation.  I write, you like, you comment, or you don’t – it is as simple as that. On a good day, I hope I make people feel as I do, thrilled to be here – on a bad day, I just throw shit out there and see what sticks.

However, my bad days are always turned around by a kind comment or two, which strokes my ego or validates what I do. Like most who write, there are no amount of good comments that will make me view my words as anything other than just OK rambles.

I write for distraction. I write because at some point in my life, I realised just how much an effect words have had on my life journey thus far. Not just words, but music as well. That Devilish combination of killer lyrics and a haunting melody – I am jealous of anyone who can do it. Singer songwriter is really where it’s at.

Well, that and a hot looking guitar playing chick as per yesterday’s clip. But anyway, I digress. Where was I – yes, music. Subjective, seductive and emotional. Heals the soul they say. I agree. Not all music, but good music. Definition of “good” music – simply anything you find a connection with in my humble opinion.

It took me a long time in my life to realise the significance of those connections we make to songs. It took me a long time to appreciate that we could all listen to a song and not all connect in the same way. It took me a long time to realise that some people didn’t connect with a song I liked at all.

So I arrived late at the “growing up” party and I am not sure I can even claim to have got through the door yet. I now realise that not everyone shares my tastes, but I can still share my music tastes – only now with no expectations.

Over the course of these – wow – 278 posts, I have shared music with strangers. Some of the songs on here are deeply personal. Some so personal, even the connection to the words has had to be blurred or constructed in some way to not let even you, dear strangers see.

However, you will have noted that there is a central theme to the music choices and that is a singer songwriter from New Zealand called Neil Finn. Through Split Enz, Crowded House, The Finn Brothers, Pajama Club and solo work and for most of my life, he has been with me.

His words have soothed, comforted, inspired, and healed. Neil Finn has given me more in this world than many people I know. His music infected me at a young age and when the choice of the day was so much cooler, Finn and his band mates were taking residence in my soul.

Over the years and through my life’s challenges, his music has been the one constant I turn to. There has been a song for all occasions and there have been times when I unashamedly admit I clung onto his words as if they were a life raft. This last 18 month period that saw my father pass and some spectacular karma rain down upon me especially.

His live shows have the canny knack of making me feel alive. His mixture of charm, wit and kindness keep me coming back for more. Too many, today I was challenged to admit how many times I have seen him and I uttered a number in public – it was worth the shock value to see their faces alone.

Within the heady mix of live shows, come the Frenz community. The familiar faces that once were strangers. The people who it takes a while to get to know, starting with a nod and a recognition and then moving on to sharing stories, before becoming acquaintances and ending up a Frenz.

People who – a bit like here – just take you for what you are, no questions asked, no answers sought, but brought together by a common bond of love for artist and music. It’s not religion and it’s not a cult, but it has the feeling of something magical and one that elevates the soul.

Next week in London, I am drawn again. Neil Finn has a new CD out in February called “Dizzy Heights” and you have already heard two tracks on this blog. A third is below. If you so wish, you can consider to pre-order Neil Finn’s CD here – http://neilfinn.com/

Neil is bringing the string section to London led by Victoria Kelly – this is her blog  – http://victoriakellymusic.com/ and Victoria features on the below clip from a webcast the other week. It will now be my last gig of the year after I had to drop my December trip. But what a way to end the year and surrounded by good Frenz.

So, thanks for sticking by this ramble – I am perhaps still a little jetlagged, feeling in a bit of a reflective mood, but make no apologies other than this bloody youtube clip is out of sync – so please take 5 mins to close your eyes and let this wash over you. Normal service will resume tomorrow! This is “Dizzy Heights” – I hope you enjoy – I hope you find a connection – but the world is still a great place if you don’t and you are welcome here anytime!

Enjoy

“And there’s only one way down”…

photo(1)

~

On top of the world…

Looking out, peering down…

Above the snow white clouds…

Like an eagle flying around…

In the crystal blue skies…

Where the Sun’s rays dance…

He’s hanging by a thread…

And his fate is left to chance…

It’s wrapped inside a whisper…

From so very long ago…

He’s not even sure what happened…

On the Earth spinning far below…

Underneath his tired feet…

As his eyes drift in and out…

His thoughts make little sense…

And his mind is full of doubt…

Should he just forget this…

Or take a leap of faith…

And dive into the clouds…

Falling further into disgrace…

Inside an echo of a memory…

Where the clouds reveal her face…

And eyes that mesmerise his soul…

He yearns for her embrace…

Because words are being repeated…

And he’s heard them all before…

In this world where everything has been…

And everything has gone; It is the law…

The law of this Godforsaken planet…

Where we replay others’ mistakes…

Walking in someone else’s shoes…

Swimming in a dead man’s wake…

They aren’t his, they’re Human…

He’s not the first and won’t be the last…

Simply one of the imperfect sinners…

Who never learned from histories past…

Now he’s on top of the world…

Looking out, falling down…

Flying through the cotton wool clouds…

Until he finally hits the ground…

~