“I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed”…

loneliness_of_soul

~

He’ll never understand…
And he’ll never know…

The mental pain she felt…
In simply letting him go…

The chains she unlocked…
To end all the madness…

Freeing his imperfect soul…
Removing all his sadness…

By becoming so distant…
Extracting herself from his life…

She knew it had to be done…
Despite all the strife…

Because she’d fallen too far…
And there was no return…

Leading to an ending…
That would scar and burn…

As he was not hers…
Just an impossible dream…

Which haunted her nights…
With such painful screams…

Leading to such regrets…
Each day of her life…

That he was not in it…
As she replays and rewinds…

But there was no future…
And she had to decide…

Even if it killed her…
So she hid the pain inside…

As his gentle eyes…
Turned from confusion into hate…

Not really understanding…
And now it’s far too late…

The walls are erected…
With the friendship lost…

And no stolen moment…
Was worth this huge cost…

But she had to move on…
And allow her head to drive…

It’s the only way she knows…
It’s the only way she survives…

~

“When did you decide, that I didn’t have enough to buy”…

bird-flying-from-cage1

~

The acidic tone…

Was a stark warning…

But was not heeded…

That Autumnal morning…

The ironic twist…

As the day played out…

The bitter sting…

Leaving no doubt…

Of the path taken…

The decision made…

The signs had been there…

Eyes had started to jade…

Looking so lifeless…

Becoming so dull…

Leaving only one outcome…

The push was the pull…

As a faded attraction…

Got lost over time…

Walking hand in hand…

With a hidden crime…

Tasting like freedom…

That feeling of winning…

Allowing just a glimpse…

Of a new beginning…

One so very tempting…

It forced the change…

And a heartfelt eruption…

Broke free of the chains…

That bound and constricted…

The birds feathered wings…

And enabled its flight…

Allowed it to sing…

Finding a different reality…

In some parallel universe…

Eyes would now sparkle…

Decisions never reversed…

As the heart now beats…

To a different drum…

This soul now reborn…

Its new life begun…

But what gets left behind…

Becomes a game of chess…

A tragedy played out…

Between fearful and fearless…

~

“The silent sound of loneliness”…

Blue Star Kachina - the eye of God

~

Twinkle twinkle little star…
Can you begin to cover her scars…
 
The open wounds that just won’t heal…
And tell the Devil, it was an unfair deal…
 
Because she’s carried them so very long…
And tried so hard to be so strong…
 
But the time has come to simply accept…
And count the tears she’s never wept…
 
Whilst this cruel world has revolved and spun…
And all the years have long since gone…
 
That she’s not the woman she wanted to be…
And it’s becoming clear for all to see…
 
Full of tragic and selfish notions…
Covering up all hint of her emotions…
 
Walking through this life all alone…
Ran away from her childhood home…
 
And into the middle of the big bad city…
Where no one gave her an ounce of pity…
 
Had to get by all alone and scared…
Could have been different if only she dared…
 
To follow her heart and play with fire…
To let go within and feel inspired…
 
But now her life’s in such a mess…
With no one around to ease her stress…
 
And help her eyes to clearly see…
Just how wonderful her life could be…
 
If she just embraced everything…
And began to teach her soul to sing…

But she cannot see the wood for the trees…
And her minds chained up, she’s on her knees…

Sending a silent prayer to the eye in the stars…
Begging them hear and to heal her scars…

~

“I can hold my breath, I can bite my tongue”…

emmil

Yes, she’s back – more words and another song choice from my much loved guest writer Cate…

~

Tap Tap Tap…..

You’re a drug
I’m tapping my arm in anticipation
Also my action to stop this compulsion
Trying to stall rejection
I’m an anonymous addict
You my drug

I can’t get enough
I’m craving your touch in isolation
Also my way to hold on to prevention
Trying to wrestle preservation
I have an endless wanting
You my drug

I don’t hold back
I’m opening body and mind in drowsy titillation
Also my way to lose inhibition
Trying to justify a lack of vision
I’ve closed eyes wide open
You my drug

I can’t stop grazing
I’m giving in to ‘eat me’ temptation
Also my crawl into sweet sensation
Trying to tumble into a hole of oblivion
I’ve slipped and relapsed
You my drug

I can’t halt contact
I’m needing to provoke a reaction
Also opportunity for full interaction
Trying to elicit your inner intervention
I’ll deny in whispers or louder
You my drug

I won’t wait now
I’m urging your willingness for satisfaction
Also to hear of your constant attraction
Trying to force not words but action
I’m ready for venomous reality to bite
You my drug

I have you here
I’m allowing us time for seduction
Also my chance for demonstration
Trying to clamber to a higher elevation
I’m not letting go this time
You my drug

I grip you tighter
I feel the need for completion
Also our keeping up the pretension 
Trying to believe in an eternal connection
I confess for nirvana 
You my drug

~

 

“The silent sound of loneliness”…

Blue Star Kachina - the eye of God

~

Twinkle twinkle little star…
Can you begin to cover her scars…
 
The open wounds that just won’t heal…
And tell the Devil, it was an unfair deal…
 
Because she’s carried them so very long…
And tried so hard to be so strong…
 
But the time has come to simply accept…
And count the tears she’s never wept…
 
Whilst this cruel world has revolved and spun…
And all the years have long since gone…
 
That she’s not the woman she wanted to be…
And it’s becoming clear for all to see…
 
Full of tragic and selfish notions…
Covering up all hint of her emotions…
 
Walking through this life all alone…
Ran away from her childhood home…
 
And into the middle of the big bad city…
Where no one gave her an ounce of pity…
 
Had to get by all alone and scared…
Could have been different if only she dared…
 
To follow her heart and play with fire…
To let go within and feel inspired…
 
But now her life’s in such a mess…
With no one around to ease her stress…
 
And help her eyes to clearly see…
Just how wonderful her life could be…
 
If she just embraced everything…
And began to teach her soul to sing…

But she cannot see the wood for the trees…
And her minds chained up, she’s on her knees…

Sending a silent prayer to the eye in the stars…
Begging them hear and to heal her scars…

~

“I wish it wasn’t always my fault”…

~

I’m so sorry…
I knew that it was wrong…
I’m so sorry…
I heard their message in a song…

I’m so sorry…
They told me what to do…
I’m so sorry…
I didn’t mean to hurt you…

I’m so sorry…
I know my actions caused you pain…
I’m so sorry…
I know I’m the only one to blame…

I’m so sorry…
I’m the one who let you down…
I’m so sorry…
But I can no longer be around…

I’m so sorry…
It’s time to end it all…
I’m so sorry…
On my hands and knees I crawl…

I’m so sorry…
I’m hoping one day you’ll forgive…
I’m so sorry…
But I’ve got no reason left to live…

I’m so sorry…
I just can’t take it any more…
I’m so sorry…
My heart is broken, my head is sore…

I’m so sorry…
I’ve swallowed all these pills…
I’m so sorry…
Now I’m feeling pretty ill…

I’m so sorry…
The world is turning Black…
I’m so sorry…
Don’t think the light is coming back…

I’m so sorry…
Please forget all of my sins…
I’m so sorry…
I can hear the angels playing violins…

I’m so sorry…
It’s now time for me to go…
I’m so sorry…
I always loved you, so you know…

I’m…
So…
Very…
Sorry…

~