“I have become, comfortably numb”…

ang

~

Here he lies sleeping…
Deep underground…

The grass has grown over…
No trace can be found…

Just a simple plot…
With memories and flowers…

So peaceful and so quiet…
I could sit here for hours…

A place that’s so detached…
In a field full of pain…

My mind floods with memories…
Under a sky filled with rain…

Refusing to let emotions show…
Keeping tears locked away inside…

It’s the way he brought me up…
Even now I can’t cry…

It’s all floating around in there…
Yet I keep it all closed…

If I open the box…
I’ll feel so vulnerable, so exposed…

That’s just not an option…
So it’s a choice I have made…

And along with all the others…
Grieving will be forever delayed…

Perhaps this is my weakness…
A sign that I’m not strong…

But don’t lay there and judge me…
Don’t tell me this is wrong…

It doesn’t mean I don’t think about you…
Or what you mean to me…

Maybe one day I’ll resolve this…
Perhaps then I’ll be set free…

Until then you can sleep…
Your body covered in dirt…

Becoming at one with the Earth…
And at peace from all your hurt…

~

“Don’t think, Don’t worry, Everything’s just fine”…

numb-2-blood-man

~

He doesn’t know what…
What you want him to say…

Doesn’t even know…
How he is feeling today…

He doesn’t even know…
What or how to feel…

Yet you ask him to talk…
Ask him to reveal…

You ask him what…
What it is he is thinking…

But his mind is numb…
And his heart is sinking…

All of his life…
He’s kept his emotions at bay…

Don’t you see how easy it is…
Just to lock them away…

If he let them loose…
He would be terrified…

So he keeps them near…
It’s how he’s survived…

It doesn’t mean…
That he’s not keeping you close…

You are the person…
He is needing the most…

Sometimes he needs to be alone…
Open your eyes and see…

Somedays it’s not you…
It’s simply all he can be…

And he has to get through this…
But be true to himself…

So he is leaving the demons…
High on the shelf…

In his dreams they still haunt…
They will always replay…

But it’s a battle he will face…
Some other fucking day…

So please understand…
He can’t do what you do…

He does things his way…
It’s how he gets through…

It’s got him this far…
He’s got to go with his gut…

So the doors are all closed…
And all the windows are shut…

Today it is Black…
Tomorrow may be too…

But no matter what…
Remember he loves only you…

~

 

“I can’t smile without you”…

d-2974

~

She sits all alone…

Remembering the days…

When she felt so safe…

Under his watchful gaze…

Locked in his arms…

Her knight and protector…

He was the only one…

Who made her life better…

And helped her make sense…

Of the world she lived in…

When she wanted to give up…

His words were “keep fighting“…

But since he left her…

It’s been hard to carry on…

Life feels so worthless…

And everything feels so wrong…

With eyes clouded by tears…

That leave their daily mark…

They flow down her face…

Extinguishing any spark…

Of the woman she remembers…

A long time ago…

When her life had a purpose…

And his love set her aglow…

Giving her the courage…

To be free within herself…

To lose all her inhibitions…

Leave her fears on the shelf…

But she sat and she watched…

As his life ebbed away…

Feeling so damn helpless…

Each and every cruel day…

Nothing she could do…

Could stop his cancerous pain…

It was out of her hands…

She was not to blame…

But now she sits all alone…

Not knowing how to move on…

She’s caught in his shadow…

He was her “Sine Qua Non”

~

“Burning in Hell, trying to rise above it”…

2014-05-28_1401279642

~

The cities heart beats…
Throughout the night…
Haunting sirens echo…
Flashing bright lights…
It’s a relentless buzz…
That’s always speaking…
But seldom pausing…
Never, ever sleeping…

With electricity flowing…
Through its veins…
This living entity…
Holds and contains…
Millions of hearts…
Constructed for loving…
But in the darkness…
Most are cheating…

And looking for sin…
Away from the streets…
Down the avenues…
To feel complete…
And fill the void…
The expanding hole…
That needs healing…
Before Devils gain control…

Blinding their eyes…
To the symbol of liberty…
Rising above them…
Higher than the trees…
Standing tall and proud…
A constant conscience…
Persuading eyes to see…
There will be consequence…

Unless they take action…
Learn how to fix things…
Repair the damage…
And grow some wings…
Not sit back and take it…
Or hide within a shroud…
But take charge instead…
Blow away the dark clouds…

And find a place…
To reflect and pause…
Try break the cycle…
Identify the cause…
And make a change…
Because city life goes on…
To another strange day…
And another sad song…

~

“Don’t think, Don’t worry, Everything’s just fine”…

numb-2-blood-man

~

He doesn’t know what…
What you want him to say…

Doesn’t even know…
How he is feeling today…

He doesn’t even know…
What or how to feel…

Yet you ask him to talk…
Ask him to reveal…

You ask him what…
What it is he is thinking…

But his mind is numb…
And his heart is sinking…

All of his life…
He’s kept his emotions at bay…

Don’t you see how easy it is…
Just to lock them away…

If he let them loose…
He would be terrified…

So he keeps them near…
It’s how he’s survived…

It doesn’t mean…
That he’s not keeping you close…

You are the person…
He is needing the most…

Sometimes he needs to be alone…
Open your eyes and see…

Somedays it’s not you…
It’s simply all he can be…

And he has to get through this…
But be true to himself…

So he is leaving the demons…
High on the shelf…

In his dreams they still haunt…
They will always replay…

But it’s a battle he will face…
Some other fucking day…

So please understand…
He can’t do what you do…

He does things his way…
It’s how he gets through…

It’s got him this far…
He’s got to go with his gut…

So the doors are all closed…
And all the windows are shut…

Today it is Black…
Tomorrow may be too…

But no matter what…
Remember he loves only you…

~

 

“The only thing I have to say, it’s been a good year for the roses”…

index

~

Twenty Thirteen limps to an end…

Was it an enemy, didn’t feel like a friend…

Each new beginning we’ll still do the same…

New Year’s resolutions our delusional game…

That we know we’ll seldom keep…

Yet we will never stop to weep…

Forgetting them all in the passing of time…

Only focusing on our daily crimes…

Ultimately making different plans…

Recognising life is out of our hands…

That it’s all part of fate’s twisted story…

Each setback and each victory…

Every year we make the same foolish mistake…

New Year’s resolutions are not ours to make

~

“We may lose and we may win”…

~

So, in the midst of a busy week that has thrown up more questions than answers on a personal matter, this blog was nominated for an award. Nominated twice actually, which really made me smile and was quite humbling.

It is not the first time; you may remember that previously, the lovely Nina from http://wordsthatflowlikewater.wordpress.com/2013/06/06/inspiring-the-very-inspiring-blogger-award/  Nominated this blog for the “Very Inspiring Blog” award – which was really nice of her.

very-inspiring-blogger-award

This achievement has now been followed up by both Richard from http://richardankerswrites.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/the-versatile-blogger-award/ and Christine from http://crissyb315.wordpress.com/2013/08/05/the-versatile-blogger-award/ nominating this blog for the “Versatile blogger award”.  Which again, is really nice and I am truly humbled.

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Both these awards come with things that need to be done and I have to admit, I am pretty poor at these – however, the fact that these awards come from wordpress peers does mean a lot and whilst I have little of interest about myself to do any sort of list, I do feel the need to spread the word of others blogs.

The below are 10 blogs that I read and follow – and I would encourage you to try them out for size – these are just a snapshot as I follow a huge amount – so if your blog isn’t below, it is not reflection on you – more an opportunity.

Please leave a comment and let people know where they can find you – this could be an opportunity for all of us to build up our wordpress base? Not sure if this will even work, but don’t be shy – we all want to be read – even if we do not think what we produce is worth reading!

So, here is a snapshot in addition to the 3 above and in no order:

http://stevehi312.wordpress.com/

http://helenvalentina.com/

http://shakeyourtailfeathers.wordpress.com/

http://busymindthinking.com/

http://kwicksand.wordpress.com/

http://apurvakj.wordpress.com/

http://sagedoyle.wordpress.com/

http://thedrugstorenotebook.co/

http://randomblurting.wordpress.com

https://morganlefaysblog.wordpress.com/

So, a song to leave this ramble – I watched an Eagles documentary last night and really enjoyed it, so have a few tunes floating round in my head – this one is a message for the weekend – “Take it easy” – no more words needed – well, unless you wish to comment!

Enjoy