“My conscience plays upon me now”…

bang-blog

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What are we afraid of…
The dead will tell no lies…

Everything we’ve hidden…
All the things that we despise…

Like skeletons in the closet…
Locked away from view…

Each of us has them…
Every year we add a few…

Memories so painful…
Of all the things we did…

Darkest black and secret…
And all we were forbid…

We knew what we were doing…
Had the freedom of choice…

The fruit we ate was bittersweet…
Laced with Satan’s voice…

Now we keep them quiet…
And try hard to forget…

Moments where we came undone…
Actions we now regret…

But memories cannot hurt us…
Unless we let them out…

So keep them locked up tight…
Don’t succumb to inner doubt…

Accept we all have demons…
Not one is beyond reproach…

None of us are flawless…
As we ride in life’s stagecoach…

It’s part of the experience…
And all part of life’s plan…

Temptation comes in many forms…
For either women or a man…

*

But Eye know what you’re afraid of…

Eye see it in your eyes…

Everything you’ve hidden…

All those sins you can’t disguise…

~

“And dreams hang in the air”…

women snakes apples eve garden of eden_wallpaperswa.com_10

~

Look inside your memory…
None of this is real…

All you think you know…
See or touch and feel…

Everything’s a mirage…
To deflect what’s going on…

Life is one big film set…
You’re a lyric in its song…

All that is around you…
Is just one big illusion…

“They” rely on compliance…
And thrive on your confusion…

Step back; you can see it…
And try to break through…

Escape from all those chains…
And you’ll witness life anew…

It’s not what you thought…
Or how you once believed…

All that has been taught…
Is how “They” have deceived…

We work for the rich men…
Who laugh at the poor…

If you think there is equality…
You need to reveal more…

And understand what’s going on…
Outside your buried head…

Because people are so wicked…
And won’t care when you’re dead…

Start to ask some questions…
Don’t stop; just keep on probing…

Once you’ve got your foot in….
The door of truth keeps opening…

Allowing you to dig a little deeper…
Scratch the surface of your life…

It’s a place filled with misery…
Tears and death and strife…

A place where all innocence…
Is cruelly ripped away…

A place where no one notices…
The beauty of a dawning day…

A place where liberty in death…
Is the only one true freedom…

One thing we can all agree…
This is no Garden of Eden…

It’s time to stop the dreaming…
See things for what they are…

They call this “Hell on Earth”
That’s more truth than lie by far…

~

“But half of me, deserves everything he gets”…

Hiding_in_the_Shadows_by_mashalevene

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He’s found a way to live…
Devoid of all emotion…

A simple trick of the mind…
Sets the wheels in motion…

Locking it all away…
Preventing any tears…

That would flood his eyes…
If he remembered all the years…

The good times and the bad…
All his stupid mistakes…

On the road that he has travelled…
The decisions that he’s made…

In the search of some distraction…
Whilst hiding in plain sight…

But distorting his reality…
Under cover of the night…

Where he becomes another…
Assumes that personality…

The one that he keeps hidden…
So no one else can see…

Like Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde…
At the flick of a switch…

Sees a quick transformation…
Like a spell cast by a witch…

Turning to the dark side…
Tuning into evil thoughts…

Listening to the demons…
Forgetting all he’s been taught…

And living in the shadows…
Searching for like minds…

Those who understand him…
Not judging what they find…

But then he forgets it all…
In the light of the morning sun…

Pretends it never happened…
And moves on, starts to run…

Like a scared little child…
A boy just like Peter Pan…

Who never really grew up…
Or understood life’s plan…

Trapped in a prison…
His own private cell…

He can never escape it…
Some days it feels like Hell…

So he’s now found a way…
To live without emotion…

It’s how he exists…
It’s the path he has chosen…

~

 

“I have become, comfortably numb”…

ang

~

Here he lies sleeping…
Deep underground…

The grass has grown over…
No trace can be found…

Just a simple plot…
With memories and flowers…

So peaceful and so quiet…
I could sit here for hours…

A place that’s so detached…
In a field full of pain…

My mind floods with memories…
Under a sky filled with rain…

Refusing to let emotions show…
Keeping tears locked away inside…

It’s the way he brought me up…
Even now I can’t cry…

It’s all floating around in there…
Yet I keep it all closed…

If I open the box…
I’ll feel so vulnerable, so exposed…

That’s just not an option…
So it’s a choice I have made…

And along with all the others…
Grieving will be forever delayed…

Perhaps this is my weakness…
A sign that I’m not strong…

But don’t lay there and judge me…
Don’t tell me this is wrong…

It doesn’t mean I don’t think about you…
Or what you mean to me…

Maybe one day I’ll resolve this…
Perhaps then I’ll be set free…

Until then you can sleep…
Your body covered in dirt…

Becoming at one with the Earth…
And at peace from all your hurt…

~

“I was snug as fuck”…

fuck1

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The days are warm…
But the nights are cold…

And that summer feeling…
Feels so very old…

A long time ago…
A dim, distant memory…

Of us fooling around…
Just you and me…

Experimenting…
Fearless and naked…

Not looking out…
For anything sacred…

Young and naive…
And just having fun…

Our eyes being opened…
To what could be done…

Dark, sinful pleasures…
And sexual desires…

Touching each other…
Lighting our fires…

Lost in the moment…
The kiss and the tease…

Satisfying our hunger…
Both eager to please…

But as your eyes…
Were drawn to another…

I spat out my anger…
And jealousy smothered…

Everything we’d built…
All I thought I knew…

I couldn’t handle my feelings…
And took them out on you…

I pushed you away…
And isolated myself…

Watching you bloom…
As I sat sadly on the shelf…

I lost the warmth…
As you turned colder…

And I regret my actions…
Now that I’m older…

~

“I might tell you to your face, but only when you’re gone…”

2013-12-17-DreamsCloudDreamInterpretationWhyDoWeDream1

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Why are we here…
Don’t have too much time…

Ticking clock brings fear…
Inside the daily grind…

Embarked on a journey…
Dealt the dummy hand…

Doesn’t feel as funny…
When boy becomes the man…

We don’t know the truth…
No answer or insight…

Robbed of our youth…
On that dark November night …

Alone on this sphere…
Will we ever find out…

Will “they” make it clear…
Remove any doubt…

What is our mission…
The real masters plan…

A slave to suspicion…
Ramblings of a madman…

We’re just a speck of light…
A tiny piece of dust…

Some of us take flight…
Bystanders shall rust…

We believed it all mattered…
We cared what they thought…

Acquaintances now scattered…
Admiring trinkets they were bought…

They meant nothing to you…
But everything to me…

A moment so true…
Burnt into my memory…

We can’t comprehend…
Dare not shed a tear…

Drawn towards the end…
Another day, another month, another year…

 ~

“Someday, someday Leeds United”…

index

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We can’t let her go…
Our passion, our pride…

That forces us to shout…
Whilst stood by her side…

The commitment, the desire…
The deep burning fire…

That makes us follow everywhere…
Without thought, without care…

Leaving us lost for words…
Sometimes flying high, with the birds…
And on top of the world…

Some days not so strong…

And only echoes of the song, still remain…
Ghosts of past glory, matched with ongoing pain…

From our early days…
In a White rose tinted haze…

The good, the bad and the fearless…
To real glimpses of success…

Standing tall amongst giants…
Holding her own, a champion defiant…

Then the mighty fall…
We stood by it all…

The crash and corruption…
Every possible disruption…

The lies and deceit…
Goldfish with no receipt…

The fire sale selling…
False words they were telling…

On her behalf…
Behind headlines and photographs…

She became a clown…
That dragged us down…

No smiles around…
No joy to be found…

And to the brink…
Where our hearts did sink…

And became eroded…
As the relationship corroded…

For every one smile…
She gave once in a while…

There were so many periods of misery…
And constant instability…

As others took her over…
Looking for exposure…

A new start, a new era…
Where we could again believe in her…

But it always fell short…
Each mission ended in abort…

Years of disillusionment and apathy…
Mixed with mental hurt and agony…

Leaving her beaten and damned…
In the midst of no man’s land…

Whilst still famously hated…
Vilified and berated…

And sometimes today…
Amidst all that they say…
We view her in a different way…
Causing hearts to decay…

Like something has died…
Deep down inside…
Our once dear White bride…

But we continue Marching On…
It’s part of the deal, the words of a song…
She’s still so right, still so wrong…
And where our hearts belong…

We’ll Keep Fighting

~

“Share the same space for a minute or two”…

man

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He’s got a mental disorder…
Affecting his brain…

It’s why he keeps on running…
Back to her again…

At every opportunity…
And any chance he gets…

He finds his way to her…
And tries hard to forget…

The pressures and strains…
That surround his tired eyes…

His stressful environment…
Which forces him to cry…

And pine for her excitement…
The adventure she brings…

Because wandering around her…
Makes his heart sing…

Giving him chance to reflect…
To make sense of it all…

And where all his mistakes…
Vanish in her seductive call…

Those open, sore wounds…
The deep and painful scars…

Overfilled with fear and hate…
Like some flooded reservoir…

Leaving him quietly praying…
For something to hold…

To keep him afloat…
Whilst out of all control…

As when he’s feeling so lost…
In his distorted reality…

She gives him distraction…
And moments of pure clarity…

Much needed perspective…
Arrives when she is so close…

And next to her beauty…
He’s like an imperfect rose…

Out of his natural habitat…
And growing out of place…

But when he sees her light up…
A smile crosses his face…

Because this mental disorder…
May affect his brain…

But nothing can ever hurt him…
When he’s in her arms again…

~

“Don’t think, Don’t worry, Everything’s just fine”…

numb-2-blood-man

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He doesn’t know what…
What you want him to say…

Doesn’t even know…
How he is feeling today…

He doesn’t even know…
What or how to feel…

Yet you ask him to talk…
Ask him to reveal…

You ask him what…
What it is he is thinking…

But his mind is numb…
And his heart is sinking…

All of his life…
He’s kept his emotions at bay…

Don’t you see how easy it is…
Just to lock them away…

If he let them loose…
He would be terrified…

So he keeps them near…
It’s how he’s survived…

It doesn’t mean…
That he’s not keeping you close…

You are the person…
He is needing the most…

Sometimes he needs to be alone…
Open your eyes and see…

Somedays it’s not you…
It’s simply all he can be…

And he has to get through this…
But be true to himself…

So he is leaving the demons…
High on the shelf…

In his dreams they still haunt…
They will always replay…

But it’s a battle he will face…
Some other fucking day…

So please understand…
He can’t do what you do…

He does things his way…
It’s how he gets through…

It’s got him this far…
He’s got to go with his gut…

So the doors are all closed…
And all the windows are shut…

Today it is Black…
Tomorrow may be too…

But no matter what…
Remember he loves only you…

~

 

“Somebody said dignity was the last to leave”…

eye

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His eyes are stale and lifeless…
Sitting alone in his chair…

Struggling to recall the time…
He could do more than just stare…

His mind is so much older…
Time has ravaged his thoughts…

Destroying all his memories…
Forgetting all he was taught…

It’s a struggle for him to speak…
To even find any words…

His sentences get cut adrift…
Distracted by the passing birds…

Hands that were once weapons…
Now hang sadly at his side…

He cannot even stand alone…
They’ve stripped him of all pride…

It used to be so different…
For this bright and intelligent man…

He had everything he wanted…
The master of his own life plan…

Yet it was all taken so quickly…
They took his wife, then child…

Left him broken and shattered…
Even then he remained so mild…

Dignified and so defiant…
In the face of all that pain…

But when they came back for him…
The Gods attacked his brain…

It was the only way to beat him…
To take his remaining sanity…

Now he sits silently before them…
Yet refuses to go on bended knee…

He remains a total gentleman…
A credit to the Human race…

They have done their worst to him…
Yet kindness still radiates from his face…

And his story is nearly over…
But one day it should be told…

Bad things happen to good people…
And nothing can ever be foretold…

Nothing should be taken for granted…
Because in just a single stroke…

Everything can be changed…
And sadness replaces the joke…

His eyes are stale and lifeless…
Sitting alone in his chair…

His family do not have the time…
Does anyone really care…

~