Long time friend and supporter of this blog Nathan returns with a heartbreaking poem as tonight’s Guest Poet

You can read more of Nathan’s work here https://randompoemswithnohome.wordpress.com

If you would like to partake in Guest Poet Week during January 2017, please submit your words to eyewillnotcry@hotmail.co.uk before 6th Jan 2017

Cheers
J

I’m standing at your door
soaked with panic and fear.
I love you so much!
Please be okay!
is all that runs through my
saddening, stifled mind as
I slip my frenzied note
beneath the breath of your door.

I wanted to marry you that week,
infusing a life we wanted
a little bit sooner because
I needed to save you.
I failed.

I failed because our wedding date
is just around the corner…
December 14, 2016, and you died.

I was too desperately late
to hack your email account,
posting a message as you
on your Facebook wall
delivering justifiable cause
for the police to enter your room.

I was too late as I listen
to your last, urgent voicemail
that prays for me to come over now
because you’re taking all your meds
…and all the heroin
you had.

I had no idea the holidays
would sigh with so much pain.
Days pile on with anxious guilt,
with blame becoming like blades
slicing the eloquent edge
of a sorrowed song
into me.

I know your smell because
your perfume and portraits
are sprinkled throughout this home.
This home that should be
ours.