“My head is full of voices and my house is full of lies”…

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~

The letter that never got written…
The words stuck in her head…
Things she wanted to tell him…
Too late now he is dead…
The thoughts she never told him…
The way he made her feel…
Scars she carries so deeply…
She knows they’ll never heal…

Her soul is somehow broken…
Her head is all fucked up…
He wasn’t totally responsible…
But the part he played built up…
She feared his silent glare…
And opening up old wounds…
His ears were deaf to her issues…
His blind eyes left her confused…

And walking this Earth alone…
Making her own mistakes…
But as soon as she made one…
His anger felt like hate…
She never had a conversation…
Just danced round the room…
Like a baby elephant…
Keeping her feelings cocooned…

She followed him like a sheep…
So very meek and mild…
Yet in fear of her shepherd…
Who could turn so very wild…
He never understood her…
What rang all her bells…
He never scratched the surface…
And that’s why she rebelled…

She tried to find the good in him…
Carry it wherever she goes…
And forget all of his bad points…
But it’s not helping her grow…
Or directing at the crossroads…
Is it left or is it right…
Her heart forever conflicted…
It’s a constant inner fight…

Too late for recriminations…
Too late to reveal this now…
She’ll never get any answers…
But has to get through somehow…
This is her letter she’ll never write…
The words remain in her head…
Things she should have said to him…
Too late now he is dead…
~

8 responses to ““My head is full of voices and my house is full of lies”…

  1. Remorse… What a sad and disturbing thing to feel and carry. 🙂

    But maybe in the after life when they will meet.
    If fate wills it.
    Then she can say all those kind words.
    And unburden her cross.

    A very nice write again J. 🙂

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