“I will let you down, I will make you hurt”…

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~

He never really knew you…
Only knew your name…
It made him feel so sick…
And he carried so much shame…

Deep within his heart…
And so far down inside…
Now that you are gone…
He’s glad that you have died…
 
It removed any doubt…
Or the slightest possibility…
Of ever running into you…
Or him ever having to see…

You with his own eyes…
And talk uncomfortably…
In front of a total stranger…
Behind a mask of bravery…
 
And speak such hollow words…
That would really mean fuck all…
Such feeble conversation…
Where worthless words would fall…

He buried you a long time ago…
Deep within his memory…
Pretended that you didn’t exist…
A ghost no other could see…
 
He moved on with the task in hand…
Of growing up alone…
In another time and place…
And somewhere he renamed home…

Where you did not belong…
And he really did not care…
You were already dead to him…
And a secret he could not share…
 
Because he never really knew you…
And you never took the time…
To even so much as contact him…
And ask if he was FINE

But now he’s all alone…
With doubts but without you…
Fucking life up his own way…
But somehow he’ll get through…

~

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