“I try so hard to get it right”…

~

“They” are forcing me… To shut myself down…
And stop communicating… From extrovert and clown…

To becoming so silent… Adrift in my head…
No longer expressing… Nor vocal words said…

Just sitting in corners… And waiting to see…
If there is anything left… Of the man that was me…

It’s like being in prison… Silence binds and restricts…
Nobody around to talk to… My inner thoughts conflict…

It’s so damn frustrating… The reasons unclear…
What was the problem… What did “they” fear…

Sat in pure cold isolation… It’s all so quietly black…
No answers from the shadows… I want my old life back…

Standing front and centre… Speaking to the crowd…
Telling funny stories… Laughing out aloud…

It’s a distant memory… Not the here and not now…
Am trying hard to adjust… But not really sure how…

How the fuck did I get here… How much more can I take…
This is beginning to feel… Like one huge mistake…

Not sure of my options… It’s not clear what to do…
Like a rat in a corner… Trapped thoughts ensue…

I need to find resolution… And find strength right now…
It’s the only way to change… Show myself freedom somehow…

~

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