“When you get back home, maybe I’ll be gone”…

dis·trac·tion
n.
1. The act of distracting or the condition of being distracted.
2. Something, especially an amusement, that distracts.
3. Extreme mental or emotional disturbance; obsession:

Distraction.

I think that’s what I’m doing. I am always trying to find ways of doing it. So, yes, if I am honest, I am trying to perfect the art of distraction. Sometimes knowingly, sometimes unwittingly. Either way, it’s what I do and I guess, looking at the bigger picture, it’s what we all must do.

The more I get to think about it, if life’s about the beginning and the ending, everything inbetween must be a distraction. It’s a textured thing, with many layers and what or how we do it is bloody important, it should not be something we take lightly.

But lets face it, the day to day tasks are merely a way of distracting our minds away from life’s bigger picture. Otherwise, we would spend all day looking at the reality that, one day we are all going to die.

Or do we look at this as levels of thought, death being the most extreme, with the next level down, that we are all but ants on a spinning rock in the middle of the vastness of space. Worrying when the next big rock will hit, or the Moon float away, or the Sun run out of fuel and heat.

Or the next level, when will the next world war start, which mad dictator will be next to press the button and cause mass death or destruction. Or release the virus that will see us all akin to flesh eaten zombies trying to kill each other. Ok, I know that this is a very simplistic view of this topic!

What would the next level be – more regional but with a hint of global about it? The banks, the economy, the corporations, the finance, the conspiracies, the terrorists, the secret groups, the men with handshakes or the secret nods. I haven’t even factored in life on Mars and UFO’s yet have I?

But whilst there are few who probably don’t distract themselves on a daily basis and spend time worrying about all the above, the rest of us just focus on family, work, our financial and spiritual well being. The football, the rugby, the music, the bands, the Facebook, the Twitter, the wanker cuting down trees next door, the price of milk or the idiot who cut us up on the road etc etc.

Who needs to worry about the bigger picture when these take up all our thinking time. Yet my distractions at the moment are much needed. I dare not look at the bigger picture. I simply try block it out. I guess I always have to an extent. Block it out or run away from it.

Family, work, music, writing, football and finance. All my current distractions. All take my focus off what is really happening elsewhere. The madness that has surrounded me for so long. Tonight, it feels like we are coming to the end point of part of it. I kissed Dad and told him I loved him. Looking at him, it could well be the last time.

I’m not sure how I feel tonight. Numb in many respects, numb and once again turning to writing and music as a distraction. Other factors are impacting today, A tough day in the office, Young Ollie in tears at seeing his Grandad the way he is. It’s also the anniversary of Paul Hester taking his own life.

All feed in, all fuel the need for distraction. I suppose, it’s what I have become good at, so I do it.

So apologies for the ramble, but thanks for sticking with me. I know that I have used this clip before, but it is apt. If you know the words, sing it for Paulo…

Cheers…

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