“It’s true, I’m missing you and I stand alone inside your room”…

So it’s been a strange week in many ways. The main reason has been dads birthday this week. On top of that suprising work stuff and also because young Ollie has been away on a school trip. He’s had such a good time, come back shattered and emotional. He found it really easy in parts, but struggled in others, especially as it was his first full week away.

On the other side of that particular coin, it was a week where we could remember what it was like pre: parenthood. Like Ollie, it was really easy in parts, but we struggled in others! A trip to the coast, a trip to the cinema, a meal out – all the things that we used to take for granted before family life kicked in were all fun.

They also served as a much needed distraction from the ongoing reality at my parents house – what feels like a never ending soap opera of misery as death hangs, waiting, biding its time. However, not a moment went passed when we didn’t wonder what Ollie was up to, what he was thinking or doing. It’s like we are now wired differently now. We missed him so very much and on so many levels.

No grumpy arguments about socks on a morning. No FIFA arguments on the PS3. No grumbles about having vegetables on his plate. No messing around with the remote control. No requirement for being dads taxi. Most of all, no bedtime stories or a boy to tuck into bed. Just an empty house and his empty room.

It got us thinking about the very near future, when Young Ollie starts to spread his wings more. It will start slowly of course, spending more time out of the house with his mates, or more trips with school or scouts. Eventually there will hopefully be university and he will be gone. Into the great wide open.

All part of life and I have written before about knowing can’t hold on to him forever. However it’s going to be hard, really hard if this week was anything to by. It comes to all parents of course. I never even gave mine a second thought when the time came to escape. I just saw freedom and ran for it. I never even stopped to think about what I left behind, that wasn’t my problem.

The tables will soon be turned and I just hope that when young Ollie heads for freedom, it is without that feeling of needing to escape that I encountered. That will at least soften the blow. Anyway, his return was a great moment and provided the highlight of the week. Jumping off the bus with a huge smile, running for a hug – not even caring about any of the other kids seeing him – which is something that has just begun to kick in on school morning drop offs.

A cool moment in this tough week! So in keeping with the empty nest feelings this ramble has provoked, this song is aptly titled “Silent House”. The clip holds pretty special memories for me as it is taken from a tiny gig from Stowe School in 2007.It was a benefit gig thrown by the Barnes family and Neil jetted in especially to play.

Myself and a few other Frenz braved Arctic conditions to attend and we were rewarded with a superb show and the chance to hang out with a jetlagged Neil afterwards. if you look closely at the beginning of the clip, the man holding the camera phone is yours truly !


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