“When tomorrow comes, we may not be here at all”…

Hearts full of darkness…

Thoughts of pure lust…

Feeling so restless…

Abusing the trust…

Tired of weaving a web…

Of lies and deceit…

“It’s time” they said…

No more need to be discreet…

Escaping their chains…

Shattered worlds left behind…

Scribbled letter explains…

Their reasons outlined…

The further they travelled…

The heavier their load…

Their lives became unravelled…

Down the ice covered road…

The bend came so quick…

No time to adjust…

Brakes would not stick…

The lovers began to combust…

Hells fire consumed…

Two souls now gone…

In the ice they’re entombed…

Dark whispers at dawn…

“I’m an ordinary guy”…

~

It wasn’t his fault…
They fooled him again…
Unlocked the inner vault…
And the nightmares began…

They began to invade…
And poisoned his head…
They made sure he paid…
For the things that he’d said…

He’d said such cruel words…
And inflicted much pain…
The Blackest of Black birds…
Some said he was insane…

Both insanity and madness…
Distorted his view…
And the underlying sadness…
Which nobody knew…

He kept it all hidden…
And locked it inside…
A true love forbidden…
Till the day that she died…

They set fire to his dreams…
And laughed as she burned…
Still haunted by her screams…
An open verdict was returned…

Now a lost and lonely man…
He’s stripped of any pride…
No fight left against lifes masterplan…
He’s broken, paranoid and terrified…

This wasn’t his fault…
Life fooled him again…
Inside his inner vault…
The nightmares remain…

~

“When you get back home, maybe I’ll be gone”…

dis·trac·tion
n.
1. The act of distracting or the condition of being distracted.
2. Something, especially an amusement, that distracts.
3. Extreme mental or emotional disturbance; obsession:

Distraction.

I think that’s what I’m doing. I am always trying to find ways of doing it. So, yes, if I am honest, I am trying to perfect the art of distraction. Sometimes knowingly, sometimes unwittingly. Either way, it’s what I do and I guess, looking at the bigger picture, it’s what we all must do.

The more I get to think about it, if life’s about the beginning and the ending, everything inbetween must be a distraction. It’s a textured thing, with many layers and what or how we do it is bloody important, it should not be something we take lightly.

But lets face it, the day to day tasks are merely a way of distracting our minds away from life’s bigger picture. Otherwise, we would spend all day looking at the reality that, one day we are all going to die.

Or do we look at this as levels of thought, death being the most extreme, with the next level down, that we are all but ants on a spinning rock in the middle of the vastness of space. Worrying when the next big rock will hit, or the Moon float away, or the Sun run out of fuel and heat.

Or the next level, when will the next world war start, which mad dictator will be next to press the button and cause mass death or destruction. Or release the virus that will see us all akin to flesh eaten zombies trying to kill each other. Ok, I know that this is a very simplistic view of this topic!

What would the next level be – more regional but with a hint of global about it? The banks, the economy, the corporations, the finance, the conspiracies, the terrorists, the secret groups, the men with handshakes or the secret nods. I haven’t even factored in life on Mars and UFO’s yet have I?

But whilst there are few who probably don’t distract themselves on a daily basis and spend time worrying about all the above, the rest of us just focus on family, work, our financial and spiritual well being. The football, the rugby, the music, the bands, the Facebook, the Twitter, the wanker cuting down trees next door, the price of milk or the idiot who cut us up on the road etc etc.

Who needs to worry about the bigger picture when these take up all our thinking time. Yet my distractions at the moment are much needed. I dare not look at the bigger picture. I simply try block it out. I guess I always have to an extent. Block it out or run away from it.

Family, work, music, writing, football and finance. All my current distractions. All take my focus off what is really happening elsewhere. The madness that has surrounded me for so long. Tonight, it feels like we are coming to the end point of part of it. I kissed Dad and told him I loved him. Looking at him, it could well be the last time.

I’m not sure how I feel tonight. Numb in many respects, numb and once again turning to writing and music as a distraction. Other factors are impacting today, A tough day in the office, Young Ollie in tears at seeing his Grandad the way he is. It’s also the anniversary of Paul Hester taking his own life.

All feed in, all fuel the need for distraction. I suppose, it’s what I have become good at, so I do it.

So apologies for the ramble, but thanks for sticking with me. I know that I have used this clip before, but it is apt. If you know the words, sing it for Paulo…

Cheers…

“Hold me in your arms”…

~

In everyway…

You are the one…

Brighten my day…

My warmth, my sun…

A soulmate, my guide…

So special, so sweet

You fill me with pride…

With you I’m complete…

When I’m lost in the Black…

You show me the light…

When I begin to crack…

You force me to fight…

When you are around…

This child’s a better man…

You never fail to astound…

Girl,  I’m your biggest fan…

~

“Do you hear what I’m thinking, is it how you imagined”…

She sits and she waits…
She’s biding her time…
To deliver the message…
From a source so divine…

She hears people talking…
A constant buzz in her head…
She didn’t ask for these powers…
Or messages from the dead…

Some pass on warnings…
Some tell her lies…
How can she distinguish…
When the voices make her cry…

Are they for real…
Or are they just fake…
It’s been so long now…
Caused so much heartache…

Sometimes in her dreams…
Sometimes she’s awake…
She can’t switch them off…
How much more can she take…

They tell her the things…
No one else could ever know…
It makes so much sense…
Or does it add to her show…

Is she a fraud…
Doing it just for attention…
Is she for real…
A conduit for another dimension…

They think she is mad…
Treat her like a fool…
They write her off as crazy…
People can be so very cruel…

Should we believe…
And fall into the trap…
Could we open our minds…
Allowing realities to overlap…

Or should we dismiss…
Point out the deception…
But doubts may remain…
Altering our own perception…

She sits and she waits…
But committing no crime…
This message is important…
Will they hear her this time…

“I need a dragon-slayer, who can save me from myself”…

~

Switching it down…
Turning it off…
Cruel thoughts take over…
Did he do enough…

Did he live his life…
With dignity…
Did he treat people…
How he treated me…

Did he take the time…
Or make the effort…
To make a difference…
No ones perfect…

Did he talk to you…
Like he spoke to me…
Did he make you feel…
Bitter and sad or simply happy…

Did he earn respect…
Or was it demanded…
Was he truthful and honest…
Or underhanded…

Did he make you scared…
Were tears in your eyes…
Did he walk away…
And ignore your cries…

Did he build a bridge…
Or just walk the line…
Did he attack people…
Who commited the crime…

Did he break the rules…
And live life to the full…
Was he a rebel…
Or just a simple fool…

Did he do it right…
Was his way wrong…
Did he fuck it up…
Was he ever really strong…

Did he make you proud…
Could he even see…
Was he really the man…
I see in front of me…

Did he fight to the end…
Or did he just give in…
We know the answer…
It haunts within…

Why did he let it get in…
Deep inside his head…
This “Dirty Fucking Creature”…
Making him wish he was dead…
~