“Change Everything”…

Have to say, that on so many levels, 2012 has been a year of change in my life…
Not just small things, but life changes that – in isolation – could be viewed as good. However, the scale and speed of some of the changes that myself and my family have been faced with have been quite challenging to say the least…

At work, I embrace changes and I love to challenge the routine way of doing things. I hate the “that’s how its always been done “philosophy in the work place. Process is there to be reviewed, streamlined and improved. I love to spot even the smallest tweak that could assist make someone or something more effective…

Yet, at home it’s the opposite. I want  things in place so I can worry about as little as possible. I want security for my family and to ensure that things run smoothly and to plan. Of course, there is the flexibility and spontaneity that every household hopes for, but by and large, if it isn’t broken at home, I don’t tend to try fix it…

If I listed everything that has happened this year, I would depress myself and perhaps be accused of holding a pity party in my head, so I won’t. However, things such as dual redundancies, my father diagnosed with cancer and subsequent depression have far reaching implications on both financial and emotional levels. Others such as young Ollie moving to big school, or the car needing changing are par for the course and in the grand scheme of things are pretty insignificant, but put a lot of small and a few large things in the pot, then suddenly there is the capacity and tendency for the smallest of molehills to become a mountain. I am sure that everyone goes through this and I am sure that our changes are trivial compared to the world where someone else lives and I know that I am lucky in so many respects…

During this year, I have also learned an awful lot about myself and not all of it has been good. I have perhaps not coped as well I I would like or as well as I would have expected myself to. I guess being honest with yourself is hard. Others perhaps see this as a weakness and would prefer to brush things under the carpet. I have found that this makes things worse for me…

Yet at the same time, I envy people who experience the trials of life and just move on so fast. Not bothering to look at the situation, work out what lessons could be learned and perhaps learn how not to repeat the same mistakes again. Not that in our situations the mistakes have all been in our control, because they haven’t.  That is perhaps the scariest thing, that life changes occur when you least expect it and unlike a process or a procedure at work, they are beyond any control…

That could and should be embraced, but sometimes, you just cant see the trees for the wood. They say everything happens for a reason – I am yet to be convinced! However, I am open minded enough to believe it  – I just need to be shown it…

There is little point to this post other than therapy, bit of a ramble, so thanks for staying with me and as a treat, here be a great song from Del Amitri – apt that the album this is from is called “Change Everything”! It was on heavy rotation in my youth and I will now revisit it via Itunes!
Cheers
J

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