Victory…

ghgh

~

At the end of a tunnel…
Scrambling into moonlight…

Somehow I’m still standing…
After such a bitter fight…

Not sure how I got here…
Can’t explain what I’ve done…

As the battles I’ve experienced…
All seem to blur into one…

And I don’t feel very special…
I’m not feeling worldly wise…

Despite what I’ve witnessed…
Through these aging eyes…

As I look at the night sky…
And search through the clouds…

Gazing into a star filled void…
Past the Moon’s regal shroud…

Made to feel so insignificant…
Left feeling so very small…

I’m just tiny speck of dust…
In the grand scheme of it all…

Carrying the weight of my history…
But always hiding from my past…

Where decisions I have taken…
Became scars that will last…

Assimilated on this journey…
Like chapters of a book…

Sometimes they felt prewritten…
Other times just downright luck…

Where nobody really understood…
Yet felt they had the right…

To tell me how I should feel…
Never understanding my plight…

And by trying to protect myself…
From those inflicting cruelty…

The mental war grew darker…
As demons just surrounded me…

Trying to drown me as I swam…
Against the vicious and cold tide…

Now they tell me this is victory…
But inside my soul has died…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Present Tense” by Pearl Jam

Vanished…

hojqg

~

When I close my eyes…
And I give into sleep…

The dreams have gone…
It’s black and it’s bleak…

The visions that haunted…
Are no longer there…

The curve of her body…
Her temptress stare…

The way that she moved…
Waltzing round my head…

Have been extracted…
It’s like I am dead…

With my body floating…
On a huge silent ocean…

Alone in the darkness…
Devoid of all emotion…

Pondering the wherefore…
Questioning the why…

Calling out her name…
Into a black starless sky…

Unable to recall her…
The features of her face…

What was once so vivid…
Vanished without a trace…

The feelings she ignited…
The electricity she sparked…

Are dim distant memories…
Held in a grave unmarked…

Leaving a hole in the void…
A lingering sense of loss…

And a stark realisation…
That behind her lip-gloss…

Was a chance to feel alive…
And dance with the Devil…

Live life on the wild side…
Descend to a different level…

But she came and she went…
Like a freak lightning bolt…

Engulfing me in blackness…
Lacing my wounds with salt…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “On The Level” by Leonard Cohen

Damaged…

aofj
~

I wonder what she thinks about…
When gazing up at the night sky…

A million burning shooting stars…
Wrapped up inside her bitter lies…

I wonder about her thought process…
How she appears constantly scheming…

Managing to construct her world…
Without conscience and without feeling…

Weaving her way through this life…
Where her acid words cause corrosion…

Forever dropping hand grenades…
Then getting high on the explosion…

Before moving onto her next victim…
With a simple grace and ease…

Knowing what fate awaits them…
Knowing she’ll never have to please…

Anyone but her own selfish self…
And doing whatever her ego needs…

To fuel and feel better about herself…
Whilst ignoring others saddened pleas…

I wonder if she sees the damage…
Realises the impact of her actions…

Or if she’s innocent and ignorant…
To other people’s horrified reactions…

Where she walks round so oblivious…
And if she was ever shown the light…

She would feel so physically sick…
She would fight to make things right…

Yet seemingly choosing the other path…
For nothing more than simple kicks…

Ripping apart those broken souls…
Who will never heal and never fix…

Perhaps it stems from childhood…
Forcing her to carry so much baggage…

As I’ve never seen such a vicious bitch…
I’ve never seen eyes look so damaged…

And as I stand and gaze upon her…
I know the truth of what lies within…

Yet there is just something that captivates…
Drawing me deeper into her web of sin…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “To Be Alone” by Hozier

The Darkness…

fpkszr

~

In a room with no light…
In a tomb without a door…

The blackness of my mind…
Cannot take much more…

Of this life lived in purgatory…
This life lived in shame…

Where passers-by know me…
But never ask my name…

Where the sun always shines…
Giving someone else its heat…

Where lovers want to love me…
Yet still I lie and I cheat …

Hidden behind a mask…
Living inside a mental cage…

And when I look in the mirror…
That fool shows his rage…

Staring right through me…
With eyes full of hate…

Sending me a message…
Of the hell that awaits…

Knowing all my secrets…
Watching my every move…

And whispering in my ear…
Whenever I try to prove…

That I can break free of this…
Or walk into the light…

Turning every single step…
Into some ungodly fight…

Making me feel an imposter…
Someone weak and fearful…

Who doesn’t deserve happiness…
And should remain resentful…

Of others all around me…
Who can walk so tall and proud…

Who never battle demons…
Or live beneath a shroud…

And now it slowly comes again…
The darkness and the pain…

Trapping me in my minds eye…
Always driving me insane…

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “You Want It Darker” by Leonard Cohen RIP

 

Broken Down…

piper

~

Why did you do it…
Why did you come back…

Subjecting my world…
To a sustained attack…

Casting your spells…
And poisoning my mind…

Is this just a game to you…
Why act so unkind…

You know that I’m weak…
You know my Achilles heel…

Yet you exploit my feelings…
Put me though this ordeal…

Does it make you smile…
To inflict all this pain…

Has it become your mission…
To drive me insane…

And make me pay…
For all my mistakes…

Is this what you want…
Is this what it takes…

Getting your thrills…
By watching me suffer…

Was I really that bad…
Hurt you like no other…

Leaving those scars…
So deep and so wide…

Hurting so badly…
Omnipresent, deep inside…

That have left you damaged…
With a thirst for revenge…

And you know how to get it…
You know I’ll descend…

Because I’m an addict…
And you are my drug…

Which makes it so easy…
For you to smile so smug…

And taste your victory…
Over and over again…

Getting off on my torment…
Getting high on my pain…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Come Undone” by Raymond Meade FT Justin Currie

Halloween…

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~

Hubble bubble,
toil and trouble…

They hauled her from,
a pile of rubble…

Her broken body,
no longer breathing…

Covered in dust and
wounds still bleeding…

For the longest time,
she’d been missing…

Disappeared suddenly,
after reminiscing…

About a man she met,
at a party long ago…

An opportunity missed,
at least she thought so…

She knew his name and
where he came from…

He’d charmed and entranced,
forced her heart to succumb…

And branded his face,
in the forefront of her mind…

Before one day deciding,
that she’d try to find…

The one who wove a spell,
upon her imagination…

And accepting the risk,
of total deflation…

But when she saw him,
she instantly knew…

That she had been,
such an utter fool…

As he walked hand in hand,
with a stunning goddess…

And in her minds comparison,
she was such a mess…

So she fled the city,
in a lonely taxi tide…

With her heart aching,
she sat in the back and cried…

But as the bright city lights,
began to fade into darkness…

The driver stopped and
ignored all her tearful protests…

Hubble bubble,
toil and trouble…

They hauled her slaughtered body,
from a pile of rubble…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Inspired by the song “Dizzy Heights” by Neil Finn

 

 

On My Own…

gqejg

~

There was no rhyme…
There was no reason…

The words you uttered…
Were simply treason…

Fired from your lips…
Embedding in my back…

From out of the blue…
Like some stealth attack…

That left me reeling…
Spinning out of control…

Slashing at my arteries…
And scaring my soul…

Pushing my fragile mind…
Into depths of despair…

Plunging me into darkness…
Yet you simply didn’t care….

As the world where you live…
Has quickly moved on…

With a brand new lover…
Who worships your sun…

Never looking behind you…
Only focused straight ahead…

And for all that you care…
I could be lifeless and dead…

But I stand in the wreckage…
Of loves broken dream…

With a heart so damaged…
And ripped at the seams…

Looking for something…
To break my free fall…

Clinging on to the hope…
That this isn’t it all…

And someday, sometime…
When the pain has distilled …

I can use this experience…
To try and slowly rebuild…

But until that moment…
The world is shrouded in black…

Where my mind is still shaking…
From your vicious attack…

~

©Eyewillnotcry1973

Poem inspired by “Still Getting Used To Being On My Own” by Tom Odell